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jmw0713 · Aug 13, 2009, 10:08 AM

Yes change your music line up. Songs that get you thinking about the ex are the worst. The best songs are the ones that pump you up and have lyrics that make you take them off the pedestal.

So Happy --Theory of a Deadman

Beautiful -- 10 Years (this one sound deceiving, but you have to listen to the words)

Runnin' Wild -- Airborne (one of my favs very AC/DC like)

Stay away from country... I've been incorporating more country music in to my music portfolio. I'm very selective though... a lot of songs that are out get me thinking. That's why I stick more toward the heavy rock.

none12345 · Aug 13, 2009, 10:43 AM

Im starting to get into the heavy stuff like breaking benjamin. They are awesome but at the same time there are many well written love songs. Lol

jmw0713 · Aug 13, 2009, 12:22 PM

Well, shelve the love songs for a bit until you get to a point where they don't bring back such powerful memories. For a while, I was constantly avoiding certain songs on the radio for the exact reason you are writing about today. It was tough because me and the ex were always going to concerts. So a lot of my favorite bands brought back some memories. I think back now, and I am sort of glad that some of those concert memories were always a little hazy...

Sometimes you just have to avoid certain things until you are ready to deal with them again. One day you will hear one of these songs and not change the track/station. After it is over, you will realize that it doesn't affect you anymore and can look at that as one of your moving-on milestones!

I went to see Breaking Benjamin concert a while back. They canceled at the last minute, because the lead singer got into legal trouble my city. LOL!

none12345 · Aug 13, 2009, 10:24 PM

Im out here alone, trying to get home. Im starting to think there is no life after her. All I'm looking for is happiness, with or without her and I've been searching and found nothing. I think all that still matters is love ever after. I don't know what I'm talking about, just going on. What do you guys think?

amicon · Aug 13, 2009, 10:31 PM

Happiness I think we need to find within ourselves.and the past IS the past.sometimes we allow our memories to haunt us.think about h o w you can make today a good day for you.

friend4u178 · Aug 13, 2009, 10:43 PM

Originally Posted by none12345

All im looking for is happiness, with or without her and i've been searching and found nothing.

When you stop desparately looking for love it will find you.

Your still young , so start doing things you enjoy doing , stuff you can't do when your attached to someone.

This way you'll become happy in yourself and it'll show in your happy positive attitude :)

Gemini54 · Aug 14, 2009, 01:12 AM

Originally Posted by none12345

Im out here alone, trying to get home. Im starting to think there is no life after her. All im looking for is happiness, with or without her and i've been searching and found nothing. I think all that still matters is love ever after. I dont know what im talking about, just going on. What do you guys think?

What does 'happiness' mean to you? I think that you're smart enough to know that other people are rarely the providers of happiness - it IS something that we need to find within ourselves.

Having said that, happiness is not a state of being - it is a state of mind, and for many of us it is fleeting. Why don't you focus on ACCEPTANCE of what you're feeling now. It may be that you just need to accept that you're unhappy, at this point in time, and to stop searching for something that is currently unattainable.

It is the striving for something that you're unable to achieve, that's making you unhappy. This will probably sound very 'Zen', but instead of trying for something that you're not achieving, can you just try to 'BE'?

If you can accept the way you feel and not judge it, you might just feel OK.

slapshot_oi · Aug 14, 2009, 03:56 AM

Originally Posted by none12345

Im out here alone, trying to get home. Im starting to think there is no life after her. All im looking for is happiness, with or without her and i've been searching and found nothing. I think all that still matters is love ever after. I dont know what im talking about, just going on. What do you guys think?

I tell you what I tell everyone in your position, set goals and make 'em.

Originally Posted by none12345

Im starting to get into the heavy stuff like breaking benjamin. They are awesome but at the same time there are many well written love songs. lol

Well, Down is on tour again, they're arguably the last good southern metal band still around since Pantera's Dimebag was killed. If you haven't heard them, definitely check them out, especially their first album Nola.

At least to me, music is very important and is one of the few things in life that never gets dull and can always change my mood.

jmw0713 · Aug 14, 2009, 07:00 AM

None, try going out with some buddies, have a couple beers, and talk to some girls. Just say hi and start shooting the breeze with them. Maybe even ask for their number. It's time to start being a little proactive in your healing. Don't desperately search, but keep your eyes open.

Have FUN with friends! You won't feel so alone then.

none12345 · Aug 19, 2009, 04:52 PM

Hey everyone. So today I went on my Facebook which I haven't for a while and I checked my inbox and look what I found? A message from my ex's best friend.

What?? You befriended everyone including me?? And blocked on msn? Wordddd. Well. Have a great life then. -.-

What should I do? I feel guilty. I deleted and blocked my ex and all her friends. This message was sent in the middle of June so its been a while but I didn't read it till now.

friend4u178 · Aug 19, 2009, 05:27 PM

Noney
You get on with your life and stop worrying about what your Ex or her friends are doing or thinking.

It's out of your control so just a complete waste of energy worrying about it.

talaniman · Aug 19, 2009, 05:29 PM

Mid June?? A bit to late to cry over spilt milk.

HIT DELETE.

none12345 · Aug 19, 2009, 05:31 PM

M the thing is I befriended all her friends, and she sent that message to me. Do I ignore it and go on with my life?

Im trying really hard to go on with my life.

friend4u178 · Aug 19, 2009, 05:33 PM

Yep you leave it alone , when your over your Ex you can recommunicate with the friends if you so feel like it.

At the moment this is all about you and how your healing , not about their feelings.

If they're worthy friends they'll understand.

none12345 · Aug 19, 2009, 05:40 PM

Im trying really hard guys. Is it true you can only fully get over someone when you find someone else?

BlackVY · Aug 19, 2009, 05:43 PM

Nope... because in so many cases, when a person is with someone else, they still have feelings for their ex and their current relationship suffers from that, one way or another.

You are only really over someone when you are really over them. Only you know when that is

friend4u178 · Aug 19, 2009, 06:02 PM

Originally Posted by none12345

Im trying really hard guys. Is it true you can only fully get over someone when you find someone else?

Not at all , in fact a lot of people believe that and only end up hurting someone else for their own selfish needs.

Healing takes time , so you need to help yourself heal quicker by going NC etc. and not living with false hope , and worrying about silly 2 month old messages on FB etc. ;)

none12345 · Aug 19, 2009, 06:05 PM

okay guys thanks a lot for the support. I've say I've come along way, its been so long since I talked to her I forgot how long its been, starting to forget her number, care less but there are still left over feelings, I think its been a little more than half a year. Talking to girls again =P

BlackVY · Aug 19, 2009, 06:12 PM

That's good man... keep it up...

In time you will really be over her and you'll know it... but you can tell right now you are not totally there yet, but you are doing fine... :)

none12345 · Oct 8, 2009, 04:15 PM

Hey guys, its been almost a year since me and my ex broke up. I don't need her in my life anymore yet I still think of her and get sad sometimes.

I also feel a little embarrassed of how I reacted when she told me she didn't want to be with me anymore but I guess it doesn't matter since ill never see her again, that is if I keep NC and because I was in love.

Sometimes I think that all that still matters is the love and laughter I shared with her which tempts me to break NC. And sometimes I feel like I will never be around her anymore cause of what she did to me. Im not really sure if there is life after her. What do you guys think?