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paxe · Aug 8, 2009, 12:53 AM

Are you ******* kidding me? She left you and a couple of month later she is engaged with that guy? Either she is playing a game with you or she is really engaged and after 1 month... well she is pretty darn stupid and doing one of the biggest mistake of her life. She is going to have only pain down this road.

It's pretty understandable that you are upset, but just think about it... Isn't it for the best? It just shows you what kind of person she is. Don't worry about sleepless night, I also had them together with diarrhea, loss of hair and hair turning white :D.

You'll get your sleep back. You need to tell ALL your friends you don't want to get any news from her. It may seem dull that we tell you you need to heal, once again... but it IS for your own sake. It's not a sentence we're trowing out there, it's something you have to change with your life. These things happen and it's part of life.
It's 4AM here and I'm a bit drunk after going out lol. I was dressed super classy and all the girls were eyeing me and also one hot chick grabbed my butt lol. That's the kind of fun you need and helps you forget about your ex.

AKeagle · Aug 8, 2009, 09:27 AM

Originally Posted by paxe

Are you ******* kidding me? She left you and a couple of month later she is engaged with that guy? Either she is playing a game with you or she is really engaged and after 1 month... well she is pretty darn stupid and doing one of the biggest mistake of her life. She is going to have only pain down this road.

It's pretty understandable that you are upset, but just think about it... Isn't it for the best? It just shows you what kind of person she is. Don't worry about sleepless night, I also had them together with diarrhea, loss of hair and hair turning white :D.

You'll get your sleep back. You need to tell ALL your friends you don't want to get any news from her. It may seem dull that we tell you you need to heal, once again... but it IS for your own sake. It's not a sentence we're trowing out there, it's something you have to change with your life. These things happen and it's part of life.
It's 4AM here and I'm a bit drunk after going out lol. I was dressed super classy and all the girls were eyeing me and also one hot chick grabbed my butt lol. That's the kind of fun you need and helps you forget about your ex.

I know what she is doing is stupid. I have no idea if it's even true. She knows I have friends around where she lives, an if I wanted to could find out pretty anything that is going on back home, but I don't. I don't care that much, I'm busy moving forward in life, advancing my career, college, enjoying meeting people.

I'm not that mad about what she is doing, I'm more mad that my friend ruined my week. My college friend(the one that told me) said that she thought it was the best thing for her to tell me. After she told me that, I said "is there anything else you want to tell me, that my head is to small, my mother is fat, any other way you would like to ruin my great day? No, good bye" after that I jumped up and walked out of my house, my life friend(from hs) finally caught up with me and talked to me for awhile. My friend is stupid for even bothering me with the information.

As for sleeping I did fine.

Conclusion: fishing for something or she is just that weird

talaniman · Aug 8, 2009, 10:03 AM

I'll bet if you reply to anyone who gives you updates on your ex, with "so what??" they will stop.

Especially giving them a blank stare with it. Sometimes the least reaction, is the best action.

AKeagle · Aug 8, 2009, 10:12 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

I'll bet if you reply to anyone who gives you updates on your ex, with "so what??" they will stop.

Especially giving them a blank stare with it. Sometimes the least reaction, is the best action.

Yeah I was calm on the phone, and just hung up after. Since then my college friend has been tryingto get in contact with me to talk. I don't need to talk about anything, is done and over, and I've not been dwelling on it. At the same time I don't need updates on my ex's life.

AKeagle · Aug 8, 2009, 09:04 PM

Wow at this rate of bad luck, I should go buy lottery tickets, cause my lucky streak has to hit soon

paxe · Aug 8, 2009, 09:33 PM

Originally Posted by AKeagle

Wow at this rate of bad luck, I should go buy lottery tickets, cause my lucky streak has to hit soon

It's true that this shouldn't make you feel great but on the grand scheme of things, and in all the events that can happen in someone's life, how significant is it really?
I cannot compare this episode with my life, but I do think of my ex from time to time. More importantly I have other problems that are much more important and much harder to deal with... but I still deal with them as hard as it may be.
Life brings misfortune but we have to grow over them and be stronger with every problem that comes in our path.

AKeagle · Aug 8, 2009, 10:22 PM

I feel that it is significant enough, it has shaped how attitude about life after the beginning of my life on my own.
Everyone has problems in their life.
Life sure does, no argument there. But at some point I would like to stop receiving misfortune on all fronts(family, friends, relationships, personal life)

paxe · Aug 8, 2009, 10:29 PM

Originally Posted by AKeagle

but at some point i would like to stop receiving misfortune on all fronts(family, friends, relationships, personal life)

You can't control that and that's a fact you need to accept.

talaniman · Aug 9, 2009, 08:12 AM

Originally Posted by paxe

You can't control that and that's a fact you need to accept.

Darn it Pax, couldn't give you a greenie for that statement, but your so dead on, that's why you do your best to control what you can, and that's usually what you do about the curves life throws you.

Talaniman Rule #1-

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

harriejansen · Aug 9, 2009, 08:19 AM

I liked that one:

Accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference

I think many of us here need more wisdom...

AKeagle · Aug 9, 2009, 08:33 AM

Originally Posted by paxe

You can't control that and that's a fact you need to accept.

I have accepted that life is that way. I make sure I give as much attention as possible to all of them.

I would really like to know how I should feel. Not that anyone came make me feel a certain way. One part of me is, I hate my friend for telling me (as if I cared) I need to forgive my friend... I know that some people in this forum might say I'm still dwelling, but actually look at what I do day to day, and I just don't have time, the only time I seem to talk about her is when my cousin is talking about his situation, and I tell him what I have done to get him to move forward.

The other part of me says, what was I unable to offer her, that was unable to make her happy. Now of course people can say we grow apart and in separate directions. OK. If you say becoming more dependent on your family and going to the first guy that would say I love you every second (no matter what this price) then yes we did grow apart. But that still doesn't justify the blind side hit. Either it was going on for awhile, or she is just really needs to know someone loves her (either are bad)

Positive not: I am going through this complex and really hurtful heart break at a young age, it has taught me how to protect myself against it, but also what I am really looking for in a partner.

Question: does anyone know about the 3 loves a mans will have in his life? First is young love, second is infatuation, third is true love. I think I have those right, if not can someone please explain them to me...

harriejansen · Aug 9, 2009, 08:42 AM

About the 3 loves... I had 3!

My first at school, I was 17, very very much in love, she ended up cheating with my best friend!

Then my now ex-wife, we have been together 20 years, very bad breakup, but 3 kids together

And now my current ex, although probably the feelings are so strong because of big expectations and hope from my part...

I sure hope there will be more love to come! So I am not sure about the 3 loves you mention.

AKeagle · Aug 9, 2009, 08:46 AM

Originally Posted by harriejansen

About the 3 loves... I had 3!

My first at school, I was 17, very very much in love, she ended up cheating with my best friend!

Then my now ex-wife, we have been together 20 years, very bad breakup, but 3 kids together

And now my current ex, although probably the feelings are so strong because of big expectations and hope from my part...

I sure hope there will be more love to come! So I am not sure about the 3 loves you mention.

What I heard was the a man will have three main loves in his life, that doesn't mean that there will be only three. 1 and 2 could be done more than once, but three is the one that is the perfect one for a man. Now someone could go straight to 3 or skip 1 to 3, but the concept is still the same.

talaniman · Aug 9, 2009, 10:09 AM

question: does anyone know about the 3 loves a mans will have in his life? First is young love, second is infatuation, third is true love. I think I have those right, if not can someone please explain them to me...

You mean I was dumped all those other times for nothing?? What a bummer.

amicon · Aug 9, 2009, 10:21 AM

And I recently broke up with number seven.whoops!
Your heart will mend and you ll love again.

AKeagle · Aug 9, 2009, 10:42 AM

Originally Posted by amicon

and i recently broke up with number seven.whoops!
Your heart will mend and you ll love again.

Guess the theory was wrong

amicon · Aug 9, 2009, 11:05 AM

Which is a good thing I think.take good care of yourself.

paxe · Aug 9, 2009, 01:37 PM

Originally Posted by AKeagle

i have accepted that life is that way. i make sure i give as much attention as possible to all of them.

I would really like to know how i should feel. not that anyone came make me feel a certain way. one part of me is, i hate my friend for telling me (as if i cared) i need to forgive my friend........ i know that some people in this forum might say i'm still dwelling, but actually look at what i do day to day, and i just don't have time, the only time i seem to talk about her is when my cousin is talking about his situation, and i tell him what i have done to get him to move forward.

the other part of me says, what was i unable to offer her, that was unable to make her happy. now of course people can say we grow apart and in separate directions. OK. if you say becoming more dependent on your family and going to the first guy that would say i love you every second (no matter what this price) then yes we did grow apart. but that still doesn't justify the blind side hit. either it was going on for awhile, or she is just really needs to know someone loves her (either are bad)

positive not: i am going through this complex and really hurtful heart break at a young age, it has taught me how to protect myself against it, but also what i am really looking for in a partner.

question: does anyone know about the 3 loves a mans will have in his life? first is young love, second is infatuation, third is true love. i think i have those right, if not can someone please explain them to me......

Well I also had my break up at a young age ( the same actually ) and I finally understood that there our exes are not unique persons. On the contrary there is many different girls that are much better and some of them are much worse. I think there can be more than 3 loves, but sometimes less than 3. It is very rare to only have 1 love.

The fact that she is engaged to this other guy (truth or not) is meaningless. It's not your fault it's her own. I heard a lot of crasy stuff about my ex but it is none of my business anymore. I would rather care about my friends and my family which I have lost focus on. If I think about my ex, I change my thoughts to something more positive like my bounds with my family, my future, or my friends. Break ups make us learn important lessons.

AKeagle · Aug 9, 2009, 02:49 PM

Originally Posted by paxe

Well I also had my break up at a young age ( the same actually ) and I finally understood that there our exes are not unique persons. On the contrary there is many different girls that are much better and some of them are much worse. I think there can be more than 3 loves, but sometimes less than 3. It is very rare to only have 1 love.

The fact that she is engaged to this other guy (truth or not) is meaningless. It's not your fault it's her own. I heard a lot of crasy stuff about my ex but it is none of my business anymore. I would rather care about my friends and my family which I have lost focus on. If I think about my ex, I change my thoughts to something more positive like my bounds with my family, my future, or my friends. Break ups make us learn important lessons.

Fact: I have no idea if it is true or not. In my mind it is true, only cause then I don't need to worry about thinking she is playing a game with my mind.

The three loves in a guys life. It makes no sense I know it's just something I read about. That guy will have three main female loves, but you can go over the first and the second more than once and number three is the one the that is perfect. Sounds cornny, I heard about it, just thought I would pass the idea around

sylvan_1998 · Aug 10, 2009, 07:42 AM

Okay, maybe your friend had lost sensitivity, but you know, what if all your friends knew and you bumped into her not knowing? You would have been just as mad. It was a damned if you do and damned if you don't. In this instance, I would not kill the messenger.

Also, grieve for this loss as you need to. But at some point, quit giving her the power to bring you down. When you can do this you will truly be liberated.

And lastly, sometimes misfortune is in the eye of the beholder. Really, change your glasses and start looking at life as if it was not all against you. It just is what it is. And then improve upon it. Always look for a way to improve and make it a little bit better.

Really, I understand your setback. But I would rather have the knowledge than be blindsided. I also agree with tal in that just react with a oh. How nice.

Good luck