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    god_forgivs_all's Avatar
    god_forgivs_all Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 2, 2009, 05:47 AM
    Struggling with lesbianism
    Hello everybody,
    well i m here struggling with this same sex attraction thing.i tried a lot to overcome this because i know its not logical as well it develops so much inferiority in you if you are attracted towards the same sex.

    i was in a relation for last 6 years and i want to get over this relation as i feel that its hindering me to overcome this sexuality problem of mine.i don't stay in contact with this grl bu i dont know why she wont leave my head.she is not into any long term commitment type.she just wants to carry this relation as long it goes smoothly.well i just got over her and was able to bring back my life on a normal pace.

    i am in college and the worse that has happened with me is that i had a girl with whom i always discussed my problems.we were just friends until the day came that i started to realise that i was bowled over by this girl.i couldnt face her and started feeling uncomfortable in her presence.i couldnt face her.whenever i was somewhere i always searched for her and when i saw her ,started to pretend as if she wasnt around.

    i fell in love with her deeply.and i thought it was again going to not let me get over.othen we started ignoring each other and i thought she did it because it was me who was behaving so wierdly.but then later on one day we just met formally and in usual conversation i told her how much i loved her and was attached to her.

    out of the blue she told me that she felt the same for me...not again..now i don't know how to overcome this same sex problem as i can't leave her cos she is my best friend and we are study mates as well..........should i tell her that i am lesbian and ask her to help my way out as what she says is that she has no same sex attraction.but i think she has..

    should i tell her that i am lesbian and ask for her help as i love her very much

    please help me...
    :(:(:(:confused:
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #2

    Aug 2, 2009, 06:29 AM

    My dear, just put it all 'out on the table'. Fighting to bury how you feel is only going to cause more problems for you. You have to come to grips with your sexuality. Go with the flow, and if this one doesn't turn out the way you want, then you move on.

    Tick
    dincher's Avatar
    dincher Posts: 163, Reputation: 12
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    #3

    Aug 2, 2009, 09:38 AM

    It's funny how some people say that this is a choice. But I can see from this post and others that this attraction really isn't. And if it is, then why is she feeling this way?
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #4

    Aug 2, 2009, 10:17 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by god_forgivs_all View Post
    should i tell her that i am lesbian and ask for her help as i love her very much

    please help me...
    Hello g:

    You got to come out of the closet. It's the ONLY thing that will set you free.

    excon
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Aug 2, 2009, 10:34 AM

    Your sexuality is not your problem, but being honest with yourself, and others is. I think a fear of rejection is clouding your judgment, and being honest to the one your attracted to is the way to go. Tell her the truth and then deal with it, whatever happens.

    You could start by asking her if she is bi, or a lesbian.

    The bottom line is being comfortable and happy with who you are.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #6

    Aug 2, 2009, 10:45 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by dincher View Post
    It's funny how some people say that this is a choice. But I can see from this post and others that this attraction really isn't. And if it is, then why is she feeling this way?
    I hope for the OP's sake she doesnt feel this is only a choice she has to make. She can't honestly deny her sexuality. To do that she is going against your nature and if her nature is lesbianism, then that's okay. She has to realize that. That's why I said in my post that if this isn't right for the other girl, then that's okay too, and she has to move on.

    Tick
    jmjoseph's Avatar
    jmjoseph Posts: 2,727, Reputation: 1244
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    #7

    Aug 2, 2009, 11:22 AM
    You should be honest with HER, and most importantly YOURSELF. GOD made you the way you are. Go live your life, and don't waste any more time.
    dincher's Avatar
    dincher Posts: 163, Reputation: 12
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    #8

    Aug 2, 2009, 11:58 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by god_forgivs_all View Post
    .but then later on one day we just met formally and in usual conversation i told her how much i loved her and was attached to her.

    out of the blue she told me that she felt the same for me...
    Okay, so when she said that she felt the same way for you, what does that mean? Is she in love with you, or does she get the impression that you just love her as a friend?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #9

    Aug 2, 2009, 04:27 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by dincher View Post
    Okay, so when she said that she felt the same way for you, what does that mean? Is she in love with you, or does she get the impression that you just love her as a friend?


    Absolutely agree - I have friends who are lesbian. We "love" each other - as friends. The fact that someone says she loves you does NOT mean she wants/needs/plans to have sex with you.

    I'd pay more attention to actions or just come straight out and ask!
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #10

    Aug 2, 2009, 04:30 PM

    I would say first that dating anyone we work with is a problem and I don't ever advise that.
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