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Cal Mom · Jul 21, 2009, 12:38 PM

My son is 2-1/2, and my parents enjoy taking him to a neighboring state to visit my father's parents every 4-6 weeks. My husband works during the week and only gets to spend time with our son on weekends, so he already did not like the fact that they went so often.

On top of that, the last time they went - which was the last weekend in June, my parents...
1) took my son on a pontoon boat with out a life jacket and
2) let my Aunt drive him on the lake riding a jet ski (he was wearing the life vest then, but looking at the pictures, they were going pretty fast).

My husband and I felt like both these activities were not safe for a child who is only 2 and has almost no experience in the water. My husband has decided that he does not want my parents to take our son out of town again, because he does not trust their judgment. So we decided that from now on we would go too, and we have scheduled a trip for the first weekend in September to go out there with them.

But my parents want to take my son back before then. My husband and I have obligations for almost every weekend until then, and my parents will be on vacation the 2 weekends that we are free. I was hoping that things would just kind of fall into place so that I wouldn’t have to say anything to my parents that would hurt their feelings, but it’s not looking like that’ll happen. What would you do in this situation?

Torrid13 · Jul 21, 2009, 12:43 PM

Talk to them and let them know that while you greatly appreciate the time they take to spend with your son, you would rather he not be doing certain activities (such as jet skiing) without you and your husband there.

If they ask if you trust them, say you do, just that you would feel more comfortable being around when such activities occur. If they don't want to listen to your wishes, then you will have to let them know that they will not be allowed to take your son alone on trips anymore.

88sunflower · Jul 21, 2009, 12:48 PM

That is your most prized possession and your worried about how to tell your parents to be safe with him? I guess your still here so they took good care of you. But its your child to decide what is wrong or right. If your husband thinks there were some situations that weren't safe, then say it. Say hey love that you take him away, but please no jet ski's or boats. Just say how you feel. I am sure your parents love your child and only want what's best. But its been years since they have had one that age I am guessing. They forget how easily accidents can happen.

Cal Mom · Jul 21, 2009, 01:02 PM

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

Say hey love that you take him away, but please no jet ski's or boats.

I would not have a problem telling them that, but my husband doesn't even want to give them another oppertuntity. So I have to basically find a nice way to tell them that we don't trust them.

88sunflower · Jul 21, 2009, 01:12 PM

Do your husband and you have to go together? Can you just go? Or are you obligations keeping you both tied up?

Cal Mom · Jul 21, 2009, 01:26 PM

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

Do your husband and you have to go together? Can you just go? Or are you obligations keeping you both tied up?

Good point - I was just looking at that, and we probably can do the trip sooner if my husband doesn't go. But I'd still like some more suggestions on how to tell my parents, because I'm sure we'll be in the same situation again. Thanks!

Fr_Chuck · Jul 21, 2009, 01:34 PM

Since they take him on the weekend, merely you and hubby go also.

88sunflower · Jul 21, 2009, 01:36 PM

I guess you know your parents better then we do. You will know how to word it best. But tell them after seeing the pics it made you a bit nervous and you would feel more at ease if they did things differantly. Let them know what made you nervous and possibly if they can make better choices. Or before they did a crazy adventure maybe they can call first.

Jake2008 · Jul 21, 2009, 03:41 PM

Tell your parents that because your son is so young, you aren't going to allow him to go anywhere without you, unless it is close to home for short visits.

If they require an explanation, or press you for one, just say, "he's too young to be away from us"

If they continue to persist, tell them over and over again that you are happy when they visit you, or when he can visit them in town, but he will not be going without you and/or your husband, because he is too young.

Let them think what they will. Keep it simple. You are only closing the door on a very dangerous situation without pointing fingers, and keeping the other door open to maintain a healthy, safer situation for your son.