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talaniman · Jul 9, 2009, 08:12 AM

I see nothing wrong with making a decision, and follow through with it.

Please keep us posted, and Good Luck!

lagalagallama · Jul 9, 2009, 05:23 PM

Thank you all. Yes I did a lot of thinking before I came here, making sure my thoughts and feelings were not just due to the shock of the loss. I am determined to get her back, and that is why I came here. Not to see people's opinions pf whether I should or should not try to be with her, but rather to get advice on how to get her back.

I do not think it is that she doesn't want to be with me, I think that she is scared that if she is with me she won't be able to live her life in her own way. However I cannot know what is in her head without talking to her in person, and right now that is not happening. I am trying very hard not to push her away, have not tried to contact her since she contacted me Sunday night. Usually she texts me within three days, but this is day four; its getting really hard. Her profile also just went to private, not sure if this has to do with me or not, as we were no longer friends on fb and she may have just limitted her profile to only friends.

And yes, I know I am overanalyzing things, its just tough.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 9, 2009, 05:41 PM

"I think that she is scared that if she is with me she won't be able to live her life in her own way. "

I think that is a good enough reason why she would not want to be with you. I think if she wants to be with you she will let you know. The fact that she is not contacting you speaks volumes.
If you want to sit around waiting, well I guess that is up to you.

lagalagallama · Jul 11, 2009, 09:40 AM

I agree that it is a good reason, which is why I want to show her that she can live her own life and still be with me, that I have made changes and improvements in myself. I haven't heard from her since Sunday night, which is very strange and is kind of freaking me out. It is almost never this long between times she contacts me, and Sunday she did say she missed me, but now I feel like something has happened.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 11, 2009, 07:15 PM

Nothing has happened. She has moved on and you need to do the same.

lagalagallama · Jul 12, 2009, 09:09 AM

Nope, she instant messaged me yesterday, something she hasn't done in a very long time. I kept it cool, we chatted a little bit and that was it.

drumer5289 · Jul 12, 2009, 04:02 PM

She is just worried some girlz tell someone they think they like I love you and stuff. But when it gets to th point of working things out, the girl may feel pressured or unsure. Give her some more space. Don't text back tell her she needs to think if she wants you or not. U shouldn't let her play with you mind and heart

lagalagallama · Jul 12, 2009, 10:12 PM

Yea I have eased off quite a bit, giving her all the space she needs. I know we love each other, and I know I can't push things, its just hard not to. But yea I am giving her all the space she needs, not pushing anything for right now. She is a very stubborn girl, something I really like about her, except for right now. I know this is something she has to come to on her own.

sunflower811 · Jul 14, 2009, 08:08 AM

Originally Posted by lagalagallama

Yea I have eased off quite a bit, giving her all the space she needs. I know we love each other, and I know I can't push things, its just hard not to. But yea I am giving her all the space she needs, not pushing anything for right now. She is a very stubborn girl, something I really like about her, except for right now. I know this is something she has to come to on her own.

If you don't mind me asking how old are you guys?

lagalagallama · Jul 14, 2009, 12:38 PM

I am 22, she is 19.

sunflower811 · Jul 14, 2009, 12:59 PM

Originally Posted by lagalagallama

I am 22, she is 19.

You are doing the right thing by giving her, her space. I know what you are going through and I know it's hard, you have to be strong. If you really love her the way you say you do, let it go for now. If it's really meant to be for you guys, it will come natural.

lagalagallama · Jul 14, 2009, 09:24 PM

I've never been a big believer in fate, I like to think that we each make our own fate. It is so hard to sit back and do nothing, but if that is what I have to do to get her back then that is what I will do. I can't help but feel like I am making some kind of horrible mistake though.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 15, 2009, 04:18 AM

When someone tells you to leave them alone or give them space, that is what you do, do "nothing"
To try and do "something" to get them back is disrespecting their wishes.
It's not about making your fate it's about respecting a person's wishes.

sunflower811 · Jul 15, 2009, 05:20 AM

Originally Posted by lagalagallama

I've never been a big believer in fate, I like to think that we each make our own fate. It is so hard to sit back and do nothing, but if that is what I have to do to get her back then that is what I will do. I can't help but feel like I am making some kind of horrible mistake though.

You won't be making a mistake, she wants you to chase her. The best thing for you to do, is get someone else to occupy your time for right now, it doesn't have to be serious, just to get your mind of her. Don't let this girl play you!
Another reason why she's doing or acting this way, is because she knows you love her, and you'll always want her and be with her, if she knows, she can somehow loose you, believe me she will shape up.

slapshot_oi · Jul 15, 2009, 05:49 AM

If you want advice on how to get her back, then just badger her until she gives in. I've seen it work before.

lagalagallama · Jul 15, 2009, 06:59 AM

I don't think that is correct. She was chasing me for a while, now it has just sort of stopped. It is very upsetting. And I don't know that badgering would work either, it might just push her further away. I am really at a loss as to how to proceed, I feel like I am further from getting back together with her than I was a month ago. I know if we just hung out a bit, everything would be OK, but I don't know how to get to that point.

kctiger · Jul 15, 2009, 07:11 AM

There are a TON of girls out there that would probably kill to get a guy like you and you continue wasting time on an internet site asking how to get your ex back... does that seem logical to you? NO! Stop wasting time and go out and enjoy life.

slapshot_oi · Jul 15, 2009, 07:14 AM

Originally Posted by lagalagallama

I don't think that is correct...

Well it looks like your screwed then. Don't know what else to tell you. Sorry.

lagalagallama · Jul 15, 2009, 07:16 AM

Yes there are plenty of girls out there who would like me. However, I am not interested in plenty of girls, I want this girl.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 15, 2009, 07:32 AM

You don't want to badger her, that would get on her nerves and seem like stalking.
She told you to give her space, give her space, but in the meantime, get a life of your own.