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romola · Jul 10, 2009, 03:38 PM

First thanks you to all people which respond.

I need only solid facts. Thank you.

I have an 2 month old infant born in California and did not put the father on the birth certificate. I can't make an solid income in California, too expensive to live. That's the real and only reason I like to move to Georgia where I have friends and be able to live without to pay rent for a year at least, so that I can relax give full attention to my baby and slowly get back to work.

What is the Law?? Will I be able to move? Can the father prevent me from doing so, even it is not proven that he is the father.(no paternity test no declaration has ben filed)

Please I don't need opinions I only need facts about California law in that matter.

Thank you

Bless you all

Romola

N0help4u · Jul 10, 2009, 03:40 PM

Unless he tries to stop you and demands a paternity test I don't see any reason why you can't move. What does he have to say about all this? Does he want to be any part of the baby's life?

romola · Jul 10, 2009, 04:00 PM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

Unless he tries to stop you and demands a paternity test I don't see any reason why you can't move. What does he have to say about all this? Does he want to be any part of the babies life?

Thank you for your answer.

Yes he is furious but not very realistic. When I tell him that I can't make a living for myself (child support would be very little) his answer is that I should have thought about this before I gotten pregnant. That is no help to me and my baby. He is also not willing to move together and resolve problems with a therapist which I offered. He thinks I like to live for free off him. Not true at all.I only need support for a little while since I breast feed. (only an excuse not to work,his words)

I really don't like to be a welfare mom and like to take matters in my own hand meaning moving into a big house in Georgia and having respectful wonderful people 2 of my best girlfriends helping me.

I did not made the birth certificate yet and like to do it in a few weeks without him knowing and move than immediately afterwards. I know it's not the best way but there is no talking to him. He will not listening nor will he work with me and a mediator. That's my only chance.

Thank you

Sincerely
Romola

stevetcg · Jul 10, 2009, 04:02 PM

Can he stop you? Yes. If he files for paternity.

romola · Jul 10, 2009, 04:06 PM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

Can he stop you? Yes. If he files for paternity.

Thank you,

I think you are both right.

It's a very delicate matter and I don't know what else to do.

Bless you

Romola

stevetcg · Jul 10, 2009, 04:10 PM

Originally Posted by romola

Thank you,

I think you are both right.

It's a very delicate matter and I don't know what else to do.

Bless you

Romola

If I were you, I would contact some of the local aid societies. There are several that focus on women and children in situations similar to yours. They may be able to provide you a lawyer for free. Having a lawyer will make getting what you need a whole lot easier.

The problem right now is that if you move, he has 6 months to file for paternity because CA has jurisdiction. If he files for paternity, you can be compelled to return the child or lose custody. Yeah... totally sucks.

N0help4u · Jul 10, 2009, 04:12 PM

Yeah my daughters bf's mother moved from Ohio to Georgia and the Judge said that she could not have primary custody of her daughter --because she moved.

romola · Jul 10, 2009, 04:24 PM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

If I were you, I would contact some of the local aid societies. There are several that focus on women and children in situations similar to yours. They may be able to provide you a lawyer for free. Having a lawyer will make getting what you need a whole lot easier.

The problem right now is that if you move, he has 6 months to file for paternity because CA has jurisdiction. If he files for paternity, you can be compelled to return the child or lose custody. Yeah... totally sucks.

Thank you Steve,

Oh thank you I had no idea. I will take a lawyer.

But only another question. I am german and my baby will get both nationalities german and american. Would it be child abduction if I would go to germany? if he is not on the birth certificate . I am able to get a german and an american birth certificate. I do not think that american jurisdiction can order me to come back if I reside in germany. German Law is if I am not married and give birth than I get automatic full custody of the child.

I know the situation gotten more complicated. Sorry

I will get an Lawyer but like to know what you think about that?

Best wishes and thank you for taking time to read and answer me.

Romola

stevetcg · Jul 10, 2009, 04:36 PM

If a custody order is issued by a US court and you leave the country, yes you can be charged with parental abduction and if you return to the country you definitely can be arrested and charged.

I would not be certain that moving back to Germany would protect you either, if the father were so inclined. The US and German governments have long standing extradition treaties and if the father were to get loud enough to the right people, the state department *could* get involved. Will it? Doubtful... but stranger things have happened.

Best thing is to get it cleared up in court and do it all legal. You know the saying "dont burn any bridges"? It definitely applies here.

romola · Jul 10, 2009, 04:47 PM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

If a custody order is issued by a US court and you leave the country, yes you can be charged with parental abduction and if you return to the country you definitely can be arrested and charged.

I would not be certain that moving back to Germany would protect you either, if the father were so inclined. The US and German governments have long standing extradition treaties and if the father were to get loud enough to the right people, the state department *could* get involved. Will it? Doubtful... but stranger things have happened.

Best thing is to get it cleared up in court and do it all legal. You know the saying "dont burn any bridges"? It definitely applies here.

Steve Thank you again,

To get a custody order I would think he has to have paternity established first. How he is able to do that if I take a longer vacation with my baby?

I will ask an Lawyer about that.Do you know if he may have to take the cost if I take a "plaintiff lawyer"?

Thank you
Romola

stevetcg · Jul 10, 2009, 05:17 PM

Originally Posted by romola

Steve Thank you again,

To get a custody order I would think he has to have paternity established first. How he is able to do that if I take a longer vacation with my baby?

I will ask an Lawyer about that.Do you know if he may have to take the cost if I take a "plaintiff lawyer"?

Thank you
Romola

Is your vacation in the country? A GA court will enforce a CA court order. If you are talking leaving the country... again, that's burning bridges.

No, he will not be required to pay your legal fees.

romola · Jul 10, 2009, 06:07 PM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

Is your vacation in the country? A GA court will enforce a CA court order. If you are talking leaving the country... again, thats burning bridges.

No, he will not be required to pay your legal fees.

Thank you Steve,

You answers where so helpful. I will look how to get a lawyer involved and hopefully these problems will get resolved in a sensitive manner.
I do can show the judge the difference it will make if I can move and support myself in GA, where the living expanses are one third. It will benefit my child immense.

Wish you all the best.

Romola

cdad · Jul 10, 2009, 06:08 PM

The bottom line is that if he files when you leave your looking at either giving up custody or returning with the child. And if you try to go to Germany you will be arrested and spend your child's younger years in prison. For one thing to travel out of the country you need the fathers permission if he's not with you. And its not a stretch at all that the two countries co operate so even if you try to hide they will find you eventually.

romola · Jul 10, 2009, 06:28 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

The bottom line is that if he files when you leave your looking at either giving up custody or returning with the child. And if you try to go to Germany you will be arrested and spend your childs younger years in prison. For one thing to travel out of the country you need the fathers permission if hes not with you. And its not a stretch at all that the two countries co operate so even if you try to hide they will find you eventually.

Hi Cali,

I understand,but also be aware that there is no paternity test done,no declaration is ben signed and he would not be on the birth certificate when I would leave( I will do it all legally anyhow). So therefore he could not sue for custody since fatherhood is not ben established.
It's all a big mess and my child maybe ends up on welfare so he can see her 1 a week. She is only 8 weeks old. Is not fair, therefore I will show the judge what difference it make if I can support myself in GA and my child escape poverty.

Thank you Cali

Bless you
Romola

stevetcg · Jul 10, 2009, 06:32 PM

Originally Posted by romola

So therefore he could not sue for custody since fatherhood is not ben established.

Yes he can. Its all the same process.

cdad · Jul 10, 2009, 06:36 PM

Originally Posted by romola

Hi Cali,

I understand,but also be aware that there is no paternity test done,no declaration is ben signed and he would not be on the birth certificate when I would leave( I will do it all legally anyhow). So therefore he could not sue for custody since fatherhood is not ben established.
It's all a big mess and my child maybe ends up on welfare so he can see her 1 a week. She is only 8 weeks old. Is not fair, therefore I will show the judge what difference it make if I can support myself in GA and my child escape poverty.

Thank you Cali

Bless you
Romola

It doesn't matter. He still can step forward. He can even be granted emergency custody if the situation warrants it.

N0help4u · Jul 10, 2009, 06:37 PM

Yep he can because he goes into court files for custody and requests a proof of paternity test to establish his rights to custody.

stevetcg · Jul 10, 2009, 07:00 PM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

yep he can because he goes into court files for custody and requests a proof of paternity test to establish his rights to custody.

Its CA... he could file for custody before the child was even born. :)

s_cianci · Jul 10, 2009, 07:08 PM

As long as the father does not attempt to enforce his paternal rights you are free to move. However, should you ever need to apply for public assistance you'll be required to establish paternity and pursue a judgment for child support once paternity is established.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 10, 2009, 07:21 PM

Part of the issue they are trying to say, he can file for custody and ask for a DNA test in the same motion to the court.

And the court will look at his desire to be part of the child's life, not your ability to earn a living somewhere else.

In may custody agreement I can't move more than 30 miles from my ex, ( without her permission) to allow her proper visit times with our son.

Also GA if you file for any type of assistance will want you to name the child's father, so they can go after him.