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    sunflower811's Avatar
    sunflower811 Posts: 47, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Jul 8, 2009, 08:37 AM
    This is in response to "missing someone who stopped calling"
    On Saturday I called him and left a message, saying "I just wanted to know how you were and give me a call back" He called me back within the hour, we started to talk, he told me, he was really feeling me until I messed everything up. I said to him, "I understand and wish I could have changed that night but I can't and that Im hoping he can one day put this behind him, but you can't deny that I had feelings for you" I asked him if he can meet me at Starbucks, he agreed. When he got there I asked him if he wanted a coffee he said "no" We huged and kissed, than he asked me where I was going, I told him to the beach with my sister, he told me to call him the second I got back, later on that day I called him, he did not pick up so I left a message, which he never return until the next day at 11:30 pm. I asked him what happened to him last night, he told me "sorry I got drunk" so we just spoke very briefly, he told was going to call me right back, after watching the awards. He didn't call me back until nine days later, which was last night, I spoke to him very casually as if nothing was bothering me, he mentioned that day at the coffee shop, how great I lokked and that I disappeared and he never heard from me again, (when it was really the other way around) He asked me how I was doing etc.. That he was on his way home, he'll call me in a half hour, which he never called. I text him this morning, saying "Thank you for calling me back last night" He never responded. I really don't know what to make of this. Help!
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Jul 8, 2009, 08:42 AM
    Let this relationship go.
    He is clearly not on the same page as you are and it's better to know this early then late.
    You have the warning signs that he may like you but he isn't very reliable.
    Don't wait around for him again.
    sunflower811's Avatar
    sunflower811 Posts: 47, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Jul 8, 2009, 08:49 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Justwantfair View Post
    Let this relationship go.
    He is clearly not on the same page as you are and it's better to know this early then late.
    You have the warning signs that he may like you but he isn't very reliable.
    Don't wait around for him again.
    What should I tell him when he call me again?
    spitvenom's Avatar
    spitvenom Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 373
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Jul 8, 2009, 08:53 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by sunflower811 View Post
    What should I tell him when he call me again?
    Nothing, don't answer.
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Jul 8, 2009, 09:53 AM

    Hon, it's time to let him go. You tried the "be cool" thing, it didn't work.

    Obviously, he is not that into you.

    I'm sorry, but it's time to move on.
    sunflower811's Avatar
    sunflower811 Posts: 47, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #6

    Jul 8, 2009, 09:56 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by HistorianChick View Post
    Hon, it's time to let him go. You tried the "be cool" thing, it didn't work.

    Obviously, he is not that into you.

    I'm sorry, but it's time to move on.
    Ok I understand, than why is he still calling?
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
    Ultra Member
     
    #7

    Jul 8, 2009, 10:11 AM
    Cause men enjoy having back up plans, just as females do.

    He is into you because you are still there every time he blows you off and comes back.
    sunflower811's Avatar
    sunflower811 Posts: 47, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #8

    Jul 8, 2009, 10:15 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Justwantfair View Post
    Cause men enjoy having back up plans, just as females do.

    He is into you because you are still there every time he blows you off and comes back.
    Do you suggest, the next time he calls I should confront him on it?
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
    Ultra Member
     
    #9

    Jul 8, 2009, 10:29 AM
    No, I suggest, as was already suggested, if he calls, DO NOT ANSWER.

    You are being used and you are allowing it.

    You are setting up a rocky foundation for a relationship, have respect for yourself and demand respect when looking for a potential partner. You do that by not allowing yourself to be treated like a doormat or a beck and call girl.
    jenniepepsi's Avatar
    jenniepepsi Posts: 4,042, Reputation: 533
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    #10

    Jul 8, 2009, 10:32 AM

    You can always change your number and not give it to him.
    sunflower811's Avatar
    sunflower811 Posts: 47, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #11

    Jul 27, 2009, 05:15 AM

    Ten days after, he called me, I said to him, WOW where have you been, that I thought he was dead, so we started talking. He mentioned the reason he had been acting so distance, is because of what happened that night, with my ex- boyfriend situation and the rain etc.. He really likes me and so on and so forth, we've been talking almost everyday since. I asked him, why is it that I don't know were he lives, he said is because he doesn't want any girls babysitting him, meaning someone watching his every move or stoping by unexpected. Last Monday we were suppose to meet, and he told me he was going to call me to let me know when his on his way. Five days passed I never heard from him. Saturday he called me five times, which I did not answer, and twice last night I still didn't answer. I really like this guy, I really wanted things to work. Should I call him back? Please help me, I am really confused on what to do.
    danielnoahsmommy's Avatar
    danielnoahsmommy Posts: 2,506, Reputation: 297
    Ultra Member
     
    #12

    Jul 27, 2009, 05:20 AM

    Sounds like he may have wanted a "booty call"
    sunflower811's Avatar
    sunflower811 Posts: 47, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #13

    Jul 27, 2009, 06:07 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by danielnoahsmommy View Post
    sounds like he may have wanted a "booty call"
    OK, If it was a booty call, why would he have stood me up on Monday, he would have took advantage of the situation than... Don't you think? Why would he wait five days to call me back?
    shazamataz's Avatar
    shazamataz Posts: 6,642, Reputation: 1244
    Uber Member
     
    #14

    Jul 27, 2009, 08:18 AM

    He had a better offer on Monday?
    Kept the girl hanging around for 5 days and then called you.

    Just a theory.

    Either way he doesn't sound very caring.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #15

    Jul 27, 2009, 08:25 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by sunflower811 View Post
    ok, If it was a booty call, why would he have stood me up on monday, he would have took advantage of the situation than... Don't you think? why would he wait five days to call me back?
    You are making excuses trying tp explain his behavior to your satisfaction because you do not want to accept the fact that he isn't interested the way you want to believe he is.
    WHY? Because he knows he can.
    He knows he can because you are there at his beckoned call.
    If he doesn't want to be bothered no problem sunflower will be there ready, willing and able when I FEEL like getting around to her again.
    If it wasn't a booty call he would get back to you more reasonably.
    You are looking at it backwards.

    Why isn't he bothering with you on Mondays or 5 days in a row should be the emphasis on your perspective rather than looking to justify his behavior to what you want as the outcome.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #16

    Jul 27, 2009, 11:45 AM
    I think you may just have to step up and tell him not to call you, that the relationship is over.

    I think its rude to phone somebody, leave a message, and they don't return the call, especially if you are expecting it. That he has done that to you, does not make it any less rude for you to do it back to him.

    If it's over, it's over. Tell him that. That would be the time as well, to tell him that from that point on, you will not answer his phone calls, return his messages, or text him.

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