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talaniman · Jun 29, 2009, 01:03 PM

I've admitted that I am wrong- but there ARE no consequences in this matter.

None that you know of... yet!!

jenniepepsi · Jun 29, 2009, 01:07 PM

Yes... there WILL be consequences eventually.

When you grow up, and have boy friends of your own, or get married, eventually this story will come up, and your husbnad/significate other will never trust you again.

Bonita-- · Jun 29, 2009, 01:26 PM

If you have sex with this boy again, you will regret it. He just wants sex from you, he does not like you and he does not want you. The only reason it "meant a lot to him" or whatever is because he's horny and he wants it again. There are consequences here, and it is your reputation. Do you want to be known as a slut? Then have sex with him again. I hope you're smart enough to realize what's really going on here and stop before you make it any worse.

talaniman · Jun 29, 2009, 01:40 PM

One of the consequences of not learning from a mistake, is that you will repeat it, until you finally get it.

Lets be real, drunken sex with so called friends, is a mistake.

Making excuses for them, and yourself is a mistake.

Doing things you know nothing about, and without proper knowledge (unprotected sex) is a mistake.

I guarantee there will be consequences, as we as strangers are thinking you're a slut, and so will those that find out about your escapades will too.

ashleighcooper1 · Jun 30, 2009, 01:04 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

we as strangers are thinking your a slut.

Not defending myself here. But as I was growing up, the definition of a slut was someone who slept with hundreds of people in the space of two minutes.

If I've lost my virginity to one boy, and slept with one person, that one time, in my opinion, it doesn't define me as a 'slut'.. it may define me as untrustworthy, fair enough. But never a slut. I never did it out of spite.

Romefalls19 · Jun 30, 2009, 05:39 AM

Being a "slut" to people has several different meanings. Someone who would lose their virginity, over a spin the bottle game tells me that you are easy. That may not be the case, but your actions dictate what people think of you.

kctiger · Jun 30, 2009, 05:41 AM

Being a slut simply means you have sex without regards for morality or ethics... you fit perfectly into that category right?

Either way, your actions lacked morals, period. We are arguing over apples right now, but the bottom line is that what happened was completely inexcusable.

talaniman · Jun 30, 2009, 05:55 AM

You may think us harsh, and cruel, but only because we care, and don't want you to travel a wrong path. That has consequences of its own.

JBeaucaire · Jun 30, 2009, 09:26 AM

Reading back over this thread, I think I'll disagree now that "no harm was done".

We are the total of our experiences. Our concept of right/wrong, acceptable/unacceptable, preferable/rejection... these are critical concepts that are strongly affected by "milestone moments" in our lives.

My first "all-the-way" sexual experience was beautiful and tense and full of problems for me, but it was at its core, beautiful. First kisses, first dates, first oral sex and first intercourse, all of these are "formative" events. They can have LONGTERM affects.

Listening to you talk about this now, I fear your experience has lowered your opinion of sex. I believe your walls have come down and you are in danger of forever having to work to undo this. It may take you a long time to reconnect to the "value" of the sexual experience (including moral boundaries) in relationship development.

I think you have been harmed by this. Perhaps permanently. I hope that doesn't turn out to be the case.

I hope you see my point and ponder it before defending more. Just think about what all this means to you and your near future before you declare "everything is OK".

Please.

jenniepepsi · Jun 30, 2009, 09:50 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman
We as strangers are thinking you're a slut.

I have to speak out against this. Its wrong of you to speak for me. Or anyone else on this board.

I personally do not think she is a slut. Young... confused... yes, but not a slut.

Keep your judgemental comments to yourself...

Romefalls19 · Jun 30, 2009, 09:57 AM

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

i have to speak out against this. its wrong of you to speak for me. or anyone else on this board.

i personally do not think she is a slut. young...confused...yes, but not a slut.

keep your judgemental comments to yourself...

I disagree, he didn't include EVERYONE he just made a basis comment, because everyone above saw her for what she is acting like.

JBeaucaire · Jun 30, 2009, 10:01 AM

Being judgmental is one of the keys to success. That's one of those trigger words people use expecting automatic support that it's bad to do that.

It's not. Being judgmental means you're being discerning. Most of the problems we interact with people here on the board are results of them NOT being discerning, of NOT judging people/actions honestly.

Everything is not OK. That "message of the 70s" is still hurting our culture today. Everything is NOT Ok?

I do agree it may be presumptuous to speak for everyone, perhaps Tal shouldn't have done that. No way the follow-up thought to that is "don't be judgmental". That's the wrong place to go with it.

So, yes, we should all speak for ourselves. And when doing so, we should honestly use words that accurately depict the situation from our point of view. Support that point of view, and you're fine.

Don't fear trigger words, and don't assume everyone accepts "age old" concepts, because we don't.

talaniman · Jun 30, 2009, 12:21 PM

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

I have to speak out against this. Its wrong of you to speak for me. Or anyone else on this board.

I personally do not think she is a slut. Young... confused... yes, but not a slut.

Keep your judgemental comments to yourself...

I think I explained my reasons very well thank you!

You may think us harsh, and cruel, but only because we care, and don't want you to travel a wrong path. That has consequences of its own.

blondndisguise5 · Jul 22, 2009, 06:10 PM

I'm with talan on this one, look girly you were the other woman, you had sex with a taken man. That makes you a slut. You purposefully are hurting your "best friend" you need to grow up and realize that your 17 and unlss you live in europe your over drinking isn't even legal. And your use is highly immature. You need professional help.

N0help4u · Jul 22, 2009, 08:10 PM

Did OP change the post or what I noticed Gemini and Danielnoahsmom replies had nothing to do with what was posted.

Anyway slut or not OP should realize that when you play with fire you get burnt. She isn't even taking into consideration WHY his girlfriend doesn't care or anything that seems out of place with this scenerio. Like she only sees that SHE wants him and taking advantage of the girlfriend not caring. So she gets him again and again and decides she loves him only for him to back off because he isn't interested in her that way.
Why doesn't his girlfriend care? Maybe she gave up on him because he is cheating with other girls and OP isn't the only one.
OP is already calling him her boyfriend.
I think there is more to the story than OP may even know

Alty · Jul 22, 2009, 08:17 PM

Wow, just found this thread.

Even I wasn't as bad as to lose my virginity to my friends boyfriend over a spin the bottle game. Wow!

Slut fits, sorry.

The past is the past, the future is in your hands. Start to act responsibly or you'll suffer the consequences. Trust me on this one.

sweet1028 · Jul 22, 2009, 10:34 PM

From the best friend's side of the story, she might have said she forgave you, but she hasn't. I've been in her shoes, my man cheated on me after we were together for about 6 months, took the girl's virginity also, and I would never in my life forgive that slut because she knew he was taken. Your friend wants to forget about it, no it's been over 4 years now and I haven't forgot ANYTHING!

If my BEST friend would do that to me, wow, there would no friendship period. Strictly enemies. Because if she was actually my best friend drunk or sober she would never have gotten with my boyfriend and thennnn want to do it again and send him texts about it after she apologized to me. Are you really serious?

You need to realize girl that there are women in this world and I have to say me being one of them, that would really put a hurting on the girl that messes with their men.

I hope that it makes you feel really good that you lost something very special (your virginity) to your best friend's MAN. You seriously need to think things over for awhile, you have lost your mind!