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rcdan · Jun 25, 2009, 12:01 PM

My wife and I are going to get a divorce. We are amicable and agreeable. We have a 3 year old son and have decided and agreed on joint physical custoday. We have also agreed on neither spouse paying child support. We plan to spilt daycare and other costs and I will maintain health insurance. If both parties agree, is this likely to be accepted by the court?

Justwantfair · Jun 25, 2009, 12:04 PM

Courts will usually honor agreements by both parties.
Are your salaries fairly comparable?
Do you have attorneys? Are you working with one?
Do you have a parenting time schedule that you have both agreed to?

You will be agreeing to joint physical & legal custody.

rcdan · Jun 25, 2009, 12:06 PM

Thanks for the response Justwantfair. There is a little bit of difference in out salaries. Mine is 45000 and wife's is 35000.

Justwantfair · Jun 25, 2009, 12:13 PM

I probably edited after you viewed the response. I would think that a court would honor such an agreement, as you are both agreeing to it.

Stay posted, this would be from my personal experience in Family Law and the way I have seen Illinois court system work. The experts and others will confirm if this is typically the case with child support and joint custody. In Illinois it is 20% going both ways, the difference paid by the higher breadwinner while splitting all outside medical costs and daycare expenses. But your agreement seems fair in your situation. By Illinois statute that would mean a child support payment of approximately $38.46/wk.

stevetcg · Jun 25, 2009, 12:13 PM

Originally Posted by rcdan

Thanks for the response Justwantfair. There is a little bit of difference in out salaries. Mine is 45000 and wifes is 35000.

That's like a 20% difference... so if she chooses to disagree on the support issue at any time in the future, she might be able to fight for the difference in support. Many states will take half the difference and split it into weekly or similar payments. (or 10k difference, halved = 5k over 52 weeks or ~$100/wk)

But if you both agree on it, the court is not interested in forcing anything on anyone that was happy with what they had.

ScottGem · Jun 25, 2009, 12:26 PM

The only thing I would add here is that, at 3 years old, joint physical custody is not a problem. But once the child reaches school age it can be come a major issue if the parents don't live in the same school district. At that point, one parent is likely to become the primary custodial parent. At that point an adjustment in support may be necessary.

Justwantfair · Jun 25, 2009, 12:30 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

The only thing I would add here is that, at 3 years old, joint physical custody is not a problem. But once the child reaches school age it can be come a major issue if the parents don't live in the same school district. At that point, one parent is likely to become the primary custodial parent. At that point an adjustment in support may be necessary.

It is definitely difficult as they age, with schools and stability. Try grounding a child who is here one night, gone the next, as just one of numerous examples.

All decision-making requires excellent communication, compromise and understanding without bitterness, hurt or anger. You have to have an ability to focus only on the child's best interests. Most divorcées can't offer that.

cdad · Jun 25, 2009, 12:45 PM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

Thats like a 20% difference... so if she chooses to disagree on the support issue at any time in the future, she might be able to fight for the difference in support. Many states will take half the difference and split it into weekly or similar payments. (or 10k difference, halved = 5k over 52 weeks or ~$100/wk)

But if you both agree on it, the court is not interested in forcing anything on anyone that was happy with what they had.

I have to disagree with the figures as presented. The problem I have is that a factor was left out. If the OP is keeping the child on the health plan and the mother isn't then that is worth something. So that's the missing link that brings balance to the puzzle chain.

stevetcg · Jun 25, 2009, 12:54 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

I have to disagree with the figures as presented. The problem I have is that a factor was left out. If the OP is keeping the child on the health plan and the mother isnt then that is worth something. So thats the missing link that brings balance to the puzzle chain.

Well sure. Its also dependent on the state. The point I was trying to make is that 10k is not an insignificant difference and may be a factor... not the actual math. Its never that easy.

cdad · Jun 25, 2009, 01:06 PM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

Well sure. Its also dependant on the state. The point I was trying to make is that 10k is not an insignificant difference and may be a factor... not the actual math. Its never that easy.

I know.. trust me.. lol

Maybe what the U.S. needs is a uniform code for child support across the board. And to change the tax codes so child support is deductable again. Then it would make things for figuring it out a lot easier.

jenniepepsi · Jun 25, 2009, 01:18 PM

From the way it sounds, you have done everything right, and it sounds like you and your wife are both mature and responsible adults with great communication skills. This is a GOOD thing. And while I'm sad for your situation, I give kudos to you both for dealing with the way you have.

Everything should work out fine. Like has been said, the time for school may change things. But again, if you can both agree, it shouldn't be difficult to come to an arrangement.

Good luck hon