[Katzim04]

I was living in the state of Maine. He was 18-19 I was 14-15. We conceived a child. I made some very poor choices and was drunk and high at the time. What is the statute of limitations in the state of Maine to prosecute the offender.

[stevetcg]

Is he more than 5 years older than you?

1. A person is guilty of sexual abuse of a minor if:

A. The person engages in a sexual act with another person, not the actor's spouse, who is either 14 or 15 years of age and the actor is at least 5 years older than the other person. Violation of this paragraph is a Class D crime; [2001, c. 383, §21 (amd); §156 (aff).]

[ballengerb1]

Not a lawyer either but from what you say I do not believe there is a limitation due to your age. Title 15, §3105-A: Statute of limitations

[Katzim04]

Is he more than 5 years older than you?

1. A person is guilty of sexual abuse of a minor if:

A. The person engages in a sexual act with another person, not the actor's spouse, who is either 14 or 15 years of age and the actor is at least 5 years older than the other person. Violation of this paragraph is a Class D crime; [2001, c. 383, §21 (amd); §156 (aff).]

He had just turned 19 and I was a month away from being 15.

[stevetcg]

He had just turned 19 and I was a month away from being 15.

There you go then... less than 5 years. (4 and a few months). I do not believe it was a crime. However, as ballengerb1 pointed out, there is no statue of limitations, so I would double check with the district attorney's office to make sure I didn't miss anything. The statues as pretty convoluted and full of double negatives.

Is there a reason you are looking to do something about this now?

[Katzim04]

There ya go then...less than 5 years. (4 and a few months). I do not believe it was a crime. However, as ballengerb1 pointed out, there is no statue of limitations, so I would double check with the district attorney's office to make sure I didnt miss anything. The statues as pretty convoluted and full of double negatives.

Is there a reason you are looking to do something about this now?

I've been seeing a therapist to resolve past demons... He thinks that it would bring some closure.

[stevetcg]

I've been seeing a therapist to resolve past demons... He thinks that it would bring some closure.

Fair enough. The reason I ask is a lot of times when we get this question the reason is about revenge, and frankly, there are usually better ways to deal with THAT.

Past demons... I can understand and relate.

Unfortunately, I don't think this is a route that you will be able to pursue. Ive read the laws through a few times now to make sure I have it all and I am 99% sure that it wasn't a crime. But like I said... check with the DA's office because I am not a lawyer and very well may have missed something.

[ballengerb1]

I do not see how getting the guy in trouble with the law will help with your therapy.

[jenniepepsi]

I agree with ballengerb1, I was raped when I was 11, and he was 19, and I never told anyone until 2 years ago when I was 22, and my therepist said I needed to move on and let it go, NOT go looking for him to get him in trouble, it would only bring those demons back 10 fold.

But every therepist has a different style I suppose.

I don't see how going after this man will help you. It won't take away what he has already done to you, it won't make it better. It MIGHT make it worse beign that in a trail you would be forced to relive it over and over again.

Good luck hon.

[Katzim04]

Fair enough. The reason I ask is a lot of times when we get this question the reason is about revenge, and frankly, there are usually better ways to deal with THAT.

Past demons... I can understand and relate.

Unfortunately, I dont think this is a route that you will be able to pursue. Ive read the laws through a few times now to make sure I have it all and I am 99% sure that it wasnt a crime. But like I said... check with the DA's office because I am not a lawyer and very well may have missed something.

Even though I was under the influence of alcohol? I only remember bits and pieces. I don't remember consenting to it. I could have, but I just don't remember. I did tell him no prior to this incident. But, later consented because I felt worthless and discusted with myself.

[Katzim04]

i agree with ballengerb1, i was raped when i was 11, and he was 19, and i never told anyone untill 2 years ago when i was 22, and my therepist said i needed to move on and let it go, NOT go looking for him to get him in trouble, it would only bring those demons back 10 fold.

but every therepist has a diffrent style i suppose.

i dont see how going after this man will help you. it wont take away what he has already done to you, it wont make it better. it MIGHT make it worse beign that in a trail you would be forced to relive it over and over again.

good luck hon.

That's what I told him. I don't want to relive the details. We do have a child and that makes it hard enough.

[stevetcg]

Even though I was under the influence of alchohol? I only remember bits and pieces. I don't remember consenting to it. I could have, but I just don't remember. I did tell him no prior to this incident. But, later consented because I felt worthless and discusted with myself.

That makes it a different ball of wax... however... it is going to be awfully difficult for the DA to prove coercion by substance (I believe that was what the law stated) without any physical evidence. In addition, that makes this not about statutory rape anymore (sexual abuse of a minor is the actual legal term here)

Another factor to the alcohol is that if you knowingly consumed it.

3. It is a defense to a prosecution under subsection 2, paragraph A, that the other person voluntarily consumed or allowed administration of the substance with knowledge of its nature, except that it is no defense when the other person is a patient of the actor and has a reasonable belief that the actor is administering the substance for medical or dental examination or treatment. [1989, c. 401, Pt. A, §4 (rpr).]

Or in other words, if you knew you were drinking and you knew what alcohol does (reasonable to assume a 15 year old would), the alcohol does not factor in.

The one thing that does factor is your previous assertion that you wouldn't. After all, no means no.

This is really something you need to be discussing with a legal authority. You can either consult with a private attorney familiar with ME laws or the district attorney's office, who can actually do something about this.

Bottom line is that regardless of your reasons, there does not appear to be a SOL on this.

[jenniepepsi]

That's what I told him. I don't want to relive the details. We do have a child and that makes it hard enough.

Then hopefully your therepist understands your feelings on this and won't push the issue. If not, you might be better off seeing a new therepist, who will respect your wishes.

UNLESS the event is causing MAJOR mental trauma and Post partum depression or vivid nightmares, or anythign else that may interfere with your life directly resulting from your rape. In which case, your therepist may be correct about needing closure. But I would think this would involve a SUPERVISED conversation with him (supervised by a police officer) which can sometimes help with closure, especially if the offender has gotten help and feels REAL remorse about what he has done.

Sorry to be rambling.


*edit* stevecg is right, the fact that you don't remmeber, and you were drinking makes it a totally different situation. I doubt that even if you DID go after this person, it wouldn't do any good.

[ScottGem]

Even though I was under the influence of alchohol? I only remember bits and pieces. I don't remember consenting to it.

Doesn't matter, you were under the age of consent, so legally you could not give consent.

However, it is he a part of you and your child's life now? If so, then I would not open this can of worms for your child's sake. It would seem that this was not a predatory situation where he is likely to abuse some other child. So I see no real good coming from it. I think you can find your closure in other ways.

[stevetcg]

Doesn't matter, you were under the age of consent, so legally you could not give consent.

However, it is he a part of you and your child's life now? If so, then I would not open this can of worms for your child's sake. It would seem that this was not a predatory situation where he is likely to abuse some other child. So I see no real good coming from it. I think you can find your closure in other ways.

It doesn't appear that she was under the age of consent. In Maine, if I am reading it right, the age of consent is 14 if the partner is less than 5 years older.

[ScottGem]

It doesnt appear that she was under the age of consent. In Maine, if I am reading it right, the age of consent is 14 if the partner is less than 5 years older.

I checked the Maine law and clearly the age of consent is 16. What you are referring to is the rules for prosecution. I agree that since the older party was not 5+ years older at the time of the sexual activity, then he can't be prosecuted under Maine law. But that doesn't mean she was still legally able to give consent. If the older person was more than 5 years older then they could prosecute so she would be deemed not old enough to give consent. Therefore, she is under the age of consent.

[Katzim04]

Doesn't matter, you were under the age of consent, so legally you could not give consent.

However, it is he a part of you and your child's life now? If so, then I would not open this can of worms for your child's sake. It would seem that this was not a predatory situation where he is likely to abuse some other child. So I see no real good coming from it. I think you can find your closure in other ways.

Not as much as I'd like a father to be in the life of his child. But, you are right about not dragging my kiddo through it.

[Katzim04]

then hopefully your therepist understands your feelings on this and wont push the issue. if not, you might be better off seeing a new therepist, who will respect your wishes.

UNLESS the event is causing MAJOR mental trauma and Post partum depression or vivid nightmares, or anythign else that may interfere with your life directly resulting from your rape. in which case, your therepist may be correct about needing closure. but i would think this would involve a SUPERVISED conversation with him (supervised by a police officer) which can sometimes help with closure, especially if the offender has gotten help and feels REAL remorse about what he has done.

sorry to be rambling.


*edit* stevecg is right, the fact that you dont remmeber, and you were drinking makes it a totally diffrent situation. i doubt that even if you DID go after this person, it wouldnt do any good.

Well, that's just it. I've been having vivid dreams lately that have to do with what happened. It's putting a strain on being intimate with my husband. But, that's a whole other discussion.

[ScottGem]

Well, that's just it. I've been having vivid dreams lately that have to do with what happened. It's putting a strain on being intimate with my husband. But, that's a whole other discussion.

And is your husband the father of the child? If not, is he aware of the history?

[jenniepepsi]

*sorry, misunderstood, edit*