[I wish]

After she finished work and I ignored her texts all day she phoned and I answered and she was talking to me normally finding out if I had any plans, and when she found out i did she said aw i was going to come see you for a bit, so she decided too anyway, so she came up we talking fine, she told me she still wore my hoody, and then we were still talking but she said you can't text me after this and say i love you and stuff so i dont get it?

That's what I'm trying to say. Everyone is going to tell you to move on, but obviously you're extremely confused with her and you want answers.

We're just going in circles. And you're going in cricles with her too. You got to sit her down and get some straight answers out of her. Be the man and take charge.

[l8onjones]

That's what I'm trying to say. Everyone is going to tell you to move on, but obviously you're extremely confused with her and you want answers.

We're just going in circles. And you're going in cricles with her too. You gotta sit her down and get some straight answers out of her. Be the man and take charge.

She's on of these people who can't sit down and talk though
So I'm not sure what I should do

[liz28]

If you can't have a open talk with her I don't know how you ever planned for this to last.

[l8onjones]

I didn't see it coming to this
That's the problem
She's having a go at me now for talking to a friend of hers
Because the two weren't speaking at the time

[talaniman]

Trying to find logical conclusions, to illogical circumstances, is an exercise in utter futility. The more contact you have, the more you will NOT get it.

[l8onjones]

I just don't know what to do, we try the whole space thing and he keeps texting or ringing, what am I meant to do?
I can't work this out, why the constant need to ring me or text me? Surely if we are going to be friends I've I don't return her text for a while it doesn't matter, and what was the need to ring 3 times within 20 minutes?

[talaniman]

Your about to learn very valuable lesson in standing up for yourself, and not let people play games with you.

Send a strong message that your through with the BS, by ignoring them, until they learn some respect. That may mean letting them be mad, but that will be their problem not yours.

Its you who must look out for yourself, because clearly they will not.

[l8onjones]

Today she rings me to say she made a mistake, but whilst having a go at me for talking to her friend, now she's still speaking and I said what's wrong? And she said me, and I asked why and she said she can't stop crying

[l8onjones]

And she sent me a picture from my Facebook with me with my arm round a girl, what's that all about, she said I look happy and she hates hurting

[talaniman]

Keep letting her play head games with you, and let me know how that works for you.

[l8onjones]

I received this text today after asking for space
Can anyone understand it?

Was just going to tell you I really care about you two. Depression affects everything I do, think and say, it stops me sleeping,eating smiling, feeling anything but hurt thinking rationally, it stops me wanting to be around. That's the main reason I need to be on my own depression, it lets me concentrate on myself and stops you hurting like I am, I understand you need your space so ill wait for you

[l8onjones]

I had this text after she said she hopes I find someone good enough for me I'm fab, it said no someone new, I don't understand what I want or what makes me happy. You need 2 find a girl who will make you their whole world and not hurt you.

After that I received this text after just general chit chat and it said she keeps staring at me so lucy was like what is your problem? Huff, sorry I haven text you sooner ill tx you later on shall I? Love u

But later that night the whole friends thing pop its ugly head up, and then she was texting me so I just ignored it she rang me, I ignored it, then I had a text saying Can I speak to you before I go to bed, So I rung her she was saying nothing so I asked her why she asked me to ring if she wasn't saying much, so she went, she kept ringing me after about 3 calls I answered and She asked why I hadn't answered and I said that I just didn't answer, now she's made no contact
Is this a good move considering the depression?

[I wish]

You shouldn't have called her back. It's just giving her false hope too. You really need to stick with no contact. No more replying to anything sends you.

Otherwise, you will reset all the recovery progress.

[l8onjones]

False hope of what though? I'm really struggling not to ring or text

[l8onjones]

Threads merged and edited.

Right bascially this got rather long winded before and probably will again but here goes,

Me and my ex have now broken up 3 times for no apparent reason, we'll scream and shout at each other say we never want to speak again but 20 minutes later she'll text and everything will be fine.

But here comes the complicated part, we'd been broken up a week and a half and she kissed another guy at his house, I found out and wasn't impressed she wouldn't tell me anything about it, because id found out off other people and she wasn't happy.

Yet she talks to my mate about everything so she explained it all to him in the hope he could find some way to tell me because she finds it difficult explaining her emotions but basically she told my mate she kissed the other guy because she hates loving me, because she thinks she's too much trouble and it'll end up hurting me, but when she kissed him she realised I'm the only person she could have feelings for and she had made a massive mistake.

So last night we were on the phone talking and it was like when we first met I loved it and she did too laughing joking, all the seriousness had somehow gone away, and that lead to her getting off the phone and saying she loved me, and texting me this morning saying she loved me and now wanting to come stay

I just wonder am I making the right move or could it all go wrong again?

[dreamingartist]

You are me 5 years ago. My relationship lasted 8 years. We broke up for 20 minutes many times. We would just skip over the resolution and go for sex, or intimacy, or companionship... but nothing ever got resolved.

[talaniman]

You will be in the same boat as you were before. Make up, to break up!

[l8onjones]

This scenario has developed even further where it happens she says she doesn't know what she wants then she wants me, she said she doesn't want to settle down then she asked could we move in together.

She says to leave her alone but she always gets back in contact with me I just don't understand it, My friend had a go at her and told her a few home truths and she said she wanted to be with me but now she's playing games again by ignoring me etc

What am I meant to do?

[kctiger]

Go live your live and quit playing stupid a$$ games with her. Are you her dog? NO! Leave her and her immaturity to someone else.

[N0help4u]

She sounds like she is not ready for anything but deep down she wants you but not ready.
She may be stringing you along because she doesn't want to lose you. But more importantly she sounds co dependent. Like she needs to know where you are going and what you are doing and then she bases that on what she is going to do. Like if she calls and asks what are you doing maybe hoping you will say you were thinking of asking her if she wants to go out tonight. Instead you say something like I am going out with the guys.
So now she knows you have plans that do not include her so she feels crummy about sitting in the house thinking about how you are out and she is home alone. So she decides she is going out because she needs to get out of the house even though she doesn't feel like going out.

I think she is co dependent, rather immature and uncertain of what she really wants in life.