[juxtaposition]

I'm 15 and I've been depressed and have been cutting myself for a little more than a year. My family is great, just they're always talking about my brother and his baseball and ignore me. My aunt and uncle have a new baby so they're caught up with that too. My friends don't really want to talk to me, but I think that ones my fault. All the people I've gotten close to have disappeared from my life one way or another. I have a couple friends I talk to but we only talk about superficial/shallow things and I have to pretend to love life. When I almost killed myself a few months ago, my parents got me into therapy but it hasn't helped me at all. I don't feel right anywhere. It feels like I'm unwanted everywhere I am and the world would rather have me dead. My best friend, the only person I could really talk to about everything, committed suicide in April. I don't know what to do. I don't want to kill myself because I don't want to do that to my family, but I'm out of options and I feel really alone... sorry for the depressing question... thanks.

[wendystoney]

To the young 15 year old please don't kill yourself. You are a lonely person who is sad and missing her bet friend. I think all teenagers go through something like what you are feeling, I know my 2 kids did. I'm sure your parents love you very much, maybe they don't know how to talk to you about your problems. If you go to school talk to a teacher councler, or if you have a church go talk to someone there. Your life is worth living and you shouldn't be hurting yourself, you must be hurting very bad to be doing that to yourself. I really don't think cutting yourself helps out how you feeling inside. If you have been hurt or abused by an adult there is help out there, I will even give you my e-mail address so you can e-mail me whenever you need a friend or someone to talk to. There is a reason god put you on this earth you may not find out why for awhile, I know you are loved and there is someone who will be there for you. Please don't hurt yourself anymore.

i'm 15 and i've been depressed and have been cutting myself for a little more than a year. my family is great, just they're always talking about my brother and his baseball and ignore me. my aunt and uncle have a new baby so they're caught up with that too. my friends dont really want to talk to me, but i think that ones my fault. all the people i've gotten close to have disappeared from my life one way or another. i have a couple friends i talk to but we only talk about superficial/shallow things and i have to pretend to love life. when i almost killed myself a few months ago, my parents got me into therapy but it hasnt helped me at all. i dont feel right anywhere. it feels like im unwanted everywhere i am and the world would rather have me dead. my best friend, the only person i could really talk to about everything, committed suicide in april. i dont know what to do. i dont want to kill myself because i dont want to do that to my family, but i'm out of options and i feel really alone.... sorry for the depressing question... thanks.

[thegreygoose]

I'm 16 and a girl...
I basically went throgh the same thing
After a bad breakup I got depressed and basically went crazy, everyday was a struggle
I barely woke up enough to get to skool on time..
I became anarexic and addicted to diet pills, only after I got bored of cutting myself...

I hate to say it but there's only 2 things I can think of
1.) get a best friend to talk to (but that probably won't work)
2.) stop caring... its not healthy but I works.

I chose #2, & now I'm a raving .
U may think I'm miserable and have no friends but it's the exact opposite.
Since I act this way I have some of the realist friends I know...
When I met strangers the can ask me almost anything and I'm most likely to tell them the truth.
It will take a while just don't commit suicide...
My best friends went through the same thing and tried to OD on pain meds
She failed,
But she screwed up her life even more than before.
Now she's a total whore, she's addicted to almost every drug and uses her "friends".

If you need help just e-mail me [email protected]

[thegreygoose]

How about experienced helping the unexperienced

[mudweiser]

I'm 15 and I've been depressed and have been cutting myself for a little more than a year. My family is great, just they're always talking about my brother and his baseball and ignore me.

Have you talked to your parents about this? I'm sure once you express your feelings about how your feeling left out and unappreciated they will realize what they are doing.

my aunt and uncle have a new baby so they're caught up with that too.

Yes a new baby always changes things. Have you tried offering some help? Maybe even babysit for them- I'm sure they need help with a newborn and even the gesture would be appreciated.

my friends don't really want to talk to me, but I think that ones my fault. All the people I've gotten close to have disappeared from my life one way or another. I have a couple friends I talk to but we only talk about superficial/shallow things and I have to pretend to love life.

How is it your fault? Have you tried talking about "deeper" things? Do you "hang out" often. Never pretend to be someone your not, always be yourself.

when I almost killed myself a few months ago, my parents got me into therapy but it hasn't helped me at all. I don't feel right anywhere. It feels like I'm unwanted everywhere I am and the world would rather have me dead.

If that were true your parents wouldn't have put you in therapy, in fact they wouldn't have cared at all. How did you "almost" kill yourself? Did someone stop you or did you stop yourself? Are you still going to therapy?

my best friend, the only person I could really talk to about everything, committed suicide in April. I don't know what to do. I don't want to kill myself because I don't want to do that to my family, but I'm out of options and I feel really alone... sorry for the depressing question... thanks.

I can see why you feel the way you do. You feel ignored and maybe even alone. I'm sorry your going through a rough stage in your life.

What is it that you do all day? Are you active or do you sit in front of the T.V. or P.C. all day? I know school is out for the summer why not try to become more active. You can volunteer, get a part time job, or even start a hobby [i.e. painting, poetry, writing a book, etc].

Hope you write back soon.

Sarah

[taoplr]

i'm 15 and i've been depressed and have been cutting myself for a little more than a year. my family is great, just they're always talking about my brother and his baseball and ignore me. my aunt and uncle have a new baby so they're caught up with that too. my friends dont really want to talk to me, but i think that ones my fault. all the people i've gotten close to have disappeared from my life one way or another. i have a couple friends i talk to but we only talk about superficial/shallow things and i have to pretend to love life. when i almost killed myself a few months ago, my parents got me into therapy but it hasnt helped me at all. i dont feel right anywhere. it feels like im unwanted everywhere i am and the world would rather have me dead. my best friend, the only person i could really talk to about everything, committed suicide in april. i dont know what to do. i dont want to kill myself because i dont want to do that to my family, but i'm out of options and i feel really alone.... sorry for the depressing question... thanks.

I have felt some of the same things. My Dad died when I was 13, and I went into depression but didn't know it. It took a while, but I made it through. It's normal for you to mourn the loss of your best friend, and it's normal for you to recover and move on.

Talk to your family! Tell them what you are experiencing and what you need from them! Don't wait. Don't hold back. Don't be nice about it. Go for what you need before even thinking about cutting yourself again.

You might be surprised to know that you are not out of options. Your primary "database" might be out of options, but when you come to the natural end to this phase of your life—which I agree is miserable in its lack of attention and inspiration—you will find that unexpected and previously unimagined choices will become available to you. Once you get through this phase, you will actually be relieved to find yourself looking in new directions where you will find other data sets.

Among your options is the option to pull back from thoughts of suicide, and to replace cutting with practices that bring you much closer to fulfilling your true nature. There are transformative practices that change your experiences from a meaningless series of events that fail to touch you, into rich, deep, and exciting experiences that pump your blood and awaken your brain. Take some time to find them and learn them.

As hard as it might seem, you can trust your positive desires. Don't trust the ideas that you are unwanted. The world needs you. Your family needs you.

The great inventor, Buckminster Fuller, said that "there is nothing about a caterpillar that tells you it is going to be a butterfly." Like the butterfly, there's no way that you can see your next phase of discovery and growth until it arrives. Keep your senses tuned to the openings. Expect to be pleasantly surprised.

Talk to your parents! You'll be glad that you did.

Tao

[Clough]

Hi, juxtaposition!

I hope that you return to this thread!

If you would like to participate, I have an activity that I like to do with people on this site. Doing it might help you to feel better about yourself and other things.

If you would like to know what it is, and maybe participate in it, please let me know on this thread.

Thanks!

[briannekayleen]

I don't know you... but I love you. Don't kill yourself just the way you are. I know a lot of people don't believe in God. But I do. And I think you need him. He is the only way. I promise you he will help you. He said ''come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest''. He truly will. He did to me. All you have to do is believe there is a God. Kneel down and ask him to help you not to be depressed. He loves you

[carly381]

I'm 15 and I have been in the same situation as you for about 3-4 years now.. from my experience the only thing that has seemed to make any sort of effect on me is throwing myself into life as far as I can. My mum has 6 kids.. 4 are disabled and my sister has always got a lot more attention then I have so I have constantly felt alone. I lost my friend also but not to suicide, we have been forbidden to see each other, since then I have been in pieces but I have had a lot of support from my fiancé, I've found that having someone there as close as that has helped.

Hope its helped even if only a little.

[juxtaposition]

Hi, juxtaposition!

I hope that you return to this thread!

If you would like to participate, I have an activity that I like to do with people on this site. Doing it might help you to feel better about yourself and other things.

If you would like to know what it is, and maybe participate in it, please let me know on this thread.

Thanks!

Sure, what is it?

[juxtaposition]

Have you talked to your parents about this? I'm sure once you express your feelings about how your feeling left out and unappreciated they will realize what they are doing.

Yes a new baby always changes things. Have you tried offering some help? Maybe even babysit for them- I'm sure they need help with a newborn and even the gesture would be appreciated.

How is it your fault? Have you tried talking about "deeper" things? Do you "hang out" often. Never pretend to be someone your not, always be yourself.

If that were true your parents wouldn't have put you in therapy, infact they wouldn't have cared at all. How did you "almost" kill yourself? Did someone stop you or did you stop yourself? Are you still going to therapy?

What is it that you do all day? Are you active or do you sit in front of the T.V. or P.C. all day? I know school is out for the summer why not try to become more active. You can volunteer, get a part time job, or even start a hobby [i.e. painting, poetry, writing a book, etc].

Hope you write back soon.

Sarah

I don't like talking to my parents. I mean, I have tried and it just doesn't work out and instead, leaves me very frustrated.
I babysit her all the time, especially when her parents are at work. I love her to death. I don't have anything against her at all. I guess I'm just jealous, which I shouldn't be.
Yes, I have tried MANY times to talk about deeper things. It never works out. I always lose my friends. People don't like people that talk about "serious" stuff. I have lost so many friends because of that I don't want to lose any more.
I was going to and then I guess it was more of a "cry for help" because I called one of my friends who stopped me basically. He called my parents, went to the school counselor, etc. after that, he was done. He basically handed me off and didn't want anything more to do with me, which is fine. I am still going to therapy but the therapist sucks and I hate him. Fortunately, I'm going to get another one but probably not until the end of the summer.
I can see why you feel the way you do. You feel ignored and maybe even alone. I'm sorry your going through a rough stage in your life.
I'm trying to get myself a summer to-do list to keep myself busy and I hope that will work out. Thank you so much for writing back! I really appreciate it!

[ImInLoveWithHim]

im 13 and my parents seem like they dont want me around or even care for me...but they honestly do..they just dont always have the time..i had a boyfriend..the one and only person i could talk to but hes 16 going on 17 and my parents made us break up!! i feel like im alone in the world and nobody is here to comfort me...but i promise that your life will change! just give it some time...i have cut myself a couple times, i thought i would never do it...but i did! all my friends disowned me because of it..and everyone got pissed at me...but now i just ignore everyone

[Shikha29]

i'm 15 and i've been depressed and have been cutting myself for a little more than a year. my family is great, just they're always talking about my brother and his baseball and ignore me. my aunt and uncle have a new baby so they're caught up with that too. my friends dont really want to talk to me, but i think that ones my fault. all the people i've gotten close to have disappeared from my life one way or another. i have a couple friends i talk to but we only talk about superficial/shallow things and i have to pretend to love life. when i almost killed myself a few months ago, my parents got me into therapy but it hasnt helped me at all. i dont feel right anywhere. it feels like im unwanted everywhere i am and the world would rather have me dead. my best friend, the only person i could really talk to about everything, committed suicide in april. i dont know what to do. i dont want to kill myself because i dont want to do that to my family, but i'm out of options and i feel really alone.... sorry for the depressing question... thanks.

Hey... first of all.. Start loving yourself.. once you do love will automatically come your way.. life is beautiful.. believe me.. and you are among the lucky ones to have one.. do one thing.. follow a hobby.. as far as I believe painting and music are the key to be in love with your life again.

Paint whatever you want.. bring out all your imaginations to paper and put colors to them... while doing that listen to soft music.. instrumental music is advisable... talk to your parents about your feelings.. parents are gods gift to a child.. they are vents to your troubles... they will surely help you to come out... no therapy no medicines can help a person to be strong... you need to get hold of your life and make it colorful...

Reply to me.. I would very much like to talk to you and solve your problem...

Learn to be happy, you will find the world to be a happier place...

[taoplr]

I don't like talking to my parents. I mean, i have tried and it just doesn't work out and instead, leaves me very frustrated.
I babysit her all the time, especially when her parents are at work. I love her to death. i don't have anything against her at all. i guess im just jealous, which i shouldnt be.
yes, i have tried MANY times to talk about deeper things. it never works out. i always lose my friends. people don't like people that talk about "serious" stuff. i have lost so many friends because of that i dont want to lose any more.
I was going to and then i guess it was more of a "cry for help" because i called one of my friends who stopped me basically. he called my parents, went to the school counselor, etc. after that, he was done. he basically handed me off and didn't want anything more to do with me, which is fine. i am still going to therapy but the therapist sucks and i hate him. fortunately, im going to get another one but probably not until the end of the summer.
I can see why you feel the way you do. You feel ignored and maybe even alone. I'm sorry your going through a rough stage in your life.
im trying to get myself a summer to-do list to keep myself busy and i hope that will work out. thank you so much for writing back! I really appreciate it!

One thing that must happen is getting your parents to understand that you need a better therapist, plus their attention in a better way than get now, and to learn how to communicate with you. It's yours to tell them.Wait for the right moment, and speak up.

About losing friends because you want to talk about deeper things, it sucks for sure. You will be pleased to find that with every year that you mature you will meet more people who are capable and eager to talk with you at those levels. Prepare yourself and be patient.

Move. Get exercise. Let it go for a while.

[basketballlover]

Listen, never commit suicide. It sound like everyone is saying that but life isn't worth giving up. Even when your life seems like its hit rock bottom, don't forget that there are others with the same problem. Me included. I too once had thoughts of committing suicide but trust me it isn't worth it. Why kill yourself when there is just so much more out there. Even though it doesn't seem like it at the time there is always hope. Find friends that you really connect with. Find someone you can be yourself with. What are some talents you have? Just don't forget you are never alone. Is there anyone you trust or someone you can talk to? Please respond to this.

[raychi]

Please don't kill yourself! I'm sure you really nice inside. Try and think about happy memories and hide anything that you can use to self harm yourself. Then you can't be tempted.

[knightbl50]

I hope your day has been a better one. I want to tell you that you are special and very valuable. You've been depressed and even suicidal, but I promise things will get better. During times of depression, it doesn't seem that things can get better, but they will. I'm a parent myself, and although it doesn't seem fair that your parents aren't giving you the attention you crave, they do love you. I hope you can sit down with them and tell them how you feel, without a bitter result. Remember that today is a new day, a new beginning. Yesterday is gone, and today you can begin making your life better. Choose friends that cause you to feel good about who you are. Don't listen to people who are negative about what you can accomplish in life. You have great potential, and going through these hard times will help you to be sensitive to the hurts of others who are going through the same thing. Believe that you will do great things and never forget that you are loved more than you know, even if you don't feel loved or lovable. Feelings are just feelings. We have feelings for a reason, but we can't forget that our feelings are not always right. I hope you have a blessed rest of your weekend. Try to stay encouraged and don't give up. Things will get better, although you probably don't believe that right now. Stay safe.

[juxtaposition]

listen, never commit suicide. it sound like everyone is saying that but life isnt worth giving up. even when your life seems like its hit rock bottom, dont forget that there are others with the same problem. me included. i too once had thoughts of commiting suicide but trust me it isnt worth it. why kill your self when there is just so much more out there. even though it doesnt seem like it at the time there is always hope. find friends that you really connect with. find someone you can be yourself with. what are some talents you have? just dont forget you are never alone. is there anyone you trust or someone you can talk to? please respond to this.

No, there isn't anyone I can trust or talk to. No one really wants to hear it. All the times I have tried to talk to my friends I end up losing them and hurting myself. I don't really have talents... although that just sounds like I'm being modest, I actually don't. Thank you for responding, though, I really appreciate it. I am trying my hardest to have an optimistic outlook on life and to stop myself from trying to talk to people when I feel the need to and instead play guitar or something. So, all in all, I think it will be OK. I just need to try harder, especially when I miss people or experience any sort of pain.

[taoplr]

No, there isn't anyone i can trust or talk to. no one really wants to hear it. all the times i have tried to talk to my friends i end up losing them and hurting myself. i dont really have talents... although that just sounds like i'm being modest, i actually dont. thank you for responding, though, i really appreciate it. i am trying my hardest to have an optimistic outlook on life and to stop myself from trying to talk to people when i feel the need to and instead play guitar or something. so, all in all, i think it will be ok. i just need to try harder, especially when i miss people or experience any sort of pain.

Well, you have people here who will join you in talking about anything and everything that comes up in you. You don't have to try harder; you just have to remember that you are free to chose how you manage yourself, and how you approach life. That freedom grows every day. You simply need to learn the skills and get the experiences that will allow you to make your life what you want it to be. Take one step at a time.

Tao

[basketballlover]

Listen I know this will sound a bit weird and different but I would suggest talking to someone at kidshelpphone. You don't know who you are talking to but that can also be a great way to let how you are feeling come out. And the people are really nice. I know you don't know me but trust me, I know the position you are in. I'm even about the same age as you. I actually thought the same about not being able to talk to anyone. I was even turned away by several psychiatrists. Now that is sad. Keep your hopes up. And find something you love to do. It can be anything. It was basketball for me. And now I'm a rep player. And this is going to sound weird but if you ever need someone to talk to I'm available. I'm not a stalker or anything. You can make up whatever you want but I know what its like to be hurt and to be in pain. And I know that I was always wishing that someone would offer to talk with me. I mean, after being turned away by a couple of doctors because I have too complicated a case didn't help. All I'm saying is that I'm just a teenager who has experienced a lot of pain and I've found that it doesn't help to keep my pain to myself. Its healthy to talk about it. So if ever you feel you can't talk to someone, you'll know you now do. I just want to help if you need it.