[Hassan26]

This has been going on for a few years I've not spoken to anyone about it, including my wife although she knows something is wrong.

I sometimes end up drinking so much, and spending all the money we saved I will sometimes get this thing is my head that I need to go out so I do and I get drunk then I end up spending all the money. About a week ago I spent £1,000 which was my wife's money she still does not know I've taken it as it was placed in my account. I've told her so many times not to leave money near me I end taking it, I always put the money back. But this time I've spent too much, and I am not getting enough work.

I also get panic attacks and paranoid I can't face anyone I feel so scared and depressed I just want to end it all.

I've never been violent to my wife while drunk I have a relatively high tolerance level at worst I pass out or fall a sleep.

But I can't open up to my wife about my problems - the only time I maybe would open up is in the morning when I am coming off the drink - but she does not really talk to me, as she is angry with me and I so much want her to talk to me so I can tell her about my problems and make a commitment to her to get help. But once a few days pass and I am feeling happy one day - I'll end up doing the same thing. I am not physically dependent on it, but I am dependent on the drink emotionally at times.

Don't get me wrong, I've drank in moderation too in the past, something like a quarter of vodka in 2 hours and I've had a good experience, but now its become harder to do that, I mean sometimes I am so drunk I wake up drunk the next morning - and don't eat for days - I am 26 years old male I am about 5'11 and I weigh only 7 stones I've lost a lot of weight, and my eye-sight has gone real bad I can't see much - it's the vodka making me go blind.

But I am also under peer-pressure to drink my friends also do this, they get kicked out of the house, have no money or job, and I wish they would leave me alone I want to be more of a husband to my wife and have fun with her without drinking, but they keep calling me and almost harassing me to come out drinking with them.

[Fr_Chuck]

It takes making or taking a stand, change friends, if you have to change jobs to get away from them, do it.

And start going to counseling, it is hard, but it can help.

[Hassan26]

Yes, I have made a real intention of doing something about it, I really, really want to change, I think its time to grow up, and take some responsibilities - the only fear I have is my friends they are very aggressive and pretty brutal and antisocial I am scared they might actually try to attack me physically or it could just be my paranoia.