Check out some similar questions!

snjhandyman · Jun 20, 2009, 04:25 AM

Quick story 1st: Girlfriend left her husband/3 kids in Florida to start relationship w/me in NJ about 2 years ago. Living together fulltime, past November became pregnant; talks of marriage, house, etc.. Now w/6-7 weeks until due date, while visiting kids in FL, she states she misses her kids/old life and may decide to move back after birth. Baby will (fingers crossed) be born in NJ, my name will be on birth cert... I do not want to be away from my child for any period. I do have full custody of my 14yr old; as far as parenting/environment, I'm sure I'm not deficient in any way. Where she wants to reside will be w/husband/kids, sharing same home, who has previously threatened to murder me, blow up my vehicle, and has been ordered by NJ judge to have no further contact w/me. Also have taped conversations of him threatening me. Hoping these issues would make that environment not conducive to being acceptable. Any help, is appreciated. Thank you, Jack

stevetcg · Jun 20, 2009, 04:48 AM

Once the child is born you need to establish paternity. At birth, you are NOT the legal father of the child since she is married. NJ law might be specific on this if you sign an acknolegement of paternity, but each state differs and the ones I have read require the husbands acknoledgement also. I would get a lawyer now, don't wait. There may be orders that you can file that will prevent her from leaving the state with the child.

cdad · Jun 20, 2009, 07:47 AM

Did your girlfriend divorce her ex ? You didn't make that clear. Depending on that status your situation and outcome can be very different.

snjhandyman · Jun 20, 2009, 12:38 PM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

Once the child is born you need to establish paternity. At birth, you are NOT the legal father of the child since she is married. NJ law might be specific on this if you sign an acknolegement of paternity, but each state differs and the ones I have read require the husbands acknoledgement also. I would get a lawyer now, dont wait. There may be orders that you can file that will prevent her from leaving the state with the child.

Thank you, waiting on divorce, soon, praying before birth because a husband does have legal right in that respect, but I'll be the one in hospital, my last name on BC etc.. guess once born I can possibly? Restraining order of sorts to prevent from leaving state. Prob is she decides to stay here w/ me then that sets a very ugly precedent, now doesn't it. Shouldn't worry though, because how you say, blood is thicker than water. Women come and go, it's the boy who'll always be a part of me.

rookie231 · Jun 20, 2009, 01:19 PM

You are missing the point, you will not be on the Birth Certificate if she is still married at birth.
You cannot get a "restraining order of sorts" to prevent her from leaving the state, until you are legally established as father by court/DNA, AND have been given custody rights of child.

snjhandyman · Jun 20, 2009, 02:30 PM

Apologize if I'm unsure here, 1st time and all, appears that her divorce will be the factor in my future w/my son. Once we expedite that, assuming done before birth, than my rights as parent will begin, if this correct, thank you for all input.

stevetcg · Jun 21, 2009, 01:00 PM

Your rights are not dependent on her divorce. Her divorcing just makes it easier. Your rights are determined by the court. Regardless what happens with her divorce, within a few days of the hcild being born, you need to file for paternity and joint custody.

Once you file, it should prevent her from leaving the area with the child, pending the outcome of the custody hearing. It might not be automatic though, so get a lawyer.