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Rize · Jun 5, 2009, 03:42 PM

Have you ever hurt someone who has truly cared about you and left them ? In any way I mean. Have you ever regreted it and wish you hadn't done that? If so how?
:)

woodacres · Jun 5, 2009, 04:20 PM

Originally Posted by Rize

have u ever hurt somone who has truely cared about you and left them ? In any way i mean. Have u ever regreted it and wish you hadn't done that? if so how?
:)

Yes, I have, not trying to be mean, but I once had this one terrific boyfriend whom I was suppose to marry but being young and stupid, I chose a different path. 24 years later, I have regretted it so much. I often wonder how different my life would be and that of my child. He was one terrific human being.

scott_1976 · Jun 6, 2009, 02:15 PM

I left my kids 1 & 3 at the time because their mother was obsessed with me and making the kids life hell because I wanted a divorce. I thought if I cut myself out of the picture they could possibly have a chance at a semi stable childhood. Most painful thing I have ever done and I am haunted by them everyday of my life! Not to mention being labeled as a dead beat dad! I wouldn't wish this situation on my worst enemy!

mudweiser · Jun 6, 2009, 02:34 PM

A lot of people make those decisions because it was good at that time. I'm sure if that person truly loved you they would "take you back".

However, decisions, bad or good are made throughout life to help you with the next obstacle life throws at you.

Why spend your life regretting something? I would much prefer thinking of a "mistake" as a life lesson, something I can teach others and improve myself with.

If you spend your time mulling then you'll live your life as a lonely mull.

Sarah

Nestorian · Jun 6, 2009, 02:42 PM

Yeah, myself...

tropiko · Jun 7, 2009, 02:13 AM

You are mean and rude, u idiot I would kill samaonee that so bad as you!!

woodacres · Jun 7, 2009, 09:37 AM

Originally Posted by tropiko

nobody ever cared about me so there was nobody i can hurt

Tropiko: I don't think you're rude, I just think you're one lonely individual. Sorry, no one cared about you? That's because you get what you give. So I guess that means you never cared about anyone else either. - :(

woodacres · Jun 7, 2009, 09:39 AM

Originally Posted by scott_1976

I left my kids 1 & 3 at the time because their mother was obsessed with me and making the kids life hell because I wanted a divorce. I thought if I cut myself out of the picture they could possibly have a chance at a semi stable childhood. Most painful thing I have ever done and I am haunted by them everyday of my life! Not to mention being labled as a dead beat dad! I wouldn't wish this situation on my worst enemy!

Scott: But do you still have a relationship with your children? - Children should know they were not the cause, they are still loved and You are there for them unconditionally. Children need both parents to balance themselves.

woodacres · Jun 7, 2009, 09:41 AM

Originally Posted by mudweiser

A lot of people make those decisions because it was good at that time. I'm sure if that person truly loved you they would "take you back".

However, decisions, bad or good are made throughout life to help you with the next obstacle life throws at you.

Why spend your life regretting something? I would much prefer thinking of a "mistake" as a life lesson, something I can teach others and improve myself with.

If you spend your time mulling then you'll live your life as a lonely mull.

Sarah

Mudweiser: Thank you for the words of wisdom shared.:)

scott_1976 · Jun 7, 2009, 09:52 AM

Originally Posted by woodacres

Scott: But do you still have a relationship with your children? - Children should know they were not the cause, they are still loved and You are there for them unconditionally. Children need both parents to balance themselves.

I never loved my ex-wife, we got married when we were 19 and we were stupid. I got to the point where I could not live a lie anymore so I said I wanted a divorce. She got completely crazy! To the point of me fearing she would do something rash! I knew the only way she would focus on the kids well being was me being completely out of the picture. I pay child support, I pay for the kids health insurance, I also miss them horribly. I get updates on them through my Grandma who still see's them. People love to judge and that's fine I can take it. I know I did this out of my love for my kids and wanting the best for them!

woodacres · Jun 7, 2009, 10:32 AM

I'm sorry things didn't work out for you. I don't judge you as when we are young, we do foolish things (not thinking future). - Hope your kids will eventually understand that it was the best thing to do for the sanity of all. Time will heal the hurt; and as long as the kids know you didn't abandon them; you have a chance at recouperating your relationship with them later one. Good luck.

tropiko · Jun 11, 2009, 12:10 PM

You can't hurt yourself

Nestorian · Jun 11, 2009, 04:40 PM

Tropiko, when one does not pay attention to one's needs, and to one's suffering, and is only focused on another's needs; That is painful, and as if I hurt myself and abandond myself, both emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, even my reckless behaviours took a toll on my body.
So yes, you may not believe that is hurting yourself, but I know from expereience, it sure as hell does hurt. For any one else that doesn't think you can hurt yourself, just ask yourself, do I love myself, forgive myself, respect myself, know myself, thus allowing me to BE myself? If you can't answer yes to all of those, then it is highly porbable that you are suffering or hurting yourself needlessly.

So do yourself a favour and take care of yourself.

Peace and kindness be with you.