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    aprilskids's Avatar
    aprilskids Posts: 5, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Jun 5, 2009, 12:51 PM
    How do I prove myself a better mother than there drunk dad?
    I recently went to court for custody of my three kids and the judge ruled aganst me because I couldn't give him any reason why my kids should be moved from the marital home.My husband and I were granted our divorce but he got custody even though he has had 4 drunk drivings and 2 of them were in the last 2 years. I live a hour and a half from my kids dad and in April my middle son wanted to live with me and the father said it was all right so he came and started school here and got on the baseball team raised all his grades up and is doing awsome. My 3 year old daughter was also staying full time with me and going to her dads every other weekend with her brother. Now the father went back on letting them live with me,what can I do I am already in the middle of the appealing I was just wondering what I could do to help my chances.I am letting him keep our oldest son who is 12 because he absolutely will not change schools and I don't want to force him... thanks, sorry it's so long!
    stevetcg's Avatar
    stevetcg Posts: 3,693, Reputation: 353
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    #2

    Jun 5, 2009, 12:59 PM

    Help your chances by getting a lawyer. They ruled on this already so it is going to take something VERY compelling for them to change their mind now.
    aprilskids's Avatar
    aprilskids Posts: 5, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    Jun 5, 2009, 01:18 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by stevetcg View Post
    Help your chances by getting a lawyer. They ruled on this already so it is going to take something VERY compelling for them to change their mind now.
    Are pictures good for court because he told the judge he quit drinking and doesn't go to the bar?
    stevetcg's Avatar
    stevetcg Posts: 3,693, Reputation: 353
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    #4

    Jun 5, 2009, 01:20 PM

    If he lied to the judge, yeah, that won't play well for him.
    cadillac59's Avatar
    cadillac59 Posts: 1,326, Reputation: 94
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    #5

    Jun 5, 2009, 04:49 PM

    I have to wonder why the kids ended up with dad in the divorce. Not that that's unusual, but this is a modification request and the court is probably looking for some reason, some change of circumstances as it is sometimes called, to change custody over the dad's objection. If the dad is a hopeless boozer, then that's a pretty good reason to change custody but when did all this drinking start? Was he hitting the bottle back when the divorce was ongoing? Why wasn't this brought up then? And 4 DUI's, 2 in the last year? This guy's a nightmare.

    I don't know what to say other than request a custody evaluation perhaps (I'm sure the dad is saying he's so clean and sober now that he's ready to head-up the local MADD chapter... you know how that goes, and maybe the judge believed him).
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #6

    Jun 5, 2009, 07:28 PM

    Did you present his driving record to the court, did you provide documents perhaps a PI following the ex proving he drove drunk with the kids in the car, or he was drunk when watching them.

    You have to prove he was a danger to them.

    You do it by proving what you are saying, not just saying it.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #7

    Jun 6, 2009, 06:08 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by cadillac59 View Post
    I have to wonder why the kids ended up with dad in the divorce. Not that that's unusual, but this is a modification request and the court is probably looking for some reason, some change of circumstances as it is sometimes called, to change custody over the dad's objection. If the dad is a hopeless boozer, then that's a pretty good reason to change custody but when did all this drinking start? was he hitting the bottle back when the divorce was ongoing? Why wasn't this brought up then? And 4 DUI's, 2 in the last year? This guy's a nightmare.

    I don't know what to say other than request a custody evaluation perhaps (I'm sure the dad is saying he's so clean and sober now that he's ready to head-up the local MADD chapter...you know how that goes, and maybe the judge believed him).
    Here is where I tend to think that on a national scale its not quite as rosey. I realize this is about 10 year old study but it does show that it is unusual for fathers to get custody. Take a look.

    Children & Divorce
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