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Lonelyandbroken · Jun 3, 2009, 11:11 AM

Originally Posted by totallylost07

thanks.. i have all the photos and stuff animals and other stuff she has given me... we are have a bonfire at the beach on the 27th... maybe i should just burn it all there..

Sounds like a good plan.

totallylost07 · Jun 3, 2009, 11:14 AM

Sigh... this sucks

Romefalls19 · Jun 3, 2009, 11:17 AM

Read my signature, I've been where you are. It does suck, but its better. A lot better

totallylost07 · Jun 3, 2009, 11:21 AM

I remember when my friend (before going to the army) we did the same thing... just the memories, 7 years... I have a small lock box of pictures of my past ex.. maybe ill just throw one picture in there and burn the rest...

Should I give it back to her? The albums and stuff? I want to just burn it all but I don't know if I'm going to regret it..

Romefalls19 · Jun 3, 2009, 11:23 AM

Nope, it's pictures. Save a few, put them in a box and tuck it away. Get rid of the rest, if she wanted them, she would have asked

totallylost07 · Jun 3, 2009, 11:31 AM

Bonfire it is.. stuff animals OK to burn? Don't want to die from the smell lol

Romefalls19 · Jun 3, 2009, 11:33 AM

Yep they are good, and funny to burn actually. Or if it's legal, buy some fireworks

totallylost07 · Jun 3, 2009, 11:43 AM

Not in cali... 3 weeks from now.. so far...

totallylost07 · Jun 3, 2009, 02:10 PM

I forgot to add what happened yesterday... her parents love me.. so I went to say thanks and goodbye because I could not do this anymore...

My ex called me and told me that we can work on this for my sake.. and that she is just trying to find herself.

But after she talked to her family, she called me text me back that she is sorry and won't be trying to work this out anymore. That she isn't happy and can't or won't be able to forgive herself even if I was able to. I told her if she had that much so say then she should have said it in person and not over text. That I thought I deserve more respect then a text for our 7 years together...

Such a coward, I don't know why but I expected more than that.. but after all it is coming from a lying cheater.. I need to some how get that through my head and move on...

Lonelyandbroken · Jun 3, 2009, 02:14 PM

Originally Posted by totallylost07

i forgot to add what happened yesterday... her parents love me.. so i went to say thanks and goodbye because I could not do this anymore...

my ex called me and told me that we can work on this for my sake.. and that she is just trying to find herself.

but after she talked to her family, she called me text me back that she is sorry and won't be trying to work this out anymore. That she isn't happy and can't or won't be able to forgive herself even if I was able to. I told her if she had that much so say then she should have said it in person and not over text. That I thought I deserve more respect then a text for our 7 years together...

Such a coward, i don't know why but I expected more than that.. but after all it is coming from a lying cheater.. I need to some how get that through my head and move on...

Yeah man just keep that in your head. That's what I tell myself. That I deserved more than a breakup I'm. If someone can treat me that way I'm better off. I don't like cowards I deserved better.

totallylost07 · Jun 3, 2009, 02:59 PM

You I'm trying to tell myself that.. I should force myself to see this (talk into the mirror or something lol).

And tell myself this.
"I am worth it to be happy with or without this person in my life. I need to live for me and not for them or anyone else because they are doing it for themselves."

Lonelyandbroken · Jun 3, 2009, 03:02 PM

Originally Posted by totallylost07

ya im trying to tell myself that.. i should force myself to see this (talk into the mirror or something lol).

And tell myself this.
"I am worth it to be happy with or without this person in my life. I need to live for me and not for them or anyone else because they are doing it for themselves."

Well you do deserve to be happy. But you got to learn what truly makes you happy by yourself. Only you can make yourself happy. You can't expect or depends on someone else to do that for you. Once you know how to make yourself happy. Then relationships add to that but are not the sole foundation of it.

taoplr · Jun 3, 2009, 03:47 PM

Originally Posted by totallylost07

thanks.. i have all the photos and stuff animals and other stuff she has given me... we are have a bonfire at the beach on the 27th... maybe i should just burn it all there..

In India, they have a ceremony called a puja. They put symbolic objects into a fire and release their attachment to them.

Just a thought...

Tao

totallylost07 · Jun 3, 2009, 05:26 PM

I hope that is true because its all going in the flames

Lonelyandbroken · Jun 3, 2009, 06:04 PM

Originally Posted by totallylost07

i hope that is true because its all going in the flames

Good for you. At least you'll be able to stay warm and entertain some friends around it.

Survivor07 · Jun 3, 2009, 06:36 PM

The bonfire will be a great healing experience. I've done it and it was sooo fun.

Your pain is very fresh, so how you're feeling is natural.

You want to walk out of this with your head held high. Like Lonely said, be the man; walk away and be happy. Your happiness, without her, is the best revenge.

Got to put my two cents in about your need to tell the wife: DON'T. She probably either already knows and is struggling with it or she knows and doesn't care. Maybe they have an open marriage. Maybe she stays with him for the money. Who knows and who cares. It's not your problem, so don't make it a problem. Just stay out. You don't want to wind up being a witness in divorce court!

Trust me, those two will crash and burn on their own. Do you really think your ex is going to want him forever? You know she's not the only one he's cheated with. Your ex will learn the hard way. It's the path she's on.

You're going down a different path, without her, where new and exciting things await you!

You mourn your loss and heal and after the pain subsides, you will start to feel excitement, adventurous. The unknown can make us anxious, but it's all in your attitude. Look forward to your future and who and what will be in it!!

totallylost07 · Jun 3, 2009, 07:32 PM

Dude.. I think I scared off their relationship. Because she told him it was done and over. And he wanted to end it too because he found out that I know. I should have left it alone that they can both suffer in the end. But instead, I helped her learn a lesson. And he gets off.. Life works in a funny way...

Now that I think about it.. I was in the ER a few weeks back and he was rough with my nuts... I told her but she didn't say anything. Because I did not know that they had an affair. So I did not think of it... Debating if I should just file a complaint. Because that is not ethnically to examine the boyfriend of the person you are cheating with.. I don't know.

totallylost07 · Jun 3, 2009, 10:49 PM

Such a debate... self-conflict is a witch.. I want to report him for this but at the same time, I think I should walk from this.

The irony of this, my ex from before this one (2years) is back. I think she wants another go, but I don't think I'm ready for any relationship at this point. Its weird how this works out. 8 years from the time we last dated, and she is back... I guess girls to realize what they once had when its gone.

totallylost07 · Jun 4, 2009, 01:36 AM

Here is my blog story.. randomness... I changed some of the numbers and location..

Lonelyandbroken · Jun 4, 2009, 08:19 AM

If you file a complaint now it will just look like your trying to hurt that guy again. I say just let it go.

Sometimes people do tend to come back to what is familiar to them. But not always. But who really know's. Just be careful about the ex combing back to you.