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totallylost07 · Jun 2, 2009, 11:18 AM

Eff it... I'm going to just destroy everything.. I don't care anymore.. I still so empty and black inside...

Lonelyandbroken · Jun 2, 2009, 11:29 AM

Originally Posted by totallylost07

i know you guys are right... but i just want to burn it all down then walk away... because Idk if I can be that bigger person. They are so heartless, it feels like they stole my soul from me. Without a soul, wth should i care what they think... maybe after I burn everything down I can move on. Because there is nothing else I can do.

Right now, I have so many options. If I burn it all down I wont have anymore options, but to move on. I know if I let everyone know what a shady person she is, then she will never come back to me. That might be what I need.

sigh...just like my sn: totally lost

Aww your not alone in feeling that way. I'm dealing with that right now. But you can burn the bridge without actually setting fire to it. Just do it in your mind. IF that is how that girl is she's probably going to do it again to someone else. Even if you teach her a lesson with you. She'll prob do it to some other guy.

Just burn the bridge down in your mind. Tell yourself she isn't worth the effort. And why should you help her out by teaching her a lesson. Let her learn the hard way. The best revenge is for you to truly find happiness. Let her bounce from guy to guy. She'll never be happy that way. But right here right now you can make the choice to be a man. Learn to let it go and walk. It'll server you far better down the road.

totallylost07 · Jun 2, 2009, 11:48 AM

I have always been about the action. I just got kicked in the balls, and all I'm going to do is get up and walk away...

Lonelyandbroken · Jun 2, 2009, 12:03 PM

Originally Posted by totallylost07

i have always been about the action. i just got kicked in the balls, and all im going to do is get up and walk away...

Right!! Man get up laugh in there face and walk off. The action is saying you silly fools you can't hurt me. Nice try but I got better things to do.

talaniman · Jun 2, 2009, 04:32 PM

Real MEN take the right actions, at the right time, because it needs to be done. Not because his balls are hurtng!

totallylost07 · Jun 2, 2009, 05:11 PM

She warned him that I would tell his wife.. so I guess there is nothing I can do anyway.

Ren6 · Jun 2, 2009, 05:33 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Real MEN take the right actions, at the right time, because it needs to be done. Not because his balls are hurtng!

Yes! I had to spread the rep around before I could grant you more, Tal...

Lonelyandbroken · Jun 2, 2009, 05:35 PM

Originally Posted by totallylost07

she warned him that i would tell his wife.. so I guess there is nothing i can do anyways.

Right hopefully that's good enough for you. Now lets move onto you healing.

taoplr · Jun 2, 2009, 05:59 PM

Originally Posted by totallylost07

she warned him that i would tell his wife.. so I guess there is nothing i can do anyways.

I've been out of this conversation for a while, and just picked up your thread. If I can offer a thought, it seems that a big part of your issue is power. You lost power when she took the initiative to leave. She took that decision away by making it. If you feel, and it sounds like you feel, like evening the score, "burning it all down," taking action, exposing her, will that ease your pain and make you more powerful?

If so, does that power express itself as control? Do you think about controlling the situation? How much destruction will it take for you to regain a sense of control? Once you have it, what will you do with it? What do you really want to do with it?

If taking action won't give you power, though, what will it give you? Once you get that, what happens next?

And, in all of this, who pays?

totallylost07 · Jun 3, 2009, 02:31 AM

I just don't know anymore what I want or need... I just don't know... I "lost my soul to a woman so heartless..."

I just need to find my way to heal... I told her that I will let it all go, if she wants to work with it.. but its doesn't matter.. she is so heartless and selfish.. I just don't know what I'm thinking...

kimy08 · Jun 3, 2009, 02:45 AM

You deserve to know the truth not from anyone else but from her.

totallylost07 · Jun 3, 2009, 08:24 AM

I think you are right that I have no control over anything...

totallylost07 · Jun 3, 2009, 08:33 AM

What should I do with all the stuff? I just want to burn or trash it all.. because I know that this will never be again...

Lonelyandbroken · Jun 3, 2009, 08:35 AM

Originally Posted by totallylost07

what should I do with all the stuff? i just want to burn or trash it all.. because I know that this will never be again...

Do what every you want to with it. But just get it away from you. Box it up stick it somewhere. Burn it if it will make you feel better. Send her crap back. Do whatever it takes.

totallylost07 · Jun 3, 2009, 10:24 AM

I don't know why I'm taking this so hard, when she wronged me so badly... its like I'm in an abusive relationship but can't get away from it.. wth... I think that someone is a physical abusive relationship should just get up and leave... but look at me I'm in a mentally abusive relationship but I can't move from this...

susangpyp · Jun 3, 2009, 10:39 AM

You can move from this. You just have to make up your mind and do it.

Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right said Henry Ford.

If you think you can't get past it then you won't. You have to be positive and decide that you are getting past it!

Romefalls19 · Jun 3, 2009, 11:02 AM

Here's what to do about her stuff

1. Go get 2 30 packs of beer
2. Call over a few friends
3. Build a fire pit
4. Burn her sh!t
5. Drink beers around her burning sh!t with your buddies

taoplr · Jun 3, 2009, 11:03 AM

Originally Posted by totallylost07

i think you are right that I have no control over anything...

You have no control over her, but you can manage yourself better by exercising your choices (control is a misunderstood word) whether to hang on and suffer or let go and feel empty but free.

In that empty place you can find stillness, quiet, maybe not yet peace, but something better than the churning and turning you are going through.

Bottom line: let the tears flow and then be done. If you can't, put in some quality time with a therapist. There could be lots of growth in you as a result of this experience.

Know that you will recover.

Tao

There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.
-Leonard Cohen, musician (1934- )

totallylost07 · Jun 3, 2009, 11:08 AM

Thanks.. I have all the photos and stuff animals and other stuff she has given me... we are have a bonfire at the beach on the 27th... maybe I should just burn it all there..

Romefalls19 · Jun 3, 2009, 11:11 AM

DO IT! My cousin(in the ARMY) told me every soldier has a "burn box" which is filled with stuff no one else sees except for him and his platoon. So he told me, treat it the same way. You wouldn't want you new girlfriend to find stuffed animals and pictures of you kissing your ex. Burn it all, and have a good time with it. I know I did