[goodgirl92]

Hi :) I have a friend who feels a lot like you do. Except she has fights with her mum, isn't allowed to liive with her dad, and barely talks to her brother or mother in fact. Like you, she takes ages to get to sleep, and she wakes up at 4ish nearly every morning too. I just tell her that she can always talk to me about anything, and yh, I've offered to go with her to a group or soemthing, but she doesn't want to. Like many other viewers. I suggest trying to find some sort of sporting team or youth centre around. You can't give up cause you live in the country - that's not a good enough reason. There would deff. Have to be a church around. Maybe see if they have a youth group. That's a great way to meet new people, and they will most likely have some similar views to you. Its not only good little christian kids that go to youth groups, its average and under priveledged kids too. The good thing is that everyone gets along and gets into talking with each other and worshiping and all that jaz. You might not like singing and such, but it is a good way to meet people. The group might even go for hikes, play games, go to see concerts, anything. Some might even go skateboarding etc. things that you might be interested in.
Also, I'd suggest not listening to the music you listen to before bed. If its making you upset and depressed then its not good music. Listen to songs that have good endings or calmer relaxing songs. Maybe have a nice hot bath before bed or something. Think about nicer things too. Try not to focus on all the bad things in life. Sometimes when I find myself heading towards bad thoughts, I stop myself and just think about all I really have. A warm bed at night, food, clothes, a house, etc.
You're NOT a nobody.. no-one is. Everyone has their own purpose, we just have to find it. If you go around the school smiling and saying hi to a few people that pass you, then other people will want to go up and talk to you. Maybe sit next to someone who sems nice in class. Talk to them. Go up to a nice looking group at lunch and say hi. Don't sit in the back of the classroom where no one can see you. Its pointless. Get in there, be active, you CAN do anything if you believe in yourself.
Sorry this was long, but I hope it helped a bit :)

[Clough]

Hi, avenged_11!

I do hope that you return and respond here!

Thanks!

[avenged_11]

Hi, avenged_11!

I do hope that you return and respond here!

Thanks!

Sorry Guys but I have Finals Starting Friday plus trying to get a job and fix my truck, plus I still don't know what I want to be after high school therefore I can't pick a college!

(sorry)

[Clough]

Hi, avenged_11!

I'm sure that everyone here understands! Many of us have gone through the same things that you're going through, not only with life, but with education.

No problem! We can just continue things at a later date, if you're still interested.

Thanks!

[avenged_11]

hi :) i have a friend who feels a lot like you do. Except she has fights with her mum, isn't allowed to liive with her dad, and barely talks to her brother or mother in fact. like you, she takes ages to get to sleep, and she wakes up at 4ish nearly every morning too. I just tell her that she can always talk to me abotu anything, and yh, ive offered to go with her to a group or soemthing, but she doesnt want to. Like many other viewers. i suggest trying to find some sort of sporting team or youth centre around. you can't give up cause you live in the country - thats not a good enough reason. there would deff. have to be a church around. maybe see if they have a youth group. thats a great way to meet new people, and they will most likely have some similar views to you. Its not only good little christian kids that go to youth groups, its average and under priveledged kids too. the good thing is that everyone gets along and gets into talking with each other and worshiping and all that jaz. you might not like singing and such, but it is a good way to meet people. the group might even go for hikes, play games, go to see concerts, anything. some might even go skateboarding etc. things that you might be interested in.
Also, i'd suggest not listening to the music you listen to before bed. if its making you upset and depressed then its not good music. listen to songs that have good endings or calmer relaxing songs. maybe have a nice hot bath before bed or something. think about nicer things too. try not to focus on all the bad things in life. sometimes when i find myself heading towards bad thoughts, i stop myself and just think abotu all i really have. a warm bed at night, food, clothes, a house, etc.
you're NOT a nobody.. no-one is. everyone has their own purpose, we just have to find it. if you go around the school smiling and saying hi to a few people that pass you, then other people will want to go up and talk to you. maybe sit next to someone who sems nice in class. talk to them. go up to a nice looking group at lunch and say hi. dont sit in the back of the classroom where no one can see you. its pointless. get in there, be active, you CAN do anything if you believe in yourself.
sorry this was long, but i hope it helped a bit :)

Sorry it took me a while to reply to you but,

If you have ever heard the song, More than a Memory by Garth Brooks that is why I can't sleep at night. Its not that I don't want to go to sleep but its hard for me to and when I do all I can dream about is my ex girl friends and it just drives me insane. There is a church near by but they do not have a youth group it is more of a Elderly Church if you catch my drift. Plus I am some what of a christian means to me that I do go sometimes with my brother but I hate church, I believe that god is just a way to make humans take there mind off death. (I know that's stupid and not at all true but hey.) and here is a Quote for you to look up, Matthew 27:46 (thats how I feel about god!)

[Nestorian]

Sorry it took me a while to reply to you but,

If you have ever heard the song, More than a Memory by Garth Brooks that is why i can't sleep at night. its not that i don't want to goto sleep but its hard for me to and when i do all i can dream about is my ex girl friends and it just drives me insane. There is a church near by but they do not have a youth group it is more of a Elderly Church if ya catch my drift. Plus i am some what of a christian means to me that i do go sometimes with my brother but i hate church, i believe that god is just a way to make humans take there mind off death. (i know thats stupid and not at all true but hey.) and here is a Quote for you to look up, Matthew 27:46 (thats how i feel about god!)

We must be careful with how we think, for everything we experience, do, feel is all lead by mind, in essence; what we think we become.

If you allow yourself to consiously go back over your exs reminding yourself that what's done is done, and accept what has happened; you may find some small measure of peace there. I too dream about my ex, and the girls I've bin with since, but I find that only happens if I allow myself to slide into a stooper and become lost in past regret/pain.
You may even put of college until you get a solid foundation to hold you up. Why would you go out to some college if you aren't happy where you are? You can't run from these issues, they will go with you where ever you take them. Talking to a counselor or at least talking to some one with an idea of how these things work would be your first and most important step, regaudless your goals. You sound unhappy/unsaticefied/confused about what is really going on. We can't clime when we don't have a grip.

People may think that GOD will save them from death, but really what is death any way? Some say you simply stop exsisting, others say you have a spirit that is reborn as something else, others believe that your soul goes to heaven or hell, but no one really knows. Personally, I think we transform into something else, but I don't know for sure.

Perhaps you have been looking too hard for the answers and not listening for them. Your situation has many possible out comes, what one comes to pass is for you to decide. If you choose poorly, remember "there is always time to change the road your on."- Led Zeppelin.

Take care brother.

[jojomo]

I am certainly sorry to hear of your trouble and pain. Have you ever thought about going out and getting a job, that would be a good way to meet friends, that's were I met my boyfriend, plus I was able to talk with my other coworkers about different things. That way at least you'd have your own money, then you could go and apply for the drivers license on your own. You don't have to wait for your parents to decide whose going to do what for you. At some point you just have to do it for yourself, don't wait on others to help. Do it yourself and you will be happier. In life as you get older you will see that the only person you can count on is yourself. What about going in to the armed services. There's plenty of people to meet places to go, and definitely lost of girls/women. Goodluck to you.

[goodgirl92]

Going to church sometimes doesn't mean you're somewhat a christian, especially if you hate church. But that could just be cause there's no youth group. If you really feel how its written in that song, then you really need to get over her. Or them. They're not worth it if they dumped you for not wanting sex. I think they have a steriotypical view of guys.
You know what? If I lived where you do, I'd be your friend :) you sound nice. Just a little confused and upset. I agree with jojomo. Go out and get your license yourself. It feels better that way :) and getting a job helps too. It a bit of independence, and you get to meet new people. Just try to be more confident, you'll be 18 soon anyway. If you get a job, you can rent something when your 18 and then you won't have to worry about your dad. Try to smile :D

[watkins848]

Your life sounds a lot like mine, to be honest I'm moving in with my dad this summer because my mom is driving me insane, also she has favourites for my 2 sisters. My boyfriend broke up with me as well because I wouldn't have sex with him. And I listen to music and cry myself to sleep at night.

To be honest things that help me a lot are things that get my mind off, all the things that bother me... like I run a lot, and swim and try to get invovled with things at school.

As hard ad it may seem, focus on the good things about yorself rather than all the chaos happening around you.

It may seem like a very dark time for you, but there IS hope.
When all else fails God is there to help us in our times of need.

Also, find someone close to you who can understand how you truly feel, and can sympathise with you.

Hope this helps <3

[lafytafy05]

Hey there,
So let me start by saying I kept typing soooooooooo many things and erasing them all cause I don't know what to say to help you feel better.. ugh I have so many things I just can't organize them! I just want to reach through my computer and hug you and let you lean on my shoulder and cry if you want! Man. I feel the same way a lot though. I just transferred schools too and don't have many friends ither. And its catholic so everyone's from a different town. I went from the largest hs in NJ to one of I'm sure the smallest lol. You shouldn't hate yourself though. Don't let others opinions effect you! That's a hard thing to do-easier said then done I'm sure. I went to counsling to help me with everything I was going through though. Just talking helps. My older brothers also don't have half the responsibilities I do at 16 & there 22 & 21. They didn't have jobs this young ither! I know how you feel cause I have to pay for a lot. My moms actually probably the toughest on me. Let me just say though your not alone! Your never alone! And don't put yourself down just because you don't think you have a chance with a goodlooking person. They might even have self confidence issues to and not even think there good looking! I am sure a lot more people at school feel like you and you don't even realize it. I still can't even organize everything I want to say I just want to hug you and sit with you and let you talk all you want and be there for you :/ I hope something I said makes you feel better! If it doesn't u can yell at me. I am willing to always listen too ! :) everything will get better soon!

[avenged_11]

Hey there,
so let me start by saying i kept typing soooooooooo many things and erasing them all cause idk what to say to help you feel better.. ugh i have so many things i just can't organize them! i just want to reach through my computer and hug you and let you lean on my shoulder and cry if you want! man. i feel the same way alot though. i just transferred schools too and dont have many friends ither. and its catholic so everyones from a different town. i went from teh largest hs in NJ to one of im sure the smallest lol. you shouldnt hate yourself though. dont let others opinions effect you! thats a hard thing to do-easier sed then done im sure. i went to counsling to help me with everything i was going through though. just talking helps. my older brothers also dont have half the responsiblities i do at 16 & there 22 & 21. they didnt have jobs this young ither! i kno how you feel cause i have to pay for alot. my moms actually prolly the toughest on me. let me just say though your not alone! your never alone! and dont put urself down just because u dont think you have a chance with a goodlooking person. they might even have self confidence issues to and not even think there good looking! i am sure alot more people at school feel like you and you dont even realize it. i still can't even organize everything i wanna say i just wanna hug you and sit with you and let you talk all you want and be there for you :/ i hope something i sed makes you feel better! if it doesnt u can yell at me. i am willing to always listen too ! :) everything will get better soon!

(I reformatted my comp and lost the link sorry!) Well guys I felt better until now, my friends just came over and kept asking me about my "Personal Life" and it made me fell so bad. Plus I walked down the road with them to talk to some girls that we know at 1:30 in the morning and they left me high and dry... I don't know guys I want to Change leave this life... and move... but there is no where to turn... I want to talk to some one... I have been with my 19 year old brother but all he does is hang out with his girlfriend and it hits me like a low blow every time... I wrote a poem... its how I feel inside...


P.S. I went to a school of Max 300 to a school of 3-4 thousand...

Alone

In the dark alone, Alone waiting for you,
Waiting for you to notice me, to notice me for who I am,
The lonely witted person I have always been,
I walk alone into the world of darkness,
Ive been waiting for you so long but you never came,
Until the end but you never showed,
Even as I now burn in hell I am alone in the fiery pits,
You abandoned me and left me to strive by myself,
Maybe some day you might realize,
Realize what you personally have done to me,
The things that no one should have to live with,
The pain no one should have to live with,
The loneliness that no one should have to live with,
And then you might open your eyes one day,
And see that there is nothing but you,
As I saw there is nothing but me,
Nothing but a barren wasteland,
Like your trapped in a never ending desert,
And then as you are dying only one thought will be in your mind,
Me!