[artlady]

Good for you!!! if i dont remember, you have a wonderful birthday!!! x x x x

Just be around June 22 cusp of Gemini and cancer
CRAZY

My home home grown

[Clough]

Nice image, artlady! :)

[artlady]

Just be around June 22 cusp of Gemini and cancer
CRAZY

My home home grown

This is my plant ,nice or not ?

[artlady]

This is my plant ,nice or not ?

What ro puff up? Oh do my friend.

[Meow420]

Artlady you just spun me out.. didn't expect you to have a green thumb hahahaha :)

My mum is the 18th of June!

mwah x x

[artlady]

Nice image, artlady!! :)

Its New york plant:)

[artlady]

Artlady you just spun me out.. didnt expect you to have a green thumb hahahaha :)

My mum is the 18th of June!

mwah x x

I am am a Cancer/gemini cusp June 22 1954

[Meow420]

why it all his to be about him. like a typical youngster you are in this situation because you think you are helping him out, you are changing him and making him a better man, by giving up sleeping with prostitutes and start sleeping with you.

what about your own self, is this the kind of relationship you wanted for yourself. what if he is seeing you on monday seeing another one on tuesday and so on. he deceived his wife for 10 years whom he loves very much, can you imagine how he really thinks of you. why are you degrading yourself so much. am sure you deserve a lot better donot you?

No I do not think I'm exactly helping him out or making him a better man.
He absolutley could have a different girl every day of the week and that is fine. It is his life. I see other men all the time. I know what he thinks of me. He respects me by what he says to me and by how he acts with me. He MAY think I'm the biggest slut in the world and he MAY think he is onto a sweet deal, getting to have sex with me for free... But that doesn't matter. He treats me very well. How I want and EXPECT to be treated.
I do not feel I am degrading myself.

[artlady]

No i do not think im exactly helping him out or making him a better man.
He absolutley could have a different girl every day of the week and that is fine. It is his life. I see other men all the time. I know what he thinks of me. He respects me by what he says to me and by how he acts with me. He MAY think im the biggest slut in the world and he MAY think he is onto a sweet deal, getting to have sex with me for free....But that doesnt matter. He treats me very well. How i want and EXPECT to be treated.
I do not feel i am degrading myself.

Wow we stropped your thread! Sorry! Seriously!b;)

[artlady]

Chill baby

[Meow420]

Wow we stropped your thread! Sorry! Seriously!b;)

Lol its all good, please continue :)

My mum would be close to the cusp then yeah?

[Rich11111]

i think he does love her.. i think it is possible to love someone with all your heart but have sex with other people.

I agree with this statement, it is possible to love someone and have sex with other people. But only when it is all in the open.
It is not possible to truly love some and do it behind their back. It is straight forward betrayal.

[liz28]

I am in an exclusive relationship and I can't imagine him stepping out of our relationship. The minute he does I will be out.

If he wants sex then he should be having it only with me and not someone else because if he does he will be cheating. And a cheater can be trusted. Even though I love my fiancé I already know what I won't tolerant.

I look at my mom and dad relationship as an example. They been married for over 20+ years. I'm not going say they marriage been al peaches&cream because their relationship isn't perfect. However they work through their problems together. My father once told me "even though your mother gets on my nerves at time I can see I never stepped out of our marriage. I'm too scare anyone because she might kill me. hehe ".

So it is great to be in love and to have someone to love you back. It is great to have someone to share things with and who respect you and treats you live a queen. Open relationships aren't my thing because I not keen on sharing my man. He is for me and me only.

Hopefully counseling will change your views on relationships.

[martina59]

Yes you are horrible,

What a terrible & judgemental thing to say... ESPECIALLY given your title of "Christianity expert". Not sure just how you earned that title but what about "love the sinner, hate the sin"?

[Meow420]

I am in an exclusive relationship and I can't imagine him stepping out of our relationship. The minute he does I will be out.

If he wants sex then he should be having it only with me and not someone else because if he does he will be cheating. And a cheater can be trusted. Even though I love my fiance I already know what I won't tolerant.

I look at my mom and dad relationship as an example. They been married for over 20+ years. I'm not going say they marriage been al peaches&cream because their relationship isn't perfect. However they work through their problems together. My father once told me "even though your mother gets on my nerves at time I can see I never stepped out of our marriage. I'm too scare anyone because she might kill me. hehe ".

So it is great to be in love and to have someone to love you back. It is great to have someone to share things with and who respect you and treats you live a queen. Open relationships aren't my thing because I not keen on sharing my man. He is for me and me only.

Hopefully counseling will change your views on relationships.

I guess cheating can only be defined by each indivdual..
Cheating to me, is giving someone else your heart. An emotional affair. A physical affair does not worry me, offend me, upset me... but an emotional attacthment to another is crossing the line.

I congratulate you on finding your partner in life! Stand up for what u believe in and take no crap x x x

[Meow420]

What a terrible & judgemental thing to say...ESPECIALLY given your title of "Christianity expert". Not sure just how you earned that title but what about "love the sinner, hate the sin"?

Yeah I was guna say something about that comment when it was first made, but I didn't want to upset a religious man lol

[BlackVY]

yeah i was guna say something about that comment when it was first made, but i didnt want to upset a religious man lol

Lol! Never upset a religious man... he has friends in HIGH places... lol :p

[DoulaLC]

What a terrible & judgemental thing to say...ESPECIALLY given your title of "Christianity expert". Not sure just how you earned that title but what about "love the sinner, hate the sin"?

I took this as answering her question. She asked if she was horrible for doing what she was doing and he answered her that yes she was horrible.

[DoulaLC]

I guess cheating can only be defined by each indivdual..
Cheating to me, is giving someone else your heart. An emotional affair. A physical affair does not worry me, offend me, upset me.... but an emotional attacthment to another is crossing the line.

I congratulate you on finding your partner in life! Stand up for what u believe in and take no crap x x x

You don't think he has an emotional attachment to you after being with you for over a year... sharing intimate details of his marriage with you... having you help him understand his wife better... discussing his sexual additiction with you... you can talk to him about anything... and you say you have fallen for him. Sounds full of emotion to me.

Face it, you want your cake and to eat it too just as he does. You can keep him at arms length and see him when it is convenient for you to do so. You can have the "fun" without the full dynamics of a relationship. You aren't helping him, you are fueling his addiction just as if you were giving drugs to an addict, and sooner or later it will come to a head, his wife will likely gain knowledge of what has gone on... and you will have been a party to the likely demise of his marriage... which effects both of their families... and children they may end up having if you continue with this.

You wanted to know if it was wrong... well of course it is wrong since not all of the parties involved are aware of what is going on. You say you try to justify it by telling yourself that you aren't the married one, but you are aiding in this deception and by your own admission, you are doing so because it suits you and makes you happy... yes, that makes you selfish in this regard because you are thinking of yourself, your desires, your feelings, before anyone else.

You're fooling yourself, and trying to justify your actions because you are afraid of being exposed to a true relationship and the risks involved... this is safe for you, on your terms for the most part, free to come and go as you please, no one to answer to or consider, no real giving over of yourself.

I hope the counseling can help you discover why you are in this sort of a relationship, and why you feel the need to justify it.

Consider this: if it were a good place for you to to be, if it was a relationship you should be involved in, you wouldn't have to justify it to anyone... least of all to yourself.

[Jake2008]

Hmmmmm interesting thread!

Just to be the devil's advocate here, is it possible that the boyfriends marriage is still together because of the affair?

Don't jump on me here but consider that more than 50% of marriages fail. Are our expectations too unrealistic? Is it really a normal, or natural situation for two people to stay faithful to each other until the end of time? Are we expecting something that isn't really attainable?

Why do we morally judge anybody, when probably a good chunk of the posters here have had their own affairs, breakups, broken marriages etc. All are good people, but were the breakups all by 'immoral' means? Are those that stray 'immoral?' If what you bring to the relationship is based on total and complete fidelity, that is one moral judgment you decide to live by. But, others may not share those views.

If, just if, this were say, 30 years ago, and the man in this equation had an affair, or multiple affairs, surely they would have divorced.

But, here we are in 2009, and we still judge by the same old standards. Why is the other woman the one held accountable for the actions of the man, and his marriage. He is the married one, not her.

She is bright, articulate, independent, and knows what she wants. She protects herself, and isn't making any false or imagined promises as to a future with this man, because there won't be one, based on his history of affairs.

She does not sound to me that she is anything other than in complete control of herself, and her life. That she includes a man who happens to be married doesn't make her less than a moral person.

And, I don't believe for a second that his wife doesn't know he's had several women on the side. She would have to have the intelligence and intuition of a flea not to know her husband is cheating. Yet, it isn't a problem for her. It isn't a problem for him, and it isn't a problem for our OP.

So, if crossing the sexual affair, into an emotional attachment is becoming a problem, then it may be time to let him go. To develop love for someone who can never truly love you back, is an unhealthy emotional place to be in.

So, morals and judgments aside here, what is she doing that is so different from thousands of other people that do the same thing. Where one marriage may fail because of it, another might survive (such as this one).

If all needs are being met by all parties, what's the problem.