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    nekstlevel's Avatar
    nekstlevel Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    May 24, 2009, 09:26 PM
    Not talking enough
    Ok so I met a girl 2 days ago, we had fun at a party, kissed/made out whatever. We're both in our 20s. Then I go to her house today to meet her friends and it was all right, can't expect much or dazzle friends really well. So anyway, We end up back at her place and she says I don't talk enough. Like small talk, meaningless conversation. I mean we already covered the basics and formalities, like where you work, what you do for fun and that type of stuff. What else is there to really bull and talk about? You know?

    Is it my problem for not being super chatty? Or her problem for wanting me to talk like a madman all the time? Or is it just maybe not the right person? If we don't click, we don't click? I personally felt we clicked, so did she, just she didn't like how little I talk about things.
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #2

    May 24, 2009, 09:28 PM

    Hi, nekstlevel!

    What sort of things does she like and what do you like, please?

    You might be over-analyzing things some, if you don't mind my mentioning that.

    Thanks!
    nekstlevel's Avatar
    nekstlevel Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    May 24, 2009, 09:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Clough View Post
    Hi, nekstlevel!

    What sort of things does she like and what do you like, please?

    You might be over-analyzing things some, if you don't mind my mentioning that.

    Thanks!
    Well honestly, we're total opposites in that regard. I'm a sports fan, and enjoy outdoor activivies and stuff like that. She enjoys being girly with her friends pretty much and shopping, nothing too physical. Heh.

    I also am starting to think Opposites don't attract! Hah!
    nekstlevel's Avatar
    nekstlevel Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    May 24, 2009, 09:32 PM
    I forgot I should mention she, by nature is a real talker. And me I'm really more laid back and go with the flow type. I guess I'm a better listener/commenter than a trailblazing smooth talker.
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #5

    May 24, 2009, 09:37 PM

    How have you said things to her? Did she point out any particular things that she doesn't like other than she doesn't think that you talk enough?

    Thanks!
    nekstlevel's Avatar
    nekstlevel Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #6

    May 24, 2009, 09:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Clough View Post
    How have you said things to her? Did she point out any particular things that she doesn't like other than she doesn't think that you talk enough?

    Thanks!
    I've always said things to her so far very openly and clearly as possible! Even some nice pillow type talk during/after we were making out a few nights prior.

    No, she hasn't pointed anything out other then that. She likes, or liked me... We were just sitting on her bed, not really talking about anything at all. Then we both kind of came to the agreement that it's not good that we don't have a thing to talk about. And I left. And she didn't seem to care that I was staying or going. At all.
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #7

    May 24, 2009, 09:40 PM

    Well it sounds like you are already seeing some major differences in personalities, just because you have good chemistry, doesn't make it an ideal match for a relationship.

    Keep your options open and enjoy getting to know one another, no need to figure out your future. If you don't click, you can't force it especially by being someone you are not.
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #8

    May 24, 2009, 09:43 PM

    When and where is the next time that you're going to see her?

    Thanks!
    nekstlevel's Avatar
    nekstlevel Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #9

    May 24, 2009, 09:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Clough View Post
    When and where is the next time that you're going to see her?

    Thanks!
    As far as I know, never. And that's kind of how she seemed to feel also.
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #10

    May 24, 2009, 09:45 PM

    Wow! I'm sorry to hear that! What lead to that decision by the two of you?
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #11

    May 24, 2009, 10:00 PM

    Do you want things to continue with you and she?
    nekstlevel's Avatar
    nekstlevel Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #12

    May 24, 2009, 10:00 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Clough View Post
    Wow! I'm sorry to hear that! What lead to that decision by the two of you?
    It was pretty much just awkward silence, and she kept saying I don't talk enough. Then It was like OK I'm gone.
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #13

    May 24, 2009, 10:01 PM
    I'm sorry! I must have posted during the same minute that you did and I posted slightly before you did!
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
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    #14

    May 24, 2009, 10:24 PM
    I think that you probably have different conversation styles - you sound like a blokes bloke and she sounds like a girly girl.

    I would't sweat over it too much. I can honestly tell you that when you really click with someone you don't have to worry about talking too much or too little - it just happens.

    One thing to remember though regarding conversations - people always like people that are interested in them and they like talking about themselves. Even girls.

    Put it down to experience and get on with your life.
    nekstlevel's Avatar
    nekstlevel Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #15

    May 24, 2009, 10:47 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Gemini54 View Post
    I think that you probably have different conversation styles - you sound like a blokes bloke and she sounds like a girly girl.

    I would't sweat over it too much. I can honestly tell you that when you really click with someone you don't have to worry about talking too much or too little - it just happens.

    One thing to remember though regarding conversations - people always like people that are interested in them and they like talking about themselves. Even girls.

    Put it down to experience and get on with your life.

    Thanks, I think that is all very true. Good advice.

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