Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    none12345's Avatar
    none12345 Posts: 1,439, Reputation: 234
    Ultra Member
     
    #221

    May 13, 2009, 05:23 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ajGambino View Post
    Cool man, I drove my civic today... =/
    Cool man, I drove my bike today... OH I MEAN I RODE MY BIKE!! -_- lol be thankful you have a car =P XD
    JTS31708's Avatar
    JTS31708 Posts: 128, Reputation: 9
    Junior Member
     
    #222

    May 14, 2009, 11:40 AM

    Lol well I'm doing good so far I think she is trying to get me jealous in some way by putting away messages up on aim saying she is going out with her friend and a couple guys or writing something else lol. To tell you the truth I thought it would bother me but it doesn't at all. Ever since I put her name in my phone as Don't break NC, and delted her from myspace and Facebook I feel pretty good! How is everyone else doing so far?
    princess uniqua's Avatar
    princess uniqua Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #223

    May 14, 2009, 12:56 PM
    Well I think you should just leave her alone and let her come back to you and if she don't come back to you than there was no point and you relationship I think if she don't come back that was a signe 2 find somebody else


    PRINCESS UNIQUA:p
    jmw0713's Avatar
    jmw0713 Posts: 1,012, Reputation: 305
    Ultra Member
     
    #224

    May 14, 2009, 08:39 PM

    Delete her from aim too! You don't need these little tid bits about her new life. You need to stop checking up on what she is doing and start concentrating on your own life. If you keep checking up on her, you will make it a lot harder for yourself to move on.
    JTS31708's Avatar
    JTS31708 Posts: 128, Reputation: 9
    Junior Member
     
    #225

    May 17, 2009, 07:44 PM

    Update: Doing a lot better its been a week with no contact between us and it feels good! Just going out and hanging out with friends, working, and going to the gym. I also might be buying a new car soon hopefully! =]

    How is everyone else doing!
    drinkmenow8's Avatar
    drinkmenow8 Posts: 58, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #226

    May 17, 2009, 10:35 PM

    I know its hard man I just went through a break up a month after you when I found this site every day is a struggle but you know what.. there is someone out there for us that will appreciate, and treat us in a way we deserve. I read about all you did for this girl and I truly commend you for it. It takes a strong person to recover from something that you helped build, but it isn't our fault when that creation wasn't meant to be.
    ldanny's Avatar
    ldanny Posts: 65, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #227

    May 19, 2009, 12:26 PM

    I briefly read through some of the posts... I am copying what you did. I replaced my ex's number with "Don't Break NC" great idea! =)
    dreamingartist's Avatar
    dreamingartist Posts: 104, Reputation: 54
    Junior Member
     
    #228

    May 19, 2009, 01:39 PM
    if you have an iPhone, which most people do, you can get an app called iBlacklist.

    It sends your X to a busy signal on your phone. No voicemail, and 0 notification on your end she even called, or texted.

    Basically my X could call me 100 times n a row and send me 100 text messages, and I will never see them, or even know she sent them.

    It was a bit crazy at first wondering if I was blocking something? But if you commit to it, its SOOOO much easier knowing that even if you wanted to chat with her you wouldn't know she was calling. Then you can finally stop looking at your phone every time to check if there is a voicemail from her, or a text message, or etc.. Sometimes its better to just not have to worry about it at all.
    goldenjewel's Avatar
    goldenjewel Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #229

    May 19, 2009, 01:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JTS31708 View Post
    Hey me and my girlfriend have been going out for just about a year and we love eachother very much! just yesterday she told me that i have become lazy and unexciting... and that she wants a break to have fun and go out with her friends. I used to take her out all the time anywhere she wanted to go we went. Anytime she needed me i was there for her! We would watch movies at our houses together, and we used to go out all the time but now i currently am trying to get a job and its hard to find one because no one is hiring. So since i havent had a job going out to places has been a little limited now. It hurts so much inside i have no idea why she would do this! She said she still loves me and is not with another guy. She said maybe in a coupe of weeks we can meet up or something. This whole situation is driving me crazy i want to text her and want to get her back now but every one keeps tellin me to leave it alone and let her come back to me. All of her boyfriends before me have treated her like or used her, and i am the only one who has ever been so nice so caring and always there for her and she calls me her everything! I just dont see why this happened!??

    Anyone have any ideas what i should do or say?? please help! I dont want to lose her!

    Thanks!
    My ex for a little over a yr broke it off too and i was sad all i can say is if she wants to get out and do her own thing let her. And you have to tell yourself that its over until you meet again, don't text her and don't call her and just believe that you can move on, i did and i was so hurt and sad and it felt like he broke it off wen i needed him the most, but i let it go and honestly now that im in love with another man he wants to text me and go out and all that so don't worry, let her be and move on.
    goldenjewel's Avatar
    goldenjewel Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #230

    May 19, 2009, 01:54 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by jts31708 View Post
    update: Doing alot better its been a week with no contact between us and it feels good! Just going out and hanging out with friends, working, and going to the gym. I also might be buying a new car soon hopefully! =]

    how is everyone else doing!?
    Thas good, I'm proud of you!
    JTS31708's Avatar
    JTS31708 Posts: 128, Reputation: 9
    Junior Member
     
    #231

    May 19, 2009, 03:09 PM

    Thanks, yea we have been through the arguing to try to get back together well basically I was the one who was doing that asking for another chance to change things but it just kept getting worse! Then after about a week or so she said she misses me I told her I need time to myself and she said she would give me that time. Another week passes and she absolutley can't take it anymore she says she wants to see me and she misses me so much. I told her we cannot be friends I said we either work together to work it out or nothing. She said she was sorry and that's the last I heard from her. The one thing I think is funny about all of this is how she pretends that she is having the best time of her life just how she was before until she came back saying I miss you. So I know this isn't getting anywhere so I'm leaving it alone and moving on.
    SecretAgentMan's Avatar
    SecretAgentMan Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #232

    May 19, 2009, 08:59 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JTS31708 View Post
    Thanks, yea we have been through the arguing to try to get back together well basically i was the one who was doing that asking for another chance to change things but it just kept getting worse! Then after about a week or so she said she misses me i told her i need time to myself and she said she would give me that time. Another week passes and she absolutley can't take it anymore she says she wants to see me and she misses me so much. I told her we cannot be friends i said we either work together to work it out or nothing. She said she was sorry and thats the last i heard from her. The one thing i think is funny about all of this is how she pretends that she is having the best time of her life just how she was before until she came back saying i miss you. So i know this isnt getting anywhere so im leaving it alone and moving on.
    Dude, take it from me, a veteran of the love-hate wars for 30-some odd years...

    30 years ago, I had a girlfriend who I was absolutely ga-ga over. After dating for 9 very passionate months, she did the same thing to me. She said I was smothering her and she wanted to "fly". Someone once told me to let love fly away, and if it comes back to you, it's true. Over the next 5 years she flew back to me, and then away again so many times I cannot remember how many times. I finally gave up after she convinced some other guy that she was dating [at the time] to attack me. I kicked his and went no contact with absolutley no hope of ever seeing her again. In the last 24 years she has resurfaced twice and tried to interfere with my [married] life. She almost got me this last time (in just the last 3 months), but I have her figured out. I've even tried being a friend to her... but it doesn't seem to work... she wants something more than friendship and something less than a loving relationship... if you catch my drift. To her, I was purely a sex toy.

    I'm not saying this is the case with you, but what I am saying is... this can go on forever dude. If she doesn't "fly" back to you and nest-up... it ain't no good. I understand that you need to find out. If she truly loved you, she would love everything about you.. it wouldn't always be about what she needs or what she wants... it would be YOU and HER... together... connected at the soul and at the heart... not at the groin.

    Good luck to you dude, I'm rooting for you! Do yourself a favor and make a great life for yourself rather than worrying about this. If you two are meant to be... it will happen. Set yourself a challenging goal and go for it! If she wants to go along for the ride and you really believe her, then go for that too... it can be done. If she doesn't want to go along for the ride... then let her crash & burn... just like my tormentor has done. Keep me posted.
    _rachel_'s Avatar
    _rachel_ Posts: 21, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #233

    May 19, 2009, 09:04 PM

    I think you should just sent her a text. If she says you are lazy and unexciting, prove her wrong.
    If she wants things to be how they used to be, let them.
    Start from the very beginning. Just flirt with her, make her remember what it was like when you first met and she will really see how much she misses you.
    Dare81's Avatar
    Dare81 Posts: 264, Reputation: 44
    Full Member
     
    #234

    May 21, 2009, 03:44 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by _rachel_ View Post
    I think you should just sent her a text. If she says you are lazy and unexciting, prove her wrong.
    If she wants things to be how they used to be, let them.
    Start from the very beginning. Just flirt with her, make her remeber what it was like when you first met and she will really see how much she misses you.
    Bad idea.He should move on, life is too precious to be wasted on someone who doesnot love you.
    JTS31708's Avatar
    JTS31708 Posts: 128, Reputation: 9
    Junior Member
     
    #235

    May 21, 2009, 03:27 PM

    Im feeling way better than before now things that I know or things I find out about her do not bother me at all!! =] She is talking to some guy she barely knows apparently. And she says she is having the best time of her life apparently when on her aim she puts down happy then dissapointed the next day lol. Well just letting everyone know that what used to bother me doesn't anymore =] I feel a lot better
    ldanny's Avatar
    ldanny Posts: 65, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #236

    May 21, 2009, 05:03 PM

    That's great!! I'm trying to get to that point
    jmw0713's Avatar
    jmw0713 Posts: 1,012, Reputation: 305
    Ultra Member
     
    #237

    May 21, 2009, 05:30 PM

    I'm glad you are feeling better but heed this warning...

    Don't think that just because you feel this way right now, that you can open all doors for friendship and stay in constant contact with her. If you do, you are going to get bit in the @ss and fall hard. Stick to NC and quit checking her AIM for crumbs of her life. I still think you are not truly moving forward, because you keep checking up on her. You need to realize she is no longer part of your life and you're no longer a part of her life, and let things be the way they are.

    Don't do that. If you really want to test these "I don't care feelings", go strict NC and move on.
    cozyk's Avatar
    cozyk Posts: 802, Reputation: 125
    Senior Member
     
    #238

    May 21, 2009, 05:44 PM

    My only concern is that your feelings will fluctuate, but your actions shouldn't. Right now you feel powerful and in the drivers seat of your life. That is so good to hear and I couldn't be more pleased. But , I want you to watch out for this. At some point or points, for whatever reason, you may have a down day. This is not unusual, in fact it is to be expected. You know, remnants of the past that rear their ugly head. Or hearing something about her that makes you sad. Don't let this feeling throw you for a loop. IT WILL PASS. It is normal and I don't want you to think that it means that you are back at square one. Just know that it could happen, but that it will pass. It isn't a set back.
    ajGambino's Avatar
    ajGambino Posts: 317, Reputation: 97
    Full Member
     
    #239

    May 21, 2009, 06:03 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by jmw0713 View Post
    Stick to NC and quit checking her AIM for crumbs of her life.

    Don't do that. If you really want to test these "I don't care feelings", go strict NC and move on.


    Yes.
    I'm glad you're feeling better man, but truly move on by disappearing from her life. That includes you updating with her life, you'll eventually get hit hard by doing it.
    davett's Avatar
    davett Posts: 18, Reputation: 6
    New Member
     
    #240

    May 25, 2009, 09:43 AM
    Can't believe this dude is still hanging onto her.

    My girlfriend has just split up with me, her mom died 6 weeks ago after a long illness and I guess her feeling have changed over the last 6 months and probably fallen out of love with me and possibly talked herself out of it. We were planning to buy a house. Now she wants to concentrate on looking after her father and doesn't want me to wait until her head is sorted. I suspect she is just letting me down gently. So going no contact and get on with thing. If her head gets sorted and wants me back then I will worry about that if it happens. But I've got to try to move on.

    I'm gutted but life is jut too short

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Girlfriend is confused and needs space but does not want to break up.I'm lost [ 13 Answers ]

Ok gang, so it was NYE and my girlfriend came over upset about the tanning salon being closed and got more upset by the fact that my friends bailed to go to the bars instead of the party we were going to. My gf's best friend was also driving up for the party and my girlfriend says she either wanted...

Girlfriend wants a break, and I'm so lost [ 2 Answers ]

Here's some background information: My girlfriend and I are both 19, and have been together for two years, since the beginning of senior year in high school. We became "best friends" through playing music together before we actually started dating, we had a lot in common, and things have been...

Confused and lost [ 1 Answers ]

:confused: my mom meet a guy and well they are going to be getting married. So we moved to his place which I am not use the surroundings at all,new to me and I can't stand it. It had been a month and I decide I can't take it a anymore! I talk to my dad and he said that if I want to move with him I...

Lost and confused [ 11 Answers ]

Hi well I am 19 and have just split up from a 19 month relationship and I have had conflicting advice about what to do, I still love her and I don't know how she feels as she won't tell me can anyone give me advice on what to do please thank you if you can. Mat


View more questions Search