[Pegwhistle]

Good evening.....

I am faced with a dire situation. I am married with a small son. I cannot stay any longer, he is extremely mentally and emotionally abusive to myself and now my son.

I am from WI and we both moved to VT 5 years ago. Our son was born here in VT. I know no one here and all my family is in Wi. I am very isolated and alone here.

In order to leave him I would need and have to go back to WI and live with my father. No other way around it. I have no friends here and could never afford this very expensive place on any job I could get.

I want to know if I can just leave with my son? There have been no divorce, custody papers filed at all. No talk of divorce whatsoever actually.

If I do just leave, what can my husband do after? Would I get in trouble at all?

He is very controlling and I couldn't just go about this the normal way. He has said many times he would fight me to the death before he gave up his son or had him taken away from him. So I could never just "talk it out" with him and suggest me moving back to WI with our son.

I am my son's 24 hour caregiver and his father is not around a whole lot.

I am in desperate need to know what I can or cannot do. I am in horrible place.

[Fr_Chuck]

You can leave but husband can file for divorce in VT and ask for custody of the child.

You will have to return to VT to fight in court.

He can ask ( and most likely win) a order to force you to return so he can get his legal rights to visit the child.

So it is very likely he can force you ( or at least the child) to return to VT to live.

[cadillac59]

Good evening.....

I am faced with a dire situation. I am married with a small son. I cannot stay any longer, he is extremely mentally and emotionally abusive to myself and now my son.

I am from WI and we both moved to VT 5 years ago. Our son was born here in VT. I know no one here and all my family is in Wi. I am very isolated and alone here.

In order to leave him I would need and have to go back to WI and live with my father. No other way around it. I have no friends here and could never afford this very expensive place on any job I could get.

I want to know if I can just leave with my son? There have been no divorce, custody papers filed at all. No talk of divorce whatsoever actually.

If I do just leave, what can my husband do after? Would I get in trouble at all?

He is very controlling and I couldn't just go about this the normal way. He has said many times he would fight me to the death before he gave up his son or had him taken away from him. So I could never just "talk it out" with him and suggest me moving back to WI with our son.

I am my son's 24 hour caregiver and his father is not around a whole lot.

I am in desperate need to know what I can or cannot do. I am in horrible place.

You are in a difficult situation but running away is no solution. In fact, it may make matters worse.

You can leave, but if you try to hide the child from him you could be charged with parental kidnapping and could also lose custody. Second, even if you let your husband know where you are, he could still file an action for custody in VT in which case you would have to return to VT to litigate the matter--VT would have sole jurisdiction over child custody if your husband filed the action within 6 months of your departure.

So, there is no easy answer to your dilemma.

[jbroberg2000]

Who are these guys answering you above?? Your first paragraph states that your spouse is abusive to you and your son. GET OUT!!

Try this. Take a "vacation" with your son to visit your dad, immediately. Use every excuse to NEVER return. During your "vacation" find a way to divorce your spouse remotely.

Until the divorce is finalized, NEVER let your spouse be alone with you and/or your son.

The law is meant to protect the rights of your child and you too -- not just your spouse.