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nena14 · Apr 29, 2009, 06:26 PM

:mad:well I got in so much trouble because my mother got to read what I wrote! Anyway she said that I'm 15 years old going to be 16 on monday:) but yesterday seem really good with my boyfriend mother ! And my mother came she said that she still can decide if I give my baby in adoption or have it, I don't want to give my baby to a family because I think when I grow up I will never be okay not knowing where my baby is at she said that I'm too young and that even if my boyfriend is going to work we can't support it! I'm lost I don't know what to do I can believe my own mother wants to get rid of my baby!:( I don't know what to do! I know I am young and its a lot of money and yes I'm not mature but a baby is a baby and I know 16 year old girls who can do it ! I can do it too man I don't know!:confused::confused::confused:
Just to let know other people I don't have 4 days but I just made my page the day four or five days ago so for some people that don't know its almost a month !
And the woman who gave me life! I'm not going to ask her for anything I don't even want to know anything about her! She doesn't want my baby why would I want her! I'm just tired

Fr_Chuck · Apr 29, 2009, 06:37 PM

No you mom can not just decide, she may try and go to court and force it, but she will need either your permission or a court order.

Alty · Apr 29, 2009, 06:42 PM

You're 15, how old is your boyfriend?

In most states you are not legally allowed to have sex, it's considered statutory rape.

Your mother can't make you give up your baby, but she can file charges against your boyfriend for statutory rape if you are not legal.

How are you going to support this child? Obviously your mother isn't going to help you, most likely your boyfriend won't stick around, so how will you clothe it, feed it, pay for hospital bills, a roof over it's head, diapers, medication, everything!

Babies are expensive, most adults aren't prepared for the cost even though they have a good job and a home.

Before you make this decision you have to look at all the angles, not just what you want.

Good luck.

stevetcg · Apr 29, 2009, 06:46 PM

Your mother has no say in what you do as far as adoption goes, one way or another. She cannot make you give up to adoption and she cannot stop you if you choose.

She is also legally responsible for you until you are 18.

Alty · Apr 29, 2009, 06:47 PM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

Your mother has no say in what you do as far as adoption goes, one way or another. She cannot make you give up to adoption and she cannot stop you if you choose.

She is also legally responsible for you until you are 18.

But, is she legally responsible for the baby? :confused:

stevetcg · Apr 29, 2009, 06:51 PM

By extension, yes. By law, no. She cannot throw out the daughter and the daughter cannot throw out the baby... so in effect, yeah.

Alty · Apr 29, 2009, 07:26 PM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

By extension, yes. By law, no. She cannot throw out the daughter and the daughter cannot throw out the baby... so in effect, yeah.

That doesn't seem fair. I know, the law isn't fair, but it wasn't her mothers choice for her to have a baby. Grrrr. Stupid law.

Can she at least force her daughter to pay for her own child?

stevetcg · Apr 29, 2009, 07:39 PM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

That doesn't seem fair. I know, the law isn't fair, but it wasn't her mothers choice for her to have a baby. Grrrr. Stupid law.

Can she at least force her daughter to pay for her own child?

Well, maybe if she had been a better parent she wouldn't have a grand daughter already...

Im just saying...

Fair? It's a child. Who cares if its fair or not. It's a baby, for G. sake.

nena14 · Apr 29, 2009, 08:19 PM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

You're 15, how old is your boyfriend?

In most states you are not legally allowed to have sex, it's considered statutory rape.

Your mother can't make you give up your baby, but she can file charges against your boyfriend for statutory rape if you are not legal.

How are you going to support this child? Obviously your mother isn't going to help you, most likely your boyfriend won't stick around, so how will you clothe it, feed it, pay for hospital bills, a roof over it's head, diapers, medication, everthing!

Babies are expensive, most adults aren't prepared for the cost even though they have a good job and a home.

Before you make this decision you have to look at all the angles, not just what you want.

Good luck.

My boyfriend is 18 years old

Alty · Apr 29, 2009, 08:38 PM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

Well, maybe if she had been a better parent she wouldnt have a grand daughter already...

Im just sayin...

Fair? Its a child. Who cares if its fair or not. Its a baby, for G. sake.

I'm not arguing with you Steve, honestly. I just don't think it's fair that this kid gets herself pregnant on purpose and now her mother may be forced to raise the baby.

It is a baby and it deserves so much more than a 15 year old girl that thinks that getting pregnant will trap her boyfriend into marrying her and being with her.

I agree that the mother should have been a better parent, but sometimes you cannot help what your kids do. If she knew that her daughter was dating an 18 year old and was sexually active then she deserves what she gets, but most 15 year olds don't confide in their parents.

The only one that will suffer here is the baby. She has an immature 15 year old for a mother and a grandmother that wants nothing to do with her. Really, this baby would be better off being placed for adoption.

Alty · Apr 29, 2009, 08:39 PM

Originally Posted by nena14

my boyfriend is 18 years old

Then he may very well go to jail for Statutory rape.

I hope you're prepared to do this without him.

stevetcg · Apr 30, 2009, 03:57 AM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

I'm not arguing with you Steve, honestly. I just don't think it's fair that this kid gets herself pregnant on purpose and now her mother may be forced to raise the baby.

It is a baby and it deserves so much more than a 15 year old girl that thinks that getting pregnant will trap her boyfriend into marrying her and being with her.

I agree that the mother should have been a better parent, but sometimes you cannot help what your kids do. If she knew that her daughter was dating an 18 year old and was sexually active then she deserves what she gets, but most 15 year olds don't confide in their parents.

The only one that will suffer here is the baby. She has an immature 15 year old for a mother and a grandmother that wants nothing to do with her. Really, this baby would be better off being placed for adoption.

Better off? Sure... absolutely. All I am saying is that grandma needs to step up or risk losing both daughter and grandchild forever.

this8384 · Apr 30, 2009, 08:03 AM

I'm curious as to how she was able to determine in FOUR DAYS that she's pregnant...

Alty · Apr 30, 2009, 08:18 AM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

Better off? Sure... absolutely. All I am saying is that grandma needs to step up or risk losing both daughter and grandchild forever.

I agree with you. If my daughter came home pregnant I'd do everything in my power to help her, including taking her to a counsellor to discuss other options like adoption.

Not all parents are great parents. It doesn't sound like this girl has a very stable family life. After all, she went and got pregnant on purpose at 15, obviously there's something missing.

I'm not standing by her mother and I agree that she has to be there for her daughter now that this is a done deal. If she had accidentally gotten pregnant I'd have an easier time accepting this, but she did it on purpose to trap her boyfriend and now her mother is trapped too. Selfish, that's what this is, Selfish and irresponsible.

Sorry, I'll get off my soap box now. It just makes me so mad when silly unthinking kids go out and do adult things without one little thought to the consequences of their actions.

stevetcg · Apr 30, 2009, 08:25 AM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

I agree with you. If my daughter came home pregnant I'd do everything in my power to help her, including taking her to a counsellor to discuss other options like adoption.

Not all parents are great parents. It doesn't sound like this girl has a very stable family life. After all, she went and got pregnant on purpose at 15, obviously there's something missing.

I'm not standing by her mother and I agree that she has to be there for her daughter now that this is a done deal. If she had accidentally gotten pregnant I'd have an easier time accepting this, but she did it on purpose to trap her boyfriend and now her mother is trapped too. Selfish, that's what this is, Selfish and irresponsible.

Sorry, I'll get off my soap box now. It just makes me so mad when silly unthinking kids go out and do adult things without one little thought to the consequences of their actions.

I missed the trapping part. I didn't read the other thread. I was just approaching this from a strictly legal standpoint.

Here is another case for the argument that everyone should be sterilized at birth and have to get a license to breed. :)

carnivale · Apr 30, 2009, 08:26 AM

Think what is best for the baby and of you think you can raise the baby then maybe you should keep it. But whaterver you do always think of the baby first.

nena14 · Apr 30, 2009, 05:19 PM

Originally Posted by this8384

I'm curious as to how she was able to determine in FOUR DAYS that she's pregnant...

For your information ! Its not 4 days! To take a pregnancy test you have to wait more than 10 days! If you didn't know!

nena14 · Apr 30, 2009, 05:23 PM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

I'm not arguing with you Steve, honestly. I just don't think it's fair that this kid gets herself pregnant on purpose and now her mother may be forced to raise the baby.

It is a baby and it deserves so much more than a 15 year old girl that thinks that getting pregnant will trap her boyfriend into marrying her and being with her.

I agree that the mother should have been a better parent, but sometimes you cannot help what your kids do. If she knew that her daughter was dating an 18 year old and was sexually active then she deserves what she gets, but most 15 year olds don't confide in their parents.

The only one that will suffer here is the baby. She has an immature 15 year old for a mother and a grandmother that wants nothing to do with her. Really, this baby would be better off being placed for adoption.

You said that my baby will be better with a family that you have never seen in your life? You can't say that girl, if you have kids I don't think that you would give them to someone you don't know? Its dumb that you think only in money and not in my feelings!I am 16 years old not 15!

stevetcg · Apr 30, 2009, 05:58 PM

Originally Posted by nena14

you said that my baby will be better with a family that you have never seen in your life? you can't say that girl, if you have kids i dont think that you would give them to someone you dont know?! its dumb that you think only in money and not in my feelings!i am 16 years old not 15!

15, 16... doesn't matter.. you still don't know jack about life.

And if you have a baby, you never will... because if you're a good parent, you aren't going to have time to have a life until the kid is about 15... which makes you 31... and over the hill.\, as far as being young and having fun goes.

Good luck with your choices.

Alty · Apr 30, 2009, 06:04 PM

Originally Posted by nena14

you said that my baby will be better with a family that you have never seen in your life? you can't say that girl, if you have kids i dont think that you would give them to someone you dont know?! its dumb that you think only in money and not in my feelings!i am 16 years old not 15!

You're baby is better off with people that are old enough, mature enough and smart enough to raise a child. 15, 16, 17... doesn't really matter, you're not mature enough to raise a child, just because your body can produce one doesn't mean you should have one.

I have two kids. I had my first at 27 and my second at 32, and even then it wasn't easy and I have a husband to boot.

Being a parent isn't the same as having a doll, you can't just put it away in the toy box when you don't feel like playing anymore.