[FlyingNeonBears]

I was asked to adopt a baby but don't actually know the woman. Her daughter told me about her and wanting to put the baby up for adoption. I have talked to her and she wants to put the baby up for adoption... Her and I are both wanting to know something.

She is in Texas and I am in Oklahoma, is it possible for her to sign adoption papers to relinquish her rights along with the babies father, and I sign and that's it? Or do we have to go through the whole long process. I think it should be if you want to put the baby up for adoption that you can, regardless. But that is just me.

[ScottGem]

An adoption has to be affirmed by a court. Without court affirmation its not legal. You should get an attorney to make sure everything is done legally.

[Synnen]

You should make sure this woman gets some counseling, as well.

Too many women change their minds after choosing adoption, and have no recourse legally.

Birthparents need to understand EXACTLY what they're giving up when they choose adoption.

Find her a good counselor specializing in adoption (NOT with an adoption agency!) to talk to so that you know she will not change her mind.

And yes--you do need to go through all the hoops. That's to protect the CHILD'S interest--not to mention the best interests of the other people involved.

And any woman CAN choose adoption if she wants to. There's absolutely no law preventing adoption. What there ARE laws preventing, though, are coercion, baby selling, and kidnapping---all of which could happen if there were no laws regarding adoption.

Do it the right way--get a lawyer, and go to court.

[ScottGem]

I think it should be if you want to put the baby up for adoption that you can, regaurdless. But that is just me.

I missed this the first time around. Its not just you, if BOTH parents want to put the child up for adoption, they can and will be allowed to. But since the decision to do so has lifelong implications for the parties involved. Implications that are very emotional, then it needs to be go through the "whole long process" to make sure EVERYONE'S rights are protected.

I just saw some of your other posts and now understand why you don't want to go through the "whole long process". There is no way you would be approved for adoption. As a single parent with no current job, no health insurance, etc. no court is likely to allow you to adopt.

[FlyingNeonBears]

I wouldn't be adopting right now anyway. I am a single mother, I am attending school to get a job, Im actually looking at a job that will be paying 30 dollars an hour. Then I will have the whole thing, money, insurance, everything.

I don't think it will happen anyway, which is OK, if God doesn't want it happening then that's fine. What needs to happen is that best interest for the baby. Plus I feel kids need their parents if the biological parents will have them.

[ScottGem]

Plus I feel kids need their parents if the biological parents will have them.

I have to disagree with that. Kids need parents PERIOD. An adopted parent or even a guardian may do better for a child than their natural parent. The act of reproduction does not automatically qualify the sperm and egg donors as the best parents. Parenting is one of the arduous, nerve wracking, frustrating and humbling occupations a person can undertake. It can also be the most rewarding.

But biology does not make a real parent.

Also, most area require that a couple be married before they can adopt.

[Alty]

I think you need to get your own life in order before considering adopting a baby.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/womens...ng-345759.html

[Synnen]

Plus I feel kids need their parents if the biological parents will have them.

Are you kidding? Could you have used WORSE phrasing?

"if the biological parents will have them".

It is EXACTLY phrases like that that make adoption look like a second class choice in society. No wonder fewer and fewer people are choosing adoption as a choice.

It's like the hierarchy is this: If you don't think you're GOOD enough to be a parent, you choose adoption. But at LEAST you didn't get an abortion!

Get real.