Check out some similar questions!

layla36 · Apr 15, 2009, 09:55 AM

You I wish she would get on this website to explain her side of the story because we all want to hear it/know it she till this day avoids the question I don't know what to think I only see her actions and that proves a lot.I am a very reasonable person . YOU guys are right! This isn't about me my husband or her its about the kids! My kids are definetily effected by all this. And I only could imagine what he is going through! But what should we do if you just let it go he could still be exposed to the sexual abuse and the physical abuse but if we pursue it then we hurt him that way but he doesn't hurt himself or other. I'm Confused two great points of view... :eek: :confused:

stevetcg · Apr 15, 2009, 10:34 AM

I see a lot of BS with your husband's story, but that isn't the point here.

If the child is being abused, call the police NOW. Do not go after the mother for allegedly sexually assaulting your "poor husband". Deal with what is actually important... the child.

And I say "poor husband" because even if he WAS drunk and underage, he was still a guy who would have nailed a light socket if he could figure out how to get the outlet cover off. Yes, it might be a "crime" in most states... but I ain't buying it. And if I were on the jury I would side with the woman.

layla36 · Apr 15, 2009, 10:45 AM

Still Discriminating him for being a man which is not right and you would have to walk in his shoes before you could say anything are plates are full he takes care of his responsibilities! Its not our fault she didn't tell us until now

MsMewiththat · Apr 15, 2009, 10:48 AM

Steve I know this isn't about what you and I agree on, but I disagree. I as a parent of a 15 year old boy, I would be for one criminally insane if my son spent time with a 19 year old woman that supplied him with alcohol and then tempted him or allowed him to sleep with her. For one without the use of a condom, GOD KNOWS WHERE SHE'S BEEN and for two truly without his consent. The age difference and the alcohol make this a very bad situation. One that I would take further than just assuming that my son must have "wanted it" as you are suggesting.

It is wrong. However you slice it, it was wrong and there are laws to protect the underage regardless of the sex of the person.

layla36 · Apr 15, 2009, 10:50 AM

:mad::mad:like always siding with the poor woman its her fault in the first place and the reason why she needs to be held accountable and the reason why we don't go to the police like you say is because they will judge him just the way you did! She is still a grown up! She knows better! The kid is the victum just because my husband is grown now doesn't mean he was then! You missing the whole point here! Im not postin a sob story here im only saying it how it is. Its wrong not enough people see what's going on here!

layla36 · Apr 15, 2009, 10:54 AM

That is very sexiest what you are portraying this to be. That is truly messing with my husbands emotions! He is so very ashamed of what happen to him only wrong doing he's owns up to is the fact he agreed to drink the alcohol. The sex part he knows nuthing about

Justwantfair · Apr 15, 2009, 10:56 AM

It hard not to run into a stereotype here. What we expect of fifteen year olds and sex with an older woman. Yes, she was wrong, she was the adult. I don't think any of us are really saying that what she did wasn't wrong.

I think we all just want to focus on what matters right here and now and that is this seven year old child, who shouldn't have to be punished for his mothers sins more then he already is.

You brought up real other issues with her character. Take care of the child. File for your visitation. The mother can't just collect child support. Exercise your rights to be in the child's life.

stevetcg · Apr 15, 2009, 10:57 AM

Originally Posted by MsMewiththat

Steve I know this isn't about what you and I agree on, but I disagree. I as a parent of a 15 year old boy, I would be for one criminally insane if my son spent time with a 19 year old woman that supplied him with alcohol and then tempted him or allowed him to sleep with her. For one without the use of a condom, GOD KNOWS WHERE SHE'S BEEN and for two truly without his consent. The age difference and the alcohol make this a very bad situation. One that I would take further than just assuming that my son must have "wanted it" as you are suggesting.

It is wrong. However you slice it, it was wrong and there are laws to protect the underage regardless of the sex of the person.

Her age does not indicate "where she's been". The other point is that its plausible that they were both in high school still. I graduated with a 20 year old.

And you have never been a 15 year old boy. I promise you... unless your child is different than EVERY 15 year old boy I have ever met, he would have done the same thing.

I am not arguing that what she did was illegal. I am just giving my opinion that I don't feel sorry for the father.

The point is that this happened and there is nothing that can change it. Time to worry about the kid now.

ScottGem · Apr 15, 2009, 11:01 AM

I'm going to add my 2 cents in here. First, whether the boy consented or not should not be an issue. Just as a 19 yr old man having sex with a 15 yr old girl would be charged with statutory rape, so should the reverse.

If you feel the child is not being taken care of properly, then I would pursue the rape case.

But I do see some contradictions in your posts. You talk about the financial burden this situation has placed on you, yet you are willing to take custody of the child. You talk about justice, but the one being most affected is the child and where is the justice for him?

My recommendation is to IMMEDIATELY consult an attorney to try and unravel this mess.

layla36 · Apr 15, 2009, 11:03 AM

Just because only women report rape does not mean a man can't be raped! It is possible and in my husbands case that is wat happened!come on lets look at the facts here!
1 she moved away from the location when she was pregnant
2 very small community she hid this child from pple there n him
((i might note) hes best friends with her brother why didn't the brother tell him? He must of got told not to say enything!
3 she comes out about it 7 whole years later when statue of limitation is weeks from being up!
This story is too much of a quwinsidence
I don't buy that she is innocent come on now pple!
Regardless if he did knw which he didn't it is still wrong she should be responsible quit weezling through the system and getting away with it! Its pple like her who make it harder for hard workn families who have real issues.

stevetcg · Apr 15, 2009, 11:06 AM

Originally Posted by layla36

JUST BECUZ ONLY WOMEN REPORT RAPE DOES NOT MEAN A MAN can't BE RAPED! IT IS POSSIBLE AND IN MY HUSBANDS CASE THAT IS WAT HAPPEND!COME ON LETS LOOK AT THE FACTS HERE!
1 SHE MOVED AWAY FROM THE LOCATION WHEN SHE WAS PREGNANT
2 VERY SMALL COMMUNITY SHE HID THIS CHILD FROM PPLE THERE N HIM
((I MIGHT NOTE) HES BEST FRIENDS WITH HER BROTHER WHY DIDNT THE BROTHER TELL HIM? HE MUST OF GOT TOLD NOT TO SAY ENYTHING!!
3 SHE COMES OUT ABOUT IT 7 WHOLE YEARS LATER WHEN STATUE OF LIMITATION IS WEEKS FROM BEING UP!!
THIS STORY IS TOO MUCH OF A QUwinsidence
I DONT BUY THAT SHE IS INNOCENT COME ON NOW PPLE!
rEGARDLESS IF HE DID KNW WHICH hE DIDNT IT IS STILL WRONG SHE SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE QUIT WEEZLING THROUGH THE SYSTEM AND GETTIN AWAY WITH IT! ITS PPLE LIKE HER WHO MAKE IT HARDER FOR HARD WORKN FAMILIES WHO HAVE REAL ISSUES.

Please type in actual words and not all caps.

And you mention coincidence - yes - I agree that it's a coincidence that now you are being hit up for support that the story of rape comes out.

What happened or is legal is NOT the issue here. The child is. Deal with THAT issue.

Justwantfair · Apr 15, 2009, 11:07 AM

You can take off the caps and stop screaming at us, we get your side.

It was wrong and illegal, talk to an attorney.

twinkiedooter · Apr 15, 2009, 11:09 AM

I think the real issue here is your husband and you would like custody of this son. The part about being 15 etc is irrelevant at this point and trying to put the mother in jail at this point is useless.

The real question in my mind is why is she coming to your husband now? Is this just a financial need on her part as she is in need of financial help to raise the boy?

You and your husband should definitely pursue a custody matter with this son if he is experiencing physical abuse from the mother. The paternity needs to be established by the Court and then the change of custody issue addressed.

Tryng to nail her on rape charge is nothing more than sour grapes at this point and I, for one, don't see him winning this late in the game but causing everyone a lot of unnecessary grief.

layla36 · Apr 15, 2009, 11:10 AM

Once the child is in our custody we can get him the proper help he needs as far as financial responsibility this money is not going to go to this child it si going to her! I don't feel comfortable taking money from my kids and giving it to person with selfish intentions! Her actions prove it! The child will be here with us he is still the victim here as well he will be properly cared for! And no longer exposed to that kind of behavior and in ordre to petion for custody you have to go to that reservation and go to court we have no time or money to do either

ScottGem · Apr 15, 2009, 11:12 AM

First stop shouting at us. You posted this question under the criminal law forum and we are trying to advise you according to the law.

As to facts, we only have your husband's account (through you) about the circumstances. I don't know if you even knew your husband at that time.

Under Idaho law:
TITLE 18
CRIMES AND PUNISHMENTS
CHAPTER 15
CHILDREN AND VULNERABLE ADULTS
18-1506. SEXUAL ABUSE OF A CHILD UNDER THE AGE OF SIXTEEN YEARS. (1) It
is a felony for any person eighteen (18) years of age or older, with the
intent to gratify the lust, passions, or sexual desire of the actor, minor
child or third party, to:
(a) solicit a minor child under the age of sixteen (16) years to
participate in a sexual act, or
(b) cause or have sexual contact with such minor child

But, as I said before, consent is irrelevant.

I think I do understand your thinking. You are afraid that any support payments you make will not be used for the care of the child. As I said to you in another thread, it really helps if you tell us the whole story. Its coming out by bits and pieces and that presents a problem in us trying to help.

But the bottom line here is we have given you the legal facts. An earlier post indicated there is no SOL on rape. I've given you statute for Statutory rape. So the ball is now in your court. You need to speak to a lawyer and or county (or possibly tribal) prosecutor on how to pursue this through the courts.

layla36 · Apr 15, 2009, 11:12 AM

IM FRUSTERATED! Never mind pple its too hard for all of you to understand you won't until you go through it! I'm not a selfish person I just feel like I shouldn't have to deal with it but I joined this marriage and I'm in it with him. I explained my side and what else can I say! I'm the victum here!

mudweiser · Apr 15, 2009, 11:13 AM

Child support: The legal obligation a parent has to contribute to the economic maintenance of their child, which is paid by one parent to the other.

Your not even paying CS yet. If you believe the CS payments are being misused, you should talk to your child support lawyer about changing the child support order, or having the other parent held in contempt of court. <-- but your not even there yet!

You need to hire a lawyer. We are not lawyers, we can give you advice and our opinions but what we say should not dictate on how you will deal with this matter.

Sarah

layla36 · Apr 15, 2009, 11:18 AM

I need a legal advocate! I don't know the law inside and out! But I do need someone who does!
I guess I just have to deal with it right!
Your right I don't know who my husband was at the time!

stevetcg · Apr 15, 2009, 11:18 AM

Originally Posted by layla36

once the child is in our custody we can get him the proper help he needs as far as financial responsiblity this money is not going to go to this child it si going to her! I dont feel comfortable taking money from my kids and giving it to person with selfish intentions! Her actions prove it! The child will be here with us he is still the victim here as well he will be properly cared for! And no longer exposed to that kind of behavior and in ordre to petion for custody you have to go to that reservation and go to court we have no time or money to do either

This money IS going to the child, through the mother. Everyone that doesn't want to pay support feels that the money isn't being used on the child. That matters not one little bit. The money is owed to the custodial parent to use *as s/he sees fit*. What you feel comfortable with is of no concern to anyone but you.

If you don't have the time or money to go to court, you obviously do not want custody that badly.

twinkiedooter · Apr 15, 2009, 11:18 AM

Originally Posted by layla36

IM FRUSTERATED! never mind pple its too hard for all of you to understand you wont until you go through it! im not a selfish person i just feel like i shouldnt have to deal with it but i joined this marriage and im in it with him. i explained my side and wat else can i say! im the victum here!

Could you please explain just how YOU are the victim? Or did I miss that?