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Junior Member
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Apr 11, 2009, 09:31 AM
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Maybe I needed to go out which I did last night... I had a great time with this new guy. But like you said Missy, its like he doesn't understand what I'm going through now. This guy is really super nice but I'm curious to know why he wants something right away. He does make me feel good... better than my ex ever did... but I just don't know. Yes, we did have a good time last night but since I feel the pressure of him wanting something to become more of this.. makes me feel like backing totally away too!
My intentions are to get to know people for who they are first rather than jumping into a romantic relationship to then come to a surprise... here are my true colors type thing.
And Piran your most definatley right. I just feel rejected... One thing I noticed though last night is that I sensed that this other guy felt like a million bucks being next to me while my ex on the other hand was like all into himself. This made me feel appreciated in so many ways. These are things I'm just learning and observing though. ;)
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Full Member
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Apr 11, 2009, 11:13 AM
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 Originally Posted by LoveStoned
Maybe I needed to go out which I did last night.....I had a great time with this new guy. But like you said Missy, its like he doesn't understand what I'm going through now. This guy is really super nice but I'm curious to know why he wants something right away. He does make me feel good...better than my ex ever did...but I just dont know. Yes, we did have a good time last night but since I feel the pressure of him wanting something to become more of this.. makes me feel like backing totally away too!
My intentions are to get to know people for who they are first rather than jumping into a romantic relationship to then come to a surprise .....here are my true colors type thing.
And Piran your most definatley right. I just feel rejected...One thing I noticed though last night is that I sensed that this other guy felt like a million bucks being next to me while my ex on the other hand was like all into himself. This made me feel appreciated in so many ways. These are things I'm just learning and observing though. ;)
Then you have your answer, be with someone that appreciates you, rejection is an awful feeling and people who never got dumped don't know what it feels like until it happens to them. Then they will know how it hurts and think twice before doing it to someone else.
But guess what, after rejection, there is?. yes, Acceptance. Someone else will be there and accept you and cherish you just the way you are. And if you tell them how your ex treated you, they just won't believe it and ask you, ''why did you stay with that person?''
And you will say, love makes you blind, lol. Then once all emotions are gone you see the light and understand that you were in the dark.
Then you say, how could I be in the dark when I loved that person. Well simple, if you are the only one giving love and not receiving, hard to accept but we are in the dark and sinking deeper in a black hole. It will keep getting dark until one day, boom, the relationship is over. In the future I think we should open our eyes sooner and if we get a gut feeling to get out of there cause it's not healthy, well Just do it! Get out before the damage is done. A partner who is into himself like your ex was and my ex was, are called selfish self-centered individuals and accuse us of being too sensitive, but in reality they are the ones who are not '' in tune '' with their emotions and are careless and the proof is right there in their face THEY LOST US.
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Full Member
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Apr 12, 2009, 02:48 AM
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That rejection will fade, just because on man doesn't want you doesn't mean they all dont- as your new friend has proven, you are still wanted. I had to spread the rep piran is right.
Sounds like my ex too, selfish, self-centred individuals and accuse us of being to sensitive. Piran words are true they lost us. You sound like a nice lady and I'm sure the right one is waiting for you somewhere. Just give it more time
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Full Member
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Apr 12, 2009, 09:26 AM
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 Originally Posted by MiSSsy111222
That rejection will fade, just becasue on man doesnt want you doesnt mean they all dont- as your new friend has proven, you are still wanted. I had to spread the rep piran is right.
sounds like my ex too, selfish, self-centred individuals and accuse us of being to sensitive. Piran words are true they lost us. You sound like a nice lady and im sure the right one is waiting for you somewhere. just give it more time
I isn't no lady, I am a man! Lol
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Full Member
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Apr 13, 2009, 11:47 AM
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I was responding to lovestoned :)
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Full Member
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Apr 13, 2009, 12:04 PM
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 Originally Posted by MiSSsy111222
i was responding to lovestoned :)
Oh , lol
My bad
Thank god I feel a lot better now :-)
You just put a smile onmy face!
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Full Member
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Apr 13, 2009, 12:08 PM
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So guys and girls, I have a very good question for you guys.
What is the best revenge possible you can do for an ex that dumped you?
I believe someone has posted this before in these forums, but I just want to see some new opinions on this.
What is the best revenge to make you feel better?
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Ultra Member
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Apr 13, 2009, 12:10 PM
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Revenge is for losers.
The best "revenge" in my mind is to move on with your life and build a truly better life around you without that person in it. Do it for yourself though, as doing it just to get back at your ex gives them way too much power over you.
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Full Member
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Apr 13, 2009, 12:38 PM
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I think revenge on an ex is no good, I think KC is right. The best revenge is happiness with oneself and moving on to a bigger and brighter future.
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Junior Member
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Apr 13, 2009, 12:51 PM
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Yeah there right. Revenge will only make you look spiteful. They will resect you more if you left with dignity. If they were being spiteful towards us... well they are the ones who will think back to how stupid and immature they really were for acting the way they did.
I swear I felt like my ex was looking for somehting for me to do or say to make him hate me. Maybe that's why he kept trying to come back for something.
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Full Member
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Apr 13, 2009, 12:53 PM
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I agree, showing you moved on without them and having happiness and met a new person and things are going well is a great way to show them that they dumping you just made your life better. Always see the good things from a bad situation. I won't call her or contact her to let her know I met someone. She will soon find out by Facebook or by friends.
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Full Member
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Apr 13, 2009, 12:53 PM
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Abit of topic I know, how you feeling today lovestoned?
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Ultra Member
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Apr 13, 2009, 01:02 PM
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I glad you didn't break down too much to break your NC by calling him. Your feelings ar nature and it is okay to cry. It helps to release all those build up emotions instead of keeping them. Besides that you seem to progressing well.
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Junior Member
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Apr 13, 2009, 01:13 PM
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Good actually... I'm reaching my 3 months of NC on Friday.Thanks for asking Missy! :p
I try to be understanding about the whole thing. We were together since we were very young. So we don't know what it is like to be with anyone else. We both need to grow (in this case apart from one another) as much as it hurts but it's the truth. There are some things I need to work on as well. Even though I left I should have spoken up for what I believed in and not have backed down. Maybe that's why it got too out of control.
Time is key I can still see that I'm in the grieving stages... well I guess its where one day I'm okay maybe the next not okay type thing.
How's everyone else doing? :D
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Full Member
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Apr 13, 2009, 01:25 PM
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Glad your doing OK, I'm fine :).
Sometimes we need to do things even if it hurts us, for the best. I Hate the ups and downs of a break up. It's a pain. But the main thing is that You have acccepted the situation, and now your grieving for your loss, which is only naurtal.
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Junior Member
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Apr 26, 2009, 06:23 AM
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Hey guys
My ex's birthday is around the corner and I don't know if I should call to say happy birthday? I don't want to do NC in an immature way.. what do you think?? :confused:
Then again I feel like he don't even deserve that after everything.
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Ultra Member
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Apr 26, 2009, 06:39 AM
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No, don't call him. Calling him will only set you back and you want to continue moving forward.
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Full Member
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Apr 26, 2009, 07:28 AM
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 Originally Posted by LoveStoned
Hey guys
My ex's birthday is around the corner and I don't know if I should call to say happy birthday?? I don't want to do NC in an immature way.. what do you think???:confused:
Then again I feel like he don't even deserve that after everything.
Don't call, NC is NC, meaning birthday, xmas, easter, etc... My ex's birthday is coming too, early June, and I have decided I will not call because I am doing NC. Let's leave them alone and make them see how it is to be on their birthday without us. I am sure they won't call on our birthday either. If they do call, will you answer? Or just ignore...
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Junior Member
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Jun 20, 2009, 10:52 PM
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Need a PEP talk.5 months NC and still hurt
Threads merged
Hey everyone...
I don't know what's wrong with me. I guess I'm taking a little spill. I've partied, kept myself busy with work and school and found myself bursting into tears today. I've been fine...
I understand and realize we were not cut out for each other... I just feel like talking to him sometimes... I thought about calling him just to say hi, but I know Im not completely over him so I don't know if it will do me any good. I didn't call for is birthday, ignored his parents greeting emails. I feel like a mean heartless person.
The thing is that he was seeing this other girl while I was trying to fix what I had broken. That to me is heartless. He met her like two weeks after breaking up long term relationship almost marriage.
I think about how he's dealing with us not being together too... And I know that's not where my mind should be wondering but it happens.
On the nights when I do go out, that's when I THINK ABOUT HIM THE MOST!!!!!!
Than again how am I going to meet different people?
I'm a total mess right now. It hurt me to stay in the relationship and hurts me like hell to be living the breakup of it.
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Ultra Member
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Jun 20, 2009, 11:08 PM
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One contact is all it takes for you to lose months of progress.
Stay strong, you have been doing great and you are strong enough to make it through this.
No contact is what you need/needed to heal, no one will think that you are cold-hearted or mean. You have/had to do what is right to help you make it through this a stronger person.
Going out is difficult, you see couples and you want that companionship as well, but it isn't necessarily that you are missing your ex, but that relationship component to going out. Don't worry that will come in time.
Keep your head up and if drinking sets you back in your progress, then take some time off the drinking nights out. (Just a guess about the drinking)
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