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JudyKayTee · Mar 24, 2009, 06:02 AM

You can always go back to Court for clarification - here (in NY) a vacation specifically addressed trumps the "usual" visitation. As far as last year's birthday I don't think it legally has any impact on this year's birthday.

Do I think 4 hours is reasonable - no, but I'm not the mother.

msir · Mar 24, 2009, 06:10 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

You can always go back to Court for clarification - here (in NY) a vacation specifically addressed trumps the "usual" visitation. As far as last year's birthday I don't think it legally has any impact on this year's birthday.

Do I think 4 hours is reasonable - no, but I'm not the mother.

So the straight answer is she can take spring break over my visit?

Ok, well mom is saying that she wants to have b-day time from 12-4. Would that be reasonable? We really don't have time to get clarification since both events are next week

JudyKayTee · Mar 24, 2009, 06:24 AM

In NY, yes, the spring break cancels that week's visit - if the Order calls for her to have the child during spring break. It appears that that is how your Order was drafted.

If you have a split birthday and the child needs to wake up, get dressed, go to bed, maybe there only are 8 viable visiting hours in the day and the 4 hour limit is not unreasonable.

I think it's a short visit but, again, I'm not the mother and legally it doesn't look like specific hours are addressed.

cdad · Mar 24, 2009, 03:49 PM

If ever you do go back to court over visitation issues then I suggest you ask the courts to grant resolution by mediation when you 2 encounter a problem and it will keep you out of the courts. Another thing is that so long as the emails are reasonable then I don't see a problem with it. It seems she fears them because once you press send.. its forever.

msir · Mar 25, 2009, 05:21 AM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

If ever you do go back to court over visitation issues then I suggest you ask the courts to grant resolution by mediation when you 2 encounter a problem and it will keep you out of the courts. Another thing is that so long as the emails are reasonable then I dont see a problem with it. It seems she fears them because once you press send .. its forever.

Right now, she has blocked my email and told me to call about my child's upcoming birthday. So, if I don't call, and she doest call me, can I file contempt for not allowing me reasonable visitation

stevetcg · Mar 25, 2009, 05:51 AM

Originally Posted by msir

right now, she has blocked my email and told me to call about my childs upcoming bday. So, if I dont call, and she doest call me, can I file contempt for not allowing me reasonable visitation

Its not contempt if you do not try to make contact.

msir · Apr 8, 2009, 01:13 PM

I filed contempt for denial of visit, and motion to modify support against my ex. She hired a lawyer who sent me a 10 page discovery asking for lots of financial info. Because I didn't respond to it, the lawyer sent me warning letter and then sent me a motion to compel that asked for me to submit the infor and pay my ex's lawyers fees. Will I have to pay her lawyer fees even though I am the one filing the complaint because she denied me visitation?

twinkiedooter · Apr 8, 2009, 01:20 PM

You didn't respond to the Discovery regardless if it was one page or 10 pages. The attorney's fees can and will be awarded if the Judge has to take the time to hear the Motion to Compel Discovery. This is quite common procedure and is not an idle threat by the attorney. It's perfectly legal to ask for attorney's fees in order to get someone to comply with a discovery of financial matters. If you don't comply and have to go to a hearing, the Judge will ask you why you didn't comply and answer the questions and then award the attorney's fees to the other attorney. The attorney just can't charge you attorney's fees unless the Judge so orders them to be paid.

And yes, it does not matter who filed the complaint in the matter.

msir · Apr 8, 2009, 01:27 PM

Originally Posted by twinkiedooter

And yes, it does not matter who filed the complaint in the matter.

Why doesn't it matter when I am the victim?

I filed both a contempt/show cause against her as well as a motion to reduce CS because of financial hardship. As part of the show cause, ex could have got a public defender (free lawyer) so why should I have to pay. The motion to compel was asking for ridiculous financial info. I also filed a discover asking for infor. The ex didn't want to respond because she said it had nothting to do with the discovery and CS. She later gave it to me through her lawyer. I then sent a letter to the court stating I should have to pay her fees because she could have got a PD. I am the complaintant in this matter and don't see why I would have to end up paying her fees when I am trying to reduce support. If she is found guilt of contempt, do I still have to pay her fees. We go to court next week so I am trying to figure out what will happen if I haven't responded by then

cadillac59 · Apr 8, 2009, 02:24 PM

The contempt and discovery motions are two separate matters. It's no defense to a discovery motion that you've got a contempt going against the other side.

Discovery on financial info makes sense if you are seeking to modify support. Of course, you can do your own discovery request and ask the same sorts of questions and request production of the same sorts of docs, so do that.

Better respond to the discovery before the hearing with all of the financial documents you've got and with it send a response to the discovery request explaining what you are producing and, if not everything they are asking, why you cannot provide it all. Verfiy the response as well. This might avoid an order to compel and you might also get a break on the request for fees (judges don't have to award everything asked for in a motion to compel, and he/she might make a modest order for fees, like a few hundred bucks if you get the financial docs to the other side BEFORE the hearing).

Your contempt motion is just totally separate. She might be arraigned on the date of the hearing and the case will be set for further proceedings after that. That's about all I can tell you.

msir · Apr 8, 2009, 06:26 PM

Originally Posted by cadillac59

The contempt and discovery motions are two separate matters. It's no defense to a discovery motion that you've got a contempt going against the other side.

Discovery on financial info makes sense if you are seeking to modify support.

The discovery also include info asking about witnesses I may bring and a description of each date I was denied visitation

ScottGem · Apr 8, 2009, 06:50 PM

YOU opened the door on the financial info by asking for a modification of CS. If you hadn't done that, they may not have been able to ask for financial info. But as soon as you did, you opened that door and could not have ignored the discovery.

As soon as you found out your wife has an attorney, you should have gotten one of your own. Going pro se against an attorney means you are starting with two strikes against you.

msir · Apr 9, 2009, 05:19 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

YOU opened the door on the financial info by asking for a modification of CS. If you hadn't done that, they may not have been able to ask for financial info. But as soon as you did, you opened that door and could not have ignored the discovery.

As soon as you found out your wife has an attorney, you should have gotten one of your own. Going pro se against an attorney means you are starting with two strikes against you.

She is not my wife, we were never married, and we were not together when the child was born.

I went pro se because that's how the case started when she filed for custody. I did not know she would get a lawyer. I cannot afford a lawyer.

One of thee CS issues is that I am having economic hardship, also, if I am now paying CS for another child can they modify my child support to include that CS in this calculation?

Curlyben · Apr 9, 2009, 10:04 AM

>TWELVE Threads Merged<
They are all on the SAME issue so please don't continue to open new threads and stick to this one.

ScottGem · Apr 9, 2009, 10:16 AM

Doesn't matter whether its your ex wife or a one night stand. The fact is that you opened the door by asking for modification of CS.

If you are paying CS for more than one child, they may take that into account when figuring your CS.

But you can't afford NOT to have an attorney. The possibility of losing when you go pro se against an attorney is too high.

JudyKayTee · Apr 9, 2009, 11:43 AM

Heads up to everyone! Unless you read through this entire thread (some 54 posts) you cannot figure out the background, which is needed to have an opinion.

Personally - I glazed over.

msir · Apr 9, 2009, 01:51 PM

The question posted has nothing to do with the question on page one, which is why I don't understand why the moderator merged them.

JudyKayTee · Apr 9, 2009, 02:05 PM

Here's why: "TWELVE Threads Merged<
They are all on the SAME issue so please don't continue to open new threads and stick to this one."

this8384 · Apr 9, 2009, 02:05 PM

Originally Posted by msir

the question posted has nothing to do with the question on page one, which is why i dont understand why the moderator merged them.

Unless it's a brand new case with a brand new woman and a brand new child, all of your threads are related and that's why they got merged.

msir · Apr 15, 2009, 10:55 AM

OK, thanks for the clarification.

Well, I received a letter from court granted my ex motion to compel. It said I had to respond to the it within 5 days. I submitted it on last day. It also said the request for my to pay my ex's atty fees will be assessed at a future time, which I guess will be at the hearing. What is the likelihood that I will still have to pay my ex's atty fees now that Ive given information?