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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #21

    Mar 28, 2009, 11:18 AM

    But now he is not, Hmmmmmmmmmmmm!!
    batman76's Avatar
    batman76 Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #22

    Mar 28, 2009, 11:42 AM

    Sounds to me the he more issues than both of you think,he needs to be alone away from you and find out what is wrong with his life that is making him so mad.
    R-J-S-InLove's Avatar
    R-J-S-InLove Posts: 80, Reputation: 2
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    #23

    Mar 28, 2009, 12:03 PM

    He's not satisfied with is job , has issues in his family , also he's had a very troubled childhood...
    Could this be the reason??
    batman76's Avatar
    batman76 Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #24

    Mar 28, 2009, 12:59 PM

    All I'm saying is the he needs space and think you know that
    R-J-S-InLove's Avatar
    R-J-S-InLove Posts: 80, Reputation: 2
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    #25

    Apr 4, 2009, 08:26 AM

    He checked my mails and is disappointed that m in touch with boys and that I share a few of my problems with them. Told me m I nt enuf for you to and share??
    Is it wrong that I shared a few of my probs with others even though I got a boyfriend??
    R-J-S-InLove's Avatar
    R-J-S-InLove Posts: 80, Reputation: 2
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    #26

    Apr 5, 2009, 04:05 AM

    Oh now he's come up with a new rule... said you are my girlfriend so no contacts with guys whatsoever, he doesn't want me to communicate to any male in any way...


    I just don't know why, first he was so free about it, he didn't mind me hanging around with my guy friends but now what??
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #27

    Apr 5, 2009, 07:49 AM

    If you don't like it, why put up with it, or his BS?

    Your finding out some bad things about him, and there should be that much love in the world, for you to be manipulated, or controlled, by this ego tripping, insecure, little boy.

    Is there??
    R-J-S-InLove's Avatar
    R-J-S-InLove Posts: 80, Reputation: 2
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    #28

    Apr 5, 2009, 08:36 AM
    OK, but I just can't go up to him and say I'm dumping you cause you are manipulating me can I??

    There were times when I really badly needed someone and at that time he was there

    That's why am so mixed up
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #29

    Apr 5, 2009, 10:28 AM
    Tell him, "My feelings have changed, and I'm confused, and need a break to think" like everyone else does.

    There were times when I really badly needed someone and at that time he was there
    So what your saying is his good points, out weigh his bad points??
    R-J-S-InLove's Avatar
    R-J-S-InLove Posts: 80, Reputation: 2
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    #30

    Apr 5, 2009, 10:33 AM

    Well yes as well as no

    Yes cause in this relation so far he'd just been good and nothing else , but since last 2 months he's sometimes good, sometimes mad at me, cries sometimes its all confusing me...
    R-J-S-InLove's Avatar
    R-J-S-InLove Posts: 80, Reputation: 2
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    #31

    Apr 6, 2009, 11:20 AM

    Hey my boyfriend asked me again if I'd like to marry him, I didn't say no but I neither said yes...

    He said he is changing now and will be back to his old loving self again, should I believe him??
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #32

    Apr 6, 2009, 11:22 AM

    My thoughts on that are a great quote I heard on a TV show, "A person is not who they were during the last conversation you had with them, they are who they have been all along"

    If that doesn't make sense, you could always go with "actions speak louder than words"
    88sunflower's Avatar
    88sunflower Posts: 1,207, Reputation: 462
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    #33

    Apr 6, 2009, 12:15 PM

    I agree for sure! Red flag! I also agree if he changed when you moved to his city he is hiding something for sure. Your putting a damper on his lifestyle being so close to him now. Move back home.
    R-J-S-InLove's Avatar
    R-J-S-InLove Posts: 80, Reputation: 2
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    #34

    Apr 6, 2009, 11:22 PM

    Well its not that I'm in constant contact with my guy just because I've moved to his city, it's the same as we being in different cities, we have contrasting schedules...

    The first month when I moved to his city I had no place to go and had no idea where to live and what to do, he was there for me at that time went out of his way to help me and see me settled well, even took days off just to be with me so that I wouldn't feel homesick



    Then after a month his behavior took a sudden turn, he'd become angry over small things, try to control me and always wanted me to be giving him every small detail of what I'm doing.


    So I did try to talk to him and said that he is not the same guy I fell in love with and he tells me he knows he's changed.

    So now he comes and apologizes for all this and tells me that he had some problem with his family that is the reason he was always in a bad mood. Now he's sorted that out and ready to be there for me for the rest of his life!!


    The reason I'm so reluctant to leave him is that this is the first time in our relation that he's ever got angry on me. Otherwise before he'd never raised his voice or done anything that would upset me. He was sweet to the extend of saying sorry and buying gifts for me to please me after a fight even if I was the in fault...

    I'm so confused...
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #35

    Apr 7, 2009, 04:28 AM

    There really is nothing to be confused about, as we all put our best foot forward in the beginning, and everything is peachy keen.

    When the honeymoon is over, and real life sets in, we start to see the rest of the package, and in a different light.

    That's when the decisions come in, as to whether you still can live with what you are learning, or is it even worth it.

    That's where you are now, and that's what you ask yourself. Can you handle the good/bad your learning about this guy, and is he worth it?
    R-J-S-InLove's Avatar
    R-J-S-InLove Posts: 80, Reputation: 2
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    #36

    Apr 7, 2009, 10:23 AM

    You are making this decision even more tough to make, cause actually after the marriage proposal he's never fought or tried to be controlling...

    But I feel you are right because this may be a trait of his personality that he had not shown before
    R-J-S-InLove's Avatar
    R-J-S-InLove Posts: 80, Reputation: 2
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    #37

    Apr 10, 2009, 10:56 AM

    Well I don't know whether I did it right or not but...

    I dumped him!!

    I said love me for what I am not for what you want me to be...

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