Hello, I am really depressed about something. I know a boy since last two years. We've been into a relationship for almost a year now. What attracted me towards him was his gentle manners and his sensitivity. He was very calm and cool. We have actually been having a long distance relationship. All was fine but then I shifted to his city 2 months ago and since then all has changed

He doubts me, is extremely jealous of all my male friends. What puts me off the most is that he's angry about everything that I do. All he sees is my faults. Also he's been putting a lot of restrictions on me...

Please help me understand this sudden change
I truly love him and want to know why is he so pissed off about everything and why does he get mad about small immaterial things... :confused:

I think he's upset that you moved to his city, for some reason I have a feeling he's hiding something you don't know.. hmm.

Confront your boyfriend on how you feel and provide him with examples of what he's is doing differently.

Goodluck to you!

MRS.S

I think your getting a close up better view of this guy, and he doesn't match your previous impressions.

Talaniman is right. Also, it sounds like your guy has some potential for abusiveness, despite your early impressions of him. Run like the chill autumn wind!

But I love him...
It does seem that he's hiding something, there are times when he does say sorry about his behavior.

I talked with him about this sudden change and he said he himself doesn't know what's wrong, told me he's become like that with everyone not only me...

Overtime peoples true nature emerges, and you must also decide what is over the line, or not. Be honest in letting him know what's appropriate, or not, and know what you will tolerate or not. If you can handle his faults, all good. If you cannot, then that's your decision to make.

Communicating and expressing yourself is what's the key here, so you can see for yourself if you can work together to solve these problems.

If nothing changes..?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Overtime peoples true nature emerges, and you must also decide what is over the line, or not. Be honest in letting him know whats appropriate, or not, and know what you will tolerate or not. If you can handle his faults, all good. If you cannot, then thats your decision to make.

Communicating and expressing yourself is whats the key here, so you can see for yourself if you can work together to solve these problems.

If nothing changes.......................???

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Ok...

I'll talk it out with him

Actually right now am back home, and I don't know how to put it but he wants me to stay indoors

Told me not to go out... I have to go to another city to fill an important form on Saturday, I am doing engineering and its my final year and all he told me is don't go to fill the form its for your own safety

Now he very well knows that I am a girl who can manage herself very well

I've been traveling alone to many places since last 4-5 years sometimes even at nights, nothing has ever happened to me...


But still he says he's just being "protective" about me

What do you mean by he told you to stay home for your own safety? You really need to explain the extent of his actions, and is that a threat or not? That's a little to controlling and my question is why do you listen to that kind of racket from him? If you don't make a stand against bad behavior, you can expect more of it. Handle your business, and if you fear for your own safety, get the freak out. You didn't convey any urgency or danger in your original post and response so if I'm wrong, still get the freak out.

A guy who thwarts your future plan, and tries to isolate, and control your actions, is no freaking good for you.

I just don't know... He thinks everybody in the outside world is there just to take my advantage...
He's become over protective about me... hates all my male friends he even verbally abused one...
Then again there are times when he's sweet and mellow...
I don't know what flips his lid all of a sudden...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by R-J-S-InLove

I don't know what flips his lid all of a sudden....

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That is a red flag m'dear.

MRS.S

You should have been gone, as you can't be happy being his protected pet, can you?

Yes, you do know what to do. You have enough info to make a really good decision for yourself. He is, what he is, and its not that great in the long run. That you know!

Will he change? Why should he? Your going along with his screwed up program!

You checked him out, learned the facts, don't like it, time to let go and find a healthier way to live.

I really don't want to break up with him, we are very serious, are families know about us, he proposed me a few months ago

Is there no way to solve this...

You could go to counseling?

But really, the way he's acting now won't be any better [sometimes getting married has of this magical thing of magnifiying problems]. So imagine dealing with that for 5 years if you don't seek counseling.

Oh yea counseling only works when both parties want to go. If he's not ready to change well good luck beating a dead horse.

MRS.S

My dear, he hasn't changed, you've just become aware of his true self.

Your solution is to leave him alone, and see if he does change without your influence, while you heal, and get a clear vision of reality, based on facts, and not just feelings.

He just called to say sorry said he's really frustrated because of work load and that's y he's talking out all frustration on me...

We talked and at one point I asked him does he trust(3-4 times in anger he's told me he doesn't fully trust me anymore) and he was silent

I hung up one him...

This is all so depressing...

Then he calls back again and says sorry
Blaming work pressure, family problems and all for all this

What confuses me is that he open;y accepts the fact that his behavior has changed and that the change is hurting me
Says he's lost...

Oh m sooooooo mixed up

Take a break from him, you need it!

His game has got to be getting old, aren't you tired of playing yet? Take a LONG deserved break from him and his crap

I took a break
The thing is he was ready to give me all the time I needed to reconsider us
I decided to give him one more chance...

But the thing is we are again into trouble
He thinks I don't respect his family and m rude to all
Actually once I was a bit frustrated and was not in a mood of talking to one of his family members(on call) I'm sure I didn't say anything rude or insulting
I really care for his family
But now he thinks I hate them and I'm showing ATTITUDE...

He doesn't sound patient, nor understanding at all. Has he changed?

Yes, he has changed because he was sooooooooooo understanding before