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    alsa's Avatar
    alsa Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Apr 1, 2009, 03:11 PM
    Should I go to the party?
    I went out with a boy during one year and a half. It was intense. In August we went two weekends to their parents house, in the beach. Their parents and sisters with their children's were there too. I felt right with all of them

    Then in September he splited up with me saying that he wanted to alone for a while, like a break, I think. But two weeks later he called me saying that he had kissed another girl. I started to see on the Facebook with her. I felt so bad a so, so jealous.they started to going out.
    I decided to deleted him as a friend on Facebook,because I cand stand see their photos, but he called me again, a bit furious asking why I had deleted him if we were still friends.
    So I had to accepted him again. As a result I never look Facebook again and I won't never do it again.but why he wants to have me as a friend? to look their happy photos?


    The problem is that in two weeks there will be a party in his town, and I know he and she, of course, they are going to go. I'm afraid of seeing them together.when I see them, if she started to kiss him, as I think she will do, I don't think I can stand it.

    So I shoul go or not? what do you do in my case?
    Thanks
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #2

    Apr 1, 2009, 03:21 PM

    Wait a second! If you don't want to his friend you don't have. So what if he get mad behind it he don't control you and you owe him nothing.

    You need to stop all forms of communication with him and stop giving himself his needs. You do what's best for you by looking out for yourself and your best interest.

    Your life is your life and what he wants is not your problem, if anything it's his new girlfriend problem.

    If you don't want to see him and isn't strong enough to see him with his girlfriend--don't go. You won't be able to enjoy yourself.
    jeffrey michael's Avatar
    jeffrey michael Posts: 68, Reputation: 6
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    #3

    Apr 1, 2009, 03:27 PM

    I completely agree forget him, he don't control you.

    If you don't think that you can go and have fun then I would not go.

    Not because I'm letting him get the best of me its because Im doing what's best for me and regardless of what he thinks of me, Im going to get over the relationship we had in my own time.
    alsa's Avatar
    alsa Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Apr 2, 2009, 08:09 AM
    Your answers are very good. I know he don't controlled me, obviously, but there is something more. The fact it's that I still love him, and I want let him back again, with me. So I want he knows that I'm a good girl, happy and fun. My friends try to convince me to go, and I really want go if I could know I won't go to see them. But this isn't sure.

    I know I should forget him but I'm in love with him, even if he has a new girlfriend...
    spitvenom's Avatar
    spitvenom Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 373
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    #5

    Apr 2, 2009, 08:16 AM

    Liz and Jeffery are right. You don't have to be his friend who cares if he gets mad. I know you say you are still in love with him but he has a new GF now and you have to move on.

    If you can't handle seeing him do not go to that party. But don't sit at home that night. Grab some of your friends and go out. Meet some new people just stay active. You will be OK.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Apr 2, 2009, 12:38 PM

    If it's a problem, don't go! You don't have to be friends with either of them, so why party with them?
    elvis22's Avatar
    elvis22 Posts: 8, Reputation: 2
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    #7

    Apr 2, 2009, 12:43 PM

    Honestly that would make me so angry when he is making make him a priority and he's making you an option.
    I can almost guarantee that if she dumps him he will come crawling back and he will think nothings wrong with that because you made him number 1
    alsa's Avatar
    alsa Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Apr 6, 2009, 08:03 AM

    Hi everybody!! the party I told you is on Friday, 10th, but yesterday I went to another party and I saw them. They didn't see me, I think and I hope too...
    In that moment I felt strange, I started to think in him doing the same things he did with me but now with her, I mean, go shopping, introducing her in his family, his friends... I I felt sick. When I arrived at home I started to cry. But fortunately, and I pride of it, I didn't started to cry alone, when anyone could see me.
    Now, I was looking, her photos on Facebook, and I saw everybody is happy with her.I mean her friends, my antique-friends (friends of my ex), and my ex too.she is nice, talkative, happy, extrovert, fun,. everything more than me... so what can I do to feel a little better?
    Ren6's Avatar
    Ren6 Posts: 539, Reputation: 121
    Senior Member
     
    #9

    Apr 6, 2009, 08:07 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by alsa View Post
    hi everybody!!!the party i told you is on friday, 10th, but yesterday i went to another party and i saw them. they didn't see me, i think and i hope too...
    in that moment i felt strange, i started to think in him doing the same things he did with me but now with her, i mean, go shopping, introducing her in his family, his friends...i i felt sick. when i arrived at home i started to cry. but fortunately, and i pride of it, i didn't started to cry alone, when anyone could see me.
    now, i was looking, her photos on facebook, and i saw everybody is happy with her.i mean her friends, my antique-friends (friends of my ex), and my ex too.she is nice, talkative, happy, extrovert, fun,...everything more than me....so what can i do to feel a little better??
    Stop going to the same parties and quit looking at his Facebook account.
    spitvenom's Avatar
    spitvenom Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 373
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    #10

    Apr 6, 2009, 08:08 AM

    First thing stop looking at her and his Facebook page. You are rubbing salt in your own wounds. You now know that seeing them together hurts and I am sure you knew it would before you saw them together. On the night of the next party ask a few of your friends to not go to the party ask them to do something with you. Go out to a club or a movie or shopping just anything to get your mind off them.
    starlite1's Avatar
    starlite1 Posts: 753, Reputation: 58
    Senior Member
     
    #11

    Apr 6, 2009, 08:09 AM

    Hi Alsa,

    If you really want to start feeling better, you need to remove yourself completely from his life. This includes deleting as a friend from Facebook, or better yet, deleting your account from Facebook. Also, DO NOT go to that party on the 10th. You will be miserable and you will be setting yourself up for more misery. You need to heal from this, and risking seeing him with his new girlfriend is not the way to go about it.

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