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34jmar · Mar 25, 2009, 01:18 PM

Im a step dad where my daughter has chosen to stay and live withme rather than her mother. I've raised her since she's been 3 y.o she is know 14. I recently have filed to adopt her. Do I have rights? Can she take my daughter away even though I filed for adoption

stevetcg · Mar 25, 2009, 01:34 PM

What state do you live in? What is your current state of relationship with the child's mother? What is the child's biological father's story?

These will all factor into what rights you might have.

34jmar · Mar 25, 2009, 02:21 PM

I live in California,the mother and I are going to divorce, the father is not around he's not even in the country and has never acknowledged her

stevetcg · Mar 25, 2009, 02:39 PM

Originally Posted by 34jmar

i live in California,the mother and I are going to divorce, the father is not around he's not even in the country and has never acknowledged her

I am going to leave this one for one of our CA experts. CA law is different than a lot of the country and Cadillac59 is the resident expert on CA Family Law. I suspect he will be along shortly.

If he doesn't post tonight, I'll do the research and get back to you in the morning (edt)

34jmar · Mar 25, 2009, 03:15 PM

Thanks Ill appreciate that

stevetcg · Mar 26, 2009, 11:21 AM

This is what I found.

California Family Code, Section 3101
(a) Notwithstanding any other provision of law, the court may grant reasonable visitation to a stepparent, if visitation by the stepparent is determined to be in the best interest of the minor child.

(b) If a protective order, as defined in Section 6218, has been directed to a stepparent to whom visitation may be granted pursuant to this section, the court shall consider whether the best interest of the child requires that any visitation by the stepparent be denied.

(c) Visitation rights may not be ordered under this section that would conflict with a right of custody or visitation of a birth parent who is not a party to the proceeding.

(d) As used in this section:

(1) "Birth parent" means "birth parent" as defined in Section 8512.

(2) "Stepparent" means a person who is a party to the marriage that is the subject of the proceeding, with respect to a minor child of the other party to the marriage.

In short, you seem to be able to file for visitation.

stevetcg · Mar 26, 2009, 11:32 AM

See also the post by Claire on this link for more discussion...

Step Parent Rights in California

34jmar · Mar 26, 2009, 11:33 AM

Thanks for info. Why is it that when a man is stepping up the law seems never to support them. All I want is to raise my daughter eveb though she's not my blood. It's funny my daughter says I'm more of a mother than her mom.Well I'll see what happens with the adoption because I filed for adoption

stevetcg · Mar 26, 2009, 11:39 AM

Originally Posted by 34jmar

thanks for info. why is it that when a man is stepping up the law seems never to support them. all i want is to raise my daughter eveb though she's not my blood. It's funny my daughter says im more of a mother than her mom.Well i'll see what happens with the adoption because i filed for adoption

The good news is that CA is progressive in this respect. I am not sure how the adoption will go with you separating from the mother. Only a lawyer and judge will be able to help there.

At any rate, adoption or not, it seems as though you will remain a part of your daughter's life for the foreseeable future. If she is with you, it seems as though the mother is at least agreeable to it. If you and your ex continue to agree, I cannot see any reason why your relationship and custodianship of your daughter will change. After all, it doesn't seem like you want anything more than to be a dad.

Something I can relate to...