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mintah50 · Mar 10, 2009, 06:54 PM

It almost been 4 weeks I have not seen my now so called ex. We left off on bad terms on my behalf I would say because I couldn't accept him breaking up with me. My school is not that much of a big campus and I'm going to eventually run into him.When we broke up there was some things I wanted to say but could not at that time. When I see him I'm going to be mature about it and make sure I say hello and KIM -keep it moving . I feel like I don't really need to say what I wanted to say 4 weeks ago. Do you believe I should say what was on my mind 4 weeks ago just to set things straight or can I just leave it alone.

Do I really have to clear the air?

Also do I really have to be his friend or is it a good idea to stay close with your ex?

friend4u178 · Mar 10, 2009, 06:59 PM

Leave it as it is and continue healing. No point going back a few steps.

And no being friends until Both parties are over each other.

chuff · Mar 10, 2009, 07:09 PM

The problem with saying what's on in your mind is you have then proven to him you think about him and it bothers you. This sucks for you to be sure, but the more you give him as far as a voice the more power you give him as well.

liz28 · Mar 10, 2009, 07:17 PM

Leave it alone and no you don't have to his friend. It not written no where that if you break up with someone you have to be their friend that is entirely up to the two people involve. So being friend is optional.

If you really feel like you have to clear the air and get something off your chest than write it down on a piece of paper to let it out and keep it.

nikosmom · Mar 10, 2009, 08:23 PM

Don't let him have that power. It's normal to hurt but when you feel the need to call him up to give him a piece of your mind, dial a friend instead. Get it out and yet he doesn't get the satisfaction of knowing you're still thinking about him.

You don't have to be his friend, who said you do? You can be cordial but if that's all you can handle, then you're not obligated to do more.

JoeCanada76 · Mar 10, 2009, 08:26 PM

I agree, Leave it be, keep it moving and no need to bring up things that are old and that you do not feel to share. As far as being close to an ex, why would you be. It is not necessary. You do not have to be his friend or anything for that matter. Do not worry about what is expected by others but do right for yourself.

mintah50 · Mar 10, 2009, 10:05 PM

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

I agree, Leave it be, keep it moving and no need to bring up things that are old and that you do not feel to share. As far as being close to an ex, why would you be. It is not necessary. You do not have to be his friend or anything for that matter. Do not worry about what is expected by others but do right for yourself.

It true I need to make a decision myself what right for me and not what right for others that what I need to learn. I made my decision that it not right for us to be friends it will just be too complicated HI and Bye is enough. And it not out of hate or despite Amen

kctiger · Mar 11, 2009, 05:38 AM

There are going to be many times and many people who walk in and out of your life, sometimes so fast that you feel like the end was just the beginning. The others have given great advice. You owe him nothing, and you owe it to yourself, more than anything. To just let this go. You create your own closure, and don't rely on him giving it to you (by you clearing the air with him). Boyfriends and girlfriends are going to come and go, no question about it... but friends, true friends, will always be there for you.

Good luck!

talaniman · Mar 11, 2009, 05:45 AM

Clear what air? There is no more to say as its time to leave that drama behind and get back into this great big world full of options and opportunities.

Don't worry about being his friend now, too much pain to really enjoy it. Later for that idea, much later.

Romefalls19 · Mar 11, 2009, 08:10 AM

Painful friendship is not one I would want to be in. Which is what you will be in if you try and be a friend now

jmw0713 · Mar 11, 2009, 10:04 AM

Leave everything with this failed relationship in the past. Look forward to the future and start living your free and single life!

Being single is not as bad a people say it is...

Just ask a lot of us here! Sure it's painful at first, but once you start truly moving forward, it's way more fun than living through the sunset of the last relationship.

This is time to live, to have fun, to go out with friends, and to accomplish goals that fell by the wayside. Anything that you let go because of the time and effort you spent working on your relationship, should be looked at as a priority now!

Have fun!

MiSSsy111222 · Mar 11, 2009, 10:35 AM

Just walk on... with you dignity in tact. Keep moving on. Getting what's on your mind out will not change anything. Through experience I say don't waste your time.

mintah50 · Mar 11, 2009, 10:51 PM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Painful friendship is not one I would want to be in. Which is what you will be in if you try and be a friend now

To tell you the truth I don't know the reason why. But for some reason I don't want to know , the way he broke up with me was for a stupid reason. I talked to alots of people about this. He just kept on saying I'm not the person you think I am, you open up more than I can to you, I don't want to be in a relationship right now , I see you as a friend and I want to be your friend and be there for your problems, also I know I'm a for doing this I understand if you don't want any contact between us or hate me. He also made hiself believe that I was madly in love with him and I clear the air on that and told him just because I said I loved you doesn't mean I'm in love with you. Then he was speechless.I wasn't in love with him I love who he was that why I was with him because his characther and being hard working. But I ask myself was he putting on a act ? I really don't have time to hate him that just a waste of my life. But one thing is I don't understand how he can be the first person to say you love me and then fire it back on me when he broke up with me. That where I was shock this all came out of no where. I don't want someone to be with me out of pity or feeling uncomfortable. But another thing why I can't be his friend because when dumping me he tried to blame everything on me like he was talking down on me . I also have respect for myself and I wasn't going to take that so I walked away , and that was the last time I saw him. It almost 5weeks

talaniman · Mar 12, 2009, 12:24 AM

Life is to short to force a friendship with someone that doesn't know what it means. There are many better choices out there so move forward and make some real friends. He pushed you away, so leave him alone.

He is right, you don't know some things about him, but you learned.