[Withoutr]

We have two kids one is 5 and the other is 2. We are currently living separately. We both work and I would get off earlier and pick up the kids. I would go home and make dinner for us before she got home. It started of her saying she was sick, tired, or just not feeling good and by that me and the kids would get pushed away. It happened for a long period though. We couldn't go out because we have nobody to take care of kids and if someone said yes they would flake out the last minute. We bought a house together a couple months ago but has been hell after that. I would tell her to invite her friends over to hang out but they would never come. We would fight about things but most of my problem was just her not doing her part with the kids and felt like I was alone at everything; I felt like I had no support towards her part in anything. I also come home tired or with headaches and she can't be the only one but she never looked at it that way or maybe I just felt that I wasn't important to her which I don't know. I would ask her to let me know if something was bothering her but I never got an answer only that she wasn't feeling right. Time went by and she started going out with friends. Of course her as a third person they would take somebody for her and after that it all went down the drain. I felt abandoned along with my kids. Every night she would leave and come back in the morning which really had me going. For about 3 months I couldn't take it and left the house because it was too much. It was the nights of her not there and also pictures she would save on our computer of them and I had enough. I don't know what my next step should be I would like to get some info. From someone on what I could do. I am a family guy who loves to be with kids and wife but I don't want to let everything go without a fight. But should I just let it go?

[Handyman Wannab]

Sorry to here what's going on its really sad, as I read your story I thought I wrote it because I went through the same thing 5 years ago.
As my wife went out every night and came home all hours in the morning it drove me nuts.Don't let this go on any longer talk to your wife ,ask her straight out if she wants this marriage .
In my case we went our separate ways, the only people who gets hurt are the kids ,find some help ,talk to a professional ,wish you the best .

[Knightrider1965]

Are you sure that our wife's are not related some how. Your description sound so erie they my have been separated at birth. My wife and I have been married for 10 years. She to would lay around and not help with the house or the kids. I tried to talk with her on several occasions which always resulted in an argument. Last May she finally left but when she did, she took of with the kids. I finally found out that she was having an affair with someone who I thought of as one of my best friends. I am not saying that this is happening in your case. There are other factors that can come into play such as not wanting to clean house or take care of kids could be a psycological problem as well. I would first suggest trying to get both you and herself into marriage counciling. Its worth a try if you wish to save your marriage. The main thing about councilng is it will only work if you are both willing. In my case after 4 sessions the councilor told me that I needed to divorce her because she wasn't willing to change and I was.

[Withoutr]

Are you sure that our wifes are not related some how. Your description sound so erie they my have been seperated at birth. My wife and I have been married for 10 years. She to would lay around and not help with the house or the kids. I tried to talk with her on several occassions which always resulted in an argument. Last May she finally left but when she did, she took of with the kids. I finally found out that she was having an affair with someone who I thought of as one of my best friends. I am not saying that this is happening in your case. There are other factors that can come into play such as not wanting to clean house or take care of kids could be a psycological problem as well. I would first suggest trying to get both you and herself into marriage counciling. Its worth a try if you wish to save your marriage. The main thing about councilng is it will only work if you are both willing. In my case after 4 sessions the councilor told me that I needed to divorce her because she wasn't willing to change and I was.

It is now all coming to an end. I am now currently started a case to try to get full custody of my kids. Wish me the best. She'll never change and that is what it is now. Its sad to see it all go down but like you said there is nothing you can do if you're the only one willing to make things work.

[Knightrider1965]

I wish you all the luck in the world! But be prepared for things to possibly get very nasty. I am currently trying to get freedom from mine and also trying to get the custody of our 2 minor children. Every time our court date comes up it gets postponed. Been trying since May.

[Withoutr]

I wish you all the luck in the world! But be prepared for things to possibly get very nasty. I am currently trying to get freedom from mine and also trying to get the custody of our 2 minor children. Everytime our court date comes up it gets postponed. Been trying since May.

Yeah mine is going the same way. I also cannot wait to get my freedom back with my kids; its just wrong on how all these things come out to be overall. I've always been with my kids throughout all this time the way you're suppose to be with your kids and now I just got a call today saying she wants to keep them; which I don't see why she would want to be around them as much if the time she had with them didn't matter to her. I Pray to God that everything works out fine but more for my kids.

[Knightrider1965]

Yeah mine flew with the kids as well. The latest with mine is we are going to have to attend parenting classes together starting Monday night. I am just so not looking forward to having to set across the room from her. She only took the kids to hurt me.

[Withoutr]

Yeah mine flew with the kids as well. The latest with mine is we are going to have to attend parenting classes together starting Monday night. I am just so not looking foward to having to set across the room from her. She only took the kids to hurt me.

Yeah, man. I went to my court day and just my luck the judge was a girl and she was so rude to me; she didn't even let me talk. She said, "Shut your mouth. I don't want to hear anything you have to say." But she gave us 50/50 on the kids but I had to leave my house and let her stay there. But now I have some time for myself which going through all this sometimes is a good thing. So now I just have to struggle and get by this and start my new life of my own. Hope everything gets better for you even though all this is really hard to get by but you have to do what you have to do for yourself.

[GeorgeMcCasland]

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
I’ve been a Father’s Rights Advocate for 20 years.

Many think the courts are rigged against dads, but in reality, it is more about attorneys unwilling or lacking the knowledge to truly fight for the father's rights. This is why it is important to learn how to interview and hire the right attorney. It is also important to do as much as possible on your own and not pay the attorney to do it.

Part of the problem with getting your rights knowing what to do to prove your case, and how to remind the judge of their responsibilities. Let me start with the judge.

Always take people with you to court who are not there to testify. Make sure they are sitting where the judge can see them, each equipped with a tablet and pen to take notes. It’s best to use a Court Watch Form designed for this purpose. I have one in the manual at Dads House.

If the judge is not doing his job, using the info from this form, you can, appeal, and/or get the judge sanctioned and removed from the case. You file a complaint with the State Supreme Court at your state capital.

Start keeping a daily journal of all your activities. The most common way to prevent a father from getting his rights through the courts is a false allegation, usually sexual. Over 60% of divorcing father are accused of child sexual abuse, of which only 4% are found to have any relevance, but there are no penalties for doing so. A daily journal is your number one piece of evidence in court and you can even refer to it while on the stand.

Gather evidence. Check the site below to see if it is illegal to record conversations without the other person knowing. If your state does not have a law either way, than it defaults to the federal ruling which says one person in a conversation must know they are being recorded. You’re that one person. In Missouri it is specifically legal, in Kansas there is no mention either way. If you live in two different states, and one has a law against it, than it applies when the call originates from within that state,
"Can We Tape?"

Now, you can't just record, you also have to transcribe it into the daily journal.

If you want to learn how to do all this go to Dads House in Yahoo Groups. There's an educational manual in the file section that can teach you what you need to know. Take the time to learn what you can and should do.

DadsHouse : Building a Shelter for Fathers/Children
GiveKidsAChoice : Bird Nest Custody
Fathers & Families
Parental Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome Home Page

[Withoutr]

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
I’ve been a Father’s Rights Advocate for 20 years.

Many think the courts are rigged against dads, but in reality, it is more about attorneys unwilling or lacking the knowledge to truly fight for the father's rights. This is why it is important to learn how to interview and hire the right attorney. It is also important to do as much as possible on your own and not pay the attorney to do it.

Part of the problem with getting your rights knowing what to do to prove your case, and how to remind the judge of their responsibilities. Let me start with the judge.

Always take people with you to court who are not there to testify. Make sure they are sitting where the judge can see them, each equipped with a tablet and pen to take notes. It’s best to use a Court Watch Form designed for this purpose. I have one in the manual at Dads House.

If the judge is not doing his job, using the info from this form, you can, appeal, and/or get the judge sanctioned and removed from the case. You file a complaint with the State Supreme Court at your state capital.

Start keeping a daily journal of all your activities. The most common way to prevent a father from getting his rights through the courts is a false allegation, usually sexual. Over 60% of divorcing father are accused of child sexual abuse, of which only 4% are found to have any relevance, but there are no penalties for doing so. A daily journal is your number one piece of evidence in court and you can even refer to it while on the stand.

Gather evidence. Check the site below to see if it is illegal to record conversations without the other person knowing. If your state does not have a law either way, than it defaults to the federal ruling which says one person in a conversation must know they are being recorded. You’re that one person. In Missouri it is specifically legal, in Kansas there is no mention either way. If you live in two different states, and one has a law against it, than it applies when the call originates from within that state,
"Can We Tape?"

Now, you can't just record, you also have to transcribe it into the daily journal.

If you want to learn how to do all this go to Dads House in Yahoo Groups. There's an educational manual in the file section that can teach you what you need to know. Take the time to learn what you can and should do.

DadsHouse : Building a Shelter for Fathers/Children
GiveKidsAChoice : Bird Nest Custody
Fathers & Families
Parental Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome Home Page

Thanks for the information. Anything can help at this point. Thanks for for your time.