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Confused Woman · Feb 17, 2009, 05:29 PM

What does it mean when your guy on the side only wants you to provide then with oral satification? And the only time you have sex together is when you intiate it o but if you don't you are only pleasing him. Why would a guy do that to a girl that they've known for years?

liz28 · Feb 17, 2009, 05:34 PM

Because he doesn't care about you and only wants sex, well at least oral. But you should care more about your husband than your ex and this needs to be combine with your thread. No need to start a new thread on the same thing regarding the same issue.

Confused Woman · Feb 17, 2009, 05:40 PM

Originally Posted by liz28

Because he doesn't care about you and only wants sex, well at least oral. But you should care more about your husband than your ex and this needs to be combine with your thread. No need to start a new thread on the same thing regarding the same issue.

I always want to know the answer to this question. Do you really think that he doesn't care about me and we've known each other for years? And your right I should care more about my husband's needs than my ex. I just can't and don't want to believe that's all I was to him.

liz28 · Feb 17, 2009, 05:46 PM

Well believe it and open your eyes and go get some counselling for yourself.

linnealand · Feb 17, 2009, 05:53 PM

You're talking about the married man, right? Well, he knows you haven't been faithful to your husband, and he can't know just how promiscuous you've been, but he might have a gut feeling. It could be that he doesn't want to do more because he doesn't want to risk catching any potential diseases that he could bring home to share with his wife.

He's also not returning the favor because he's using you. Otherwise he's just a selfish lover. Selfish applies to both of you. You're both married, and you're both fooling around on your spouses. I think the one thing you've really gotten right is your name. You sound like a very confused woman. I hope you get your life back on track.

Confused Woman · Feb 17, 2009, 05:57 PM

Originally Posted by linnealand

you're talking about the married man, right? well, he knows you haven't been faithful to your husband, and he can't know just how promiscuous you've been, but he might have a gut feeling. it could be that he doesn't want to do more because he doesn't want to risk catching any potential diseases that he could bring home to share with his wife.

he's also not returning the favor because he's using you. otherwise he's just a selfish lover. selfish applies to both of you. you're both married, and you're both fooling around on your spouses. i think the one thing you've really gotten right is your name. you sound like a very confused woman. i hope you get your life back on track.

That I am very confused and I don't like not being in control of my life. He has performed oral on me a handful of times and we have sex HE doesn't want to use protection because he claims that it will be only his wife and I he will be with and I told him only my husband and him... stupid I know but thank god no diseases but it is scary... trusting my ex so much...

Fr_Chuck · Feb 17, 2009, 06:20 PM

If you are going to cheat on your husband ( and you should not) at least get one that is giving you money and things and giving you sex.

You are nothing more than it appears a non paid hooker for this other man. And one that he knows will not talk or complain since you are married

DSM521 · Feb 17, 2009, 06:30 PM

Originally Posted by Confused Woman

That I am very confused and I dont like not being in control of my life. He has performed oral on me a handful of times and we have sex HE doesnt want to use protection because he claims that it will be only his wife and I he will be with and I told him only my husband and him.....stupid I know but thank god no diseases but it is scary....trusting my ex so much......

Listen to yourself

"I don't like not being in control of my own life"

"He has preformed oral on me a handful of times"

"thank god no diseases but it is scary....trusting my ex so much"

My gosh... you are in control of your life, you just choose not to have any self control. You are choosing to have an affair, no one is holding a gun to your head.

The only person that should be preforming oral on you is YOUR HUSBAND!!

And if you don't want to be scared of catching a disease than stop sleeping with another man and recommit yourself to your husband.

You make it sound like you are the victim hear.

BLONDE_MAFIA · Feb 17, 2009, 06:34 PM

I would say because he likes it, guys really get turned on by oral sex. But sex is also a way to show each other you care about one and other so if he's not intrested in that he's probably just using you, Dump him don't be a playa

Confused Woman · Feb 18, 2009, 06:49 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

If you are going to cheat on your husband ( and you should not) at least get one that is giving you money and things and giving you sex.

You are nothing more than it appears a non paid hooker for this other man. And one that he knows will not talk or complain since you are married

You know when I ended it the first time I wrote my ex a letter and it stated that I felt like a non paid hooker... I hated that feeling so plus I felt used he would call only when he wanted sex me too but it felt worse when he did it. And would not talk for a month or months at a time... this has got to end... I am so over him and the situation... I am so much better than that... I have a man that adores me don't completely trust me but adores me and I just need to make it work with him because I know I won't someone better than my husband.

happeehiker · Feb 18, 2009, 06:51 AM

In my opinion, it means he is selfish. Maybe, on some level, he even wants to degrade you. That is how his actions would make me feel.

Confused Woman · Feb 18, 2009, 06:56 AM

Originally Posted by happeehiker

In my opinion, it means he is selfish. Maybe, on some level, he even wants to degrade you. That is how his actions would make me feel.

That is actually how I felt I felt really low... but didn't know how to stop... :mad:... but then I did and I started to lose weight, got a job and I started to feel better about myself and didn't need him to make me feel anything... and when he saw that I was losing weight and had a job he was jealous it seemed my lover that is because he was like I don't see you no more you don't have time for me... and it felt good to have the shoe on the other foot... and shortly after that I ended the affair

happeehiker · Feb 18, 2009, 07:07 AM

Marriage can suck sometimes!:)

excon · Feb 18, 2009, 07:28 AM

Originally Posted by Confused Woman

What does it mean when your guy on the side only wants you to provide then with oral satification?

Hello Woman:

Well, if your "guy on the side" means that he's NOT your husband or boyfriend, it probably means that he knows the relationship ain't going anywhere, so he's only interested in getting off.

Or, if he loves you, he can't stand that you're getting laid by your guy who ISN'T on the side, and that too might cause him to want only oral satisfaction.

Or, maybe I don't understand your terminology. If so, help me out here.

excon

Confused Woman · Feb 18, 2009, 07:34 AM

Originally Posted by excon

Hello Woman:

Well, if your "guy on the side" means that he's NOT your husband or boyfriend, it probably means that he knows the relationship ain't going anywhere, so he's only interested in getting off.

Or, if he loves you, he can't stand that you're getting laid by your guy who ISN'T on the side, and that too might cause him to want only oral satisfaction.

Or, maybe I don't understand your terminology. If so, help me out here.

excon

No you were dead on I think... I always hoped it was the second one of your comment but I will never really know because he does not tell me... just says things like I wish we could be together... why did you get married so quickly after we broke up... I wish your child was ours... so I would hope he loved me but he said we have a connection but never I Love YOU!!

Confused Woman · Feb 18, 2009, 07:34 AM

Originally Posted by happeehiker

Marriage can suck sometimes!:)

Well it has its moments but I would not want to be alone...

Justwantfair · Feb 18, 2009, 07:40 AM

Originally Posted by Confused Woman

Well it has its moments but I would not want to be alone......

That is EXACTLY what you need. It doesn't sound like you have ANY idea who YOU are. You aren't showing any morals, self-dignity or self-respect with this behavior. You are being used by your ex, he doesn't care about your pleasure, your affair is about HIS pleasure.

You need a HUGE wake up call, but I don't know that you see that. You will not get this man to care about you as a person and you can analyze it every which way you can imagine in your mind to try and find out how oral sex on him, means love for you - IT DOESN'T.

Justwantfair · Feb 18, 2009, 07:43 AM

Originally Posted by Confused Woman

No you were dead on I think...........I always hoped it was the second one of your comment but I will never really know because he does not tell me......just says things like I wish we could be together.....why did you get married so quickly after we broke up.....I wish your child was ours....so I would hope he loved me but he said we have a connection but never I Love YOU!!!

Probably because the minute he heard "I love you" from you, he would hit the road, he isn't after love, just oral. Shoot, I can't think of many single men that wouldn't just take a woman up on oral sex no strings. At least he is not paying cash for it... it's FREE!

liz28 · Feb 18, 2009, 07:59 AM

Confused Woman it seems that you got married not out of love but because you don't want to be alone which is totally unfair to your husband.

So you need to be a woman about your wrong to your husband and maybe get out.

Confused Woman · Feb 18, 2009, 08:08 AM

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

Probably because the minute he heard "I love you" from you, he would hit the road, he isn't after love, just oral. Shoot, I can't think of many single men that wouldn't just take a woman up on oral sex no strings. At least he is not paying cash for it... it's FREE!

Well he'snot single anymore he's married with a son... just got married about 9 months ago...