[djlover23]

My ex husband has full legal custody of our 2 boys. I KNOW that he is smoking pot & want to know if I can or how I can go about getting him tested before I take him to court to try to get custody? I live in Oregon. Thanks! :o

[Fr_Chuck]

First is this activity causing the children to be in danager.
And what proff of this do you have

But you will have to petition the court for a change in custody and ask for him to be tested

[JudyKayTee]

My ex husband has full legal custody of our 2 boys. I KNOW that he is smoking pot & want to know if I can or how I can go about getting him tested before I take him to court to try to get custody? I live in Oregon. Thanks! :o

You can't force testing before a hearing. As FrChuck said, you file for a change in custody, provide PROOF to the Court and, if it's all about smoking pot, then you ask the Court to drug test him.

He would have to be a danger to the children to lose custody. The pot smoking may not be considered a danger.

How/why did you lose custody?

[cdad]

If he is smoking it for medical reasons then it may be legal in Oregon to do so. What danger is he putting your children in ?

[djlover23]

Well I KNOW he smokes pot because he has asked me if I knew anyone he could get some from in the past. Also a mom at my kids school said she saw them stoned out of their (him & his wife) minds at a convenience store at like 10:30pm. That means they left not only my 2 boys home alone, but her 2 kids as well. I would call that dangerous! And the fact that my 9 year old can be in his room crying from an earache & he doesn't hear him because he's in the garage getting baked! He has smoked weed since I've known him & he stole the kids from me 7 years ago, I deserve them back & they want to be w/ me! My kids are just not happy there & this could be my way to get them out!

[djlover23]

If he is smoking it for medical reasons then it may be legal in Oregon to do so. What danger is he putting your children in ?

He does not have a medicinal license...

[JudyKayTee]

How did he "steal" the kids from you 7 years ago and what have you been doing to get them back?

Why is he asking you for the name of a supplier? He's not asking me!

[djlover23]

You can't force testing before a hearing. As FrChuck said, you file for a change in custody, provide PROOF to the Court and, if it's all about smoking pot, then you ask the Court to drug test him.

He would have to be a danger to the children to lose custody. The pot smoking may not be considered a danger.

How/why did you lose custody?

I didn't lose custody. My ex & my mom went behind my back & drew up false paperwork for me to sign. It was supposed to be to let him have them an extra month, but my mom put that I was signing them over for good. Being that she was MY MOM, I signed the papers w/o reading & that was that! My mistake! And all because she didn't think I should go out once w week w/ friends... I had JUST gotten divorced. She's sorry now & regrets it, but that doesn't help!

[cdad]

So far I don't see any real facts to back your case up. Someone saw someone in a condition they determined to be stoned. But did they inquire about the children and the care they were receiving ? What if a babysitter was there ? What are the ages of the children ? All of that is up for grabs. In Calif there is no minimum age for when children can be left alone. Have you looked online for the laws in Oregon ?

[djlover23]

How did he "steal" the kids from you 7 years ago and what have you been doing to get them back?

Why is he asking you for the name of a supplier? He's not asking me!

He asked me about a supplier because after my fiancé died & I first moved to OR I was homeless & he knew I knew people on the street. And what I have done to get them back is take him to court for more visitation (weekends & Tuesdays), got a nice home, got a good job & graduated college last August w/ my Associates in Business Degree. I am also engaged to the guy I've been w/ for over 2 years. And I am at my kids school every week for lunch & volunteering & I spend nothing but quality time w/ them. They are my whole world! If not for them I wouldn't be here! It took me 6 years & 2 surgeries to even get pregnant, I would NEVER do anything to jeapordize or lose my boys!

[djlover23]

So far I dont see any real facts to back your case up. Someone saw someone in a condition they determined to be stoned. But did they inquire about the children and the care they were recieving ? What if a babysitter was there ? What are the ages of the children ? All of that is up for grabs. In Calif there is no minimum age for when children can be left alone. Have you looked online for the laws in Oregon ?

First of all, that is horrible that kids can be left alone at any age there. Of coarse I have looked up laws. You can be left home alone at 10 (by yourself) until dusk. Not 4 kids under 12 at 11pm! If I suspect that he is smoking weed then all I need to do is request the drug test & he will get nailed! There is never a babysitter, my boys tell me, they are 9 & 11. My boys are miserable there & they tell me all that goes on because they can't stand their step mother. She REEKED of weed one night when I had to sign a form for the kids & she leaned in my car. I'm not an idiot here, I just wanted to know if I could have him tested before court...

[JudyKayTee]

First of all, that is horrible that kids can be left alone at any age there. Of coarse I have looked up laws. You can be left home alone at 10 (by yourself) until dusk. Not 4 kids under 12 at 11pm! If I suspect that he is smoking weed then all I need to do is request the drug test & he will get nailed! There is never a babysitter, my boys tell me, they are 9 & 11. My boys are miserable there & they tell me all that goes on because they can't stand their step mother. She REEKED of weed one night when I had to sign a form for the kids & she leaned in my car. I'm not an idiot here, I just wanted to know if I could have him tested before court.....

You are wrong - there is a reason you lost custody. I have no idea what it is. The fact that the boys do or don't like their stepmother and she is or isn't mean to them (or whatever their complaint is) has nothing to do with this and makes you sound bitter.

No, you can't get him tested before Court and if he tests positive that does NOT mean the children are in danger and does NOT mean he will get "nailed."

[djlover23]

You are wrong - there is a reason you lost custody. I have no idea what it is. The fact that the boys do or don't like their stepmother and she is or isn't mean to them (or whatever their complaint is) has nothing to do with this and makes you sound bitter.

No, you can't get him tested before Court and if he tests positive that does NOT mean the children are in danger and does NOT mean he will get "nailed."

You have NO idea what you are talking about! The ONLY reason I lost my kids is because my mom went behind my back & drew up false paperwork that was notarized before I even signed it. No court ever took my kids from me! If I sound bitter it's because I AM! I have a right to be, I lost my boys for over 7 years now for no reason. I am a GOOD mom & my boys want to be w/ me, not their pothead dad & step-mom! If they are leaving my kids home alone in the middle of the night to get high then they are endangering them! This doesn't even include the fact that neither of them have a real job, they can't pay their bills & no one likes them. Everyone I talk to says something is wrong w/ them! My boys are unhappy there & NOT here, that's why they should be w/ me, the weed is just an additional reason. Courts look out for the best interest of the kids, not what the parents want & it's in their best interest to live w/ their working, sober mom & her very stable fiance'.

[JudyKayTee]

First, I have no idea what your mother's Affidavit has do do with anything. What have you done to regain custody over the past 7 years?

[babybluu36]

I have a friend with similar circumstances. They were granted joint custody, 50/50. She wanted him tested because she knew for fact he smoked. The courts told him she could request it, but if it was negative she would have to pay for the testing. Good luck!

[JudyKayTee]

I have a friend with similar circumstances. They were granted joint custody, 50/50. She wanted him tested because she knew for fact he smoked. The courts told him she could request it, but if it was negative she would have to pay for the testing. Good luck!!

Did the Court tell her if it was POSITIVE he would lose custody and, if so, what State?

[babybluu36]

Yes, he was told what would happen. This was in Louisiana. However, the "wonderful" court system we have would let him know WHEN he would be tested, and therefore would be clean every time. I know you are worried and anxious to get this over with. I've been in a similar situation myself.

[JudyKayTee]

Yes, he was told what would happen. This was in Louisiana. However, the "wonderful" court system we have would let him know WHEN he would be tested, and therefore would be clean everytime. I know you are worried and anxious to get this over with. I've been in a similar situation myself.

Whoa - I'm not anxious and worried. I'm not in this position. I'm not the person who posted this. I'm just an expert on this site, adding my two cents.

[babybluu36]

I'm sorry! :o I think I had my mind going the opposite direction.

[JudyKayTee]

I'm sorry! :o I think I had my mind going the opposite direction.

Don't sweat it - half the time I'm not sure where my mind went. You at least have a clue!