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Blue_TigerBAD · Feb 2, 2009, 11:54 PM

Me and my fiancé are having few problems at the moment. She told me today that if she an I split up, she is giving our child her last name. She had done this to her ex as well but I can understand why with her ex. I love her dearly but she seems to be questioning everything sense she got prenant. I even accept her son as my own. Anyway We are 11 weeks in the pragnacy. She isn't complaining at all of me being I'm our child's life. Its just the last name. I was wondering if I have the rights to have our child my last name. I been told yes sense I am the fauther. Also was told if she done it in her last name then I would have to go threw court. I am defently OK with going threw court. Cause this will be the only child that I will have. And I would love for it to carry my last name after he/she is born.

stevetcg · Feb 3, 2009, 05:28 AM

Whomever told you yes is wrong. You have absolutely no rights as to the naming of the child regardless of your status with the mother.

A court will not force her to change the name if she does not want it changed.

Sorry man... it is completely up to her. The good news is that pregnant women are crazy and this may just be the crazy talking.

JudyKayTee · Feb 3, 2009, 06:58 AM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

Sorry man... it is completly up to her. The good news is that pregnant women are crazy and this may just be the crazy talking.

I protest the use of the word "crazy." I don't deny it, I'm just filing a formal, written protest on behalf of women everywhere. "Easily upset" or "emotional" are better phrases. :)

Blue_TigerBAD · Feb 3, 2009, 07:02 AM

Well she not crazy by any means she just going threw an mood where she is unsure about everything. Also thinking that I would be the same as herex. I love her dearly no matter how moody she gets. This will be my only child that I will have this is why it means the world to me if he/she would carry my last name when he/she is born.

Blue_TigerBAD · Feb 3, 2009, 09:14 AM

Ok I just found someone whom went threw this and went to court and all. The judge rulled that the child will get both last names. If any one else know any thing else or more info, or anything that can help please let me know.

stevetcg · Feb 3, 2009, 09:36 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I protest the use of the word "crazy." I don't deny it, I'm just filing a formal, written protest on behalf of women everywhere. "Easily upset" or "emotional" are better phrases. :)

You say potato... ;)

JudyKayTee · Feb 3, 2009, 09:37 AM

Originally Posted by Blue_TigerBAD

Ok i just found somone whom went threw this and went to court and all. The judge rulled that the child will get both last names. If any one else know any thing else or more info, or anything that can help please let me know.

What State? This is posted all the time and no one has ever been able to post anything conclusive. You can change a name in just about the snap of fingers so I have no idea why a Judge would get involved in it.

Again - would appreciate knowing the name of the State so I can research State law for the next person who comes along.

Blue_TigerBAD · Feb 3, 2009, 09:46 AM

The state of where the woman was in is Illinois same state as I'm in

Blue_TigerBAD · Feb 3, 2009, 09:48 AM

Also the judge got involved cause neather parent couldn't agree on what will be the child's last name same as the situation I am in myself. (Sorry for the double post)

JudyKayTee · Feb 3, 2009, 10:24 AM

Originally Posted by Blue_TigerBAD

The state of where the woman was in is Illinois same state as im in

I believe you but this is very, very odd. So the parents couldn't agree, the Judge orders the name and the mother goes home and files the papers to change it. Seems like it doesn't make sense - but a lot of things I read on the legal boards don't make sense.

Imagine, if you can't agree on the child's name, what the next 18 years will be like?

Blue_TigerBAD · Feb 3, 2009, 10:30 AM

Well it's the last name that we can't agree on as with the other person that was in the same situation. I want my last name and she wants her last name if we split up. As I stated before this will be my last and only child this is why I want the child to have my last name.

Blue_TigerBAD · Feb 13, 2009, 09:15 PM

Ok lets start that I am resadent of Illinois. I have an child do in Augest. My ex and I recently split up, and she is with child. My child in fact. I have already signed papers that state that at the Doc's. We split up do to her going back to her ex, whom is really bad on drugs. Defently not an good guy been in prison for everything but murder basically. Well Drugs, stealing, and everything you can imagon. The guy wasn't in his own sons life and just recently started talking to my ex and convincing her all these lies. I know for fact they are lies cause I caught him doing drugs recently. Anyway, when we where engaged we got pregnant and we went to doc. And all. I signed papers stating I am father and everything. She had an doc appointment 3 days ago. She not telling me athing about how our unborn child is. Her ex called me and stated she had an miscarage. But she told her family all is OK. I was wondering if I have the right to find out at the doc myself sense its already stated that I am the father. Also if its posable of her taking me off the papers as she stated she would. Please let me know soon as possible.

stevetcg · Feb 14, 2009, 06:30 AM

No, you don't have any right to her doctor - she is the patient, not you.

Your rights basically do not start until the child is born. She can not put you on the birth certificate and that basically forces you to fight for your rights. Meaning when the child is born, you go to court and request a paternity hearing. Once the court ordered DNA test is done, assuming you are the father, you will be assessed with child support and a custody arrangement will be put in place - you will likely get visitation or joint custody unless you can prove the mother is unfit.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 14, 2009, 07:28 AM

Sorry no the doctor can not talk to you unless the person would give written release of info to you

Also don't blindly accept the child, no matter how bad you want to. Get a DNA test after the child is born.

ScottGem · Feb 14, 2009, 07:34 AM

We had a similar discussion in another thread, and I'm not so sure about this one. While the other discussion was about California law, I think its worth you investigating Illinois law.

Notwithstanding what you signed, I doubt if its legally effective unless affirmed by a court. So what you will need to do is find a lawyer willing to go to court on this. What MAY happen is a court will affirm your rights pending paternity testing (which can't be done until birth.) This may allow you to get information about the fetus's progress. Then once its born and a paternity test done, you can file for custody/visitation/support.

This is all conjecture on my part. A local attorney may tell you that you have no chance so drop it until birth. But I think its worth pursuing with an attorney.

stevetcg · Feb 14, 2009, 07:42 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

We had a similar discussion in another thread, and I'm not so sure about this one. While the other discussion was about California law, I think its worth you investigating Illinois law.

Notwithstanding what you signed, I doubt if its legally effective unless affirmed by a court. So what you will need to do is find a lawyer willing to go to court on this. What MAY happen is a court will affirm your rights pending paternity testing (which can't be done until birth.) This may allow you to get information about the fetus's progress. Then once its born and a paternity test done, you can file for custody/visitation/support.

This is all conjecture on my part. A local attorney may tell you that you have no chance so drop it until birth. But I think its worth pursuing with an attorney.

Its possible about the rights to the unborn as referenced by Cadillac59 in that other thread, but I do not believe this would include rights to the medical records. The OB is the mother's doctor and thus his patient/doctor relationship is with her, not the child. The baby's doctor doesn't come into the picture until after the birth.

Even as the legal father, that doesn't grant him rights to be at the delivery - that is exclusive to the mother.

Blue_TigerBAD · Feb 14, 2009, 10:45 AM

So basically I won't ever know if my unborn child is OK or if it didt make it till it is born. There for if it didn't make it then I will never know a thing.

stevetcg · Feb 14, 2009, 10:49 AM

Originally Posted by Blue_TigerBAD

So basicly i wont ever know if my unborn child is ok or if it didt make it till it is born. There for if it didnt make it then i will never know a thing.

Well there is still a fairly accurate visual test that you can perform to see if she is pregnant still...

But generally, yeah.

ScottGem · Feb 14, 2009, 03:07 PM

Again, there is a strong possibility that you cannot get any info until birth. But I wouldn't give up without trying.

I admit my take on this is pure conjecture, but you won't lose very much by trying. Who knows, you may get a judge that wants to establish case law.

Blue_TigerBAD · Feb 14, 2009, 04:19 PM

Ok well thanks for the info. Ill try and see what I can. Please keep me informed on what anyone finds out.