[gandalfdel]

I am not really sure how to pose this but I will try. I am feeling like I am living in a virtual hell. I am very lost and confused about where my life is going. I work in a job I can't get engaged with, my health is failing, and I can't afford all the various things that people think I need to help. I can't afford gym memberships to get in shape, I certainly can't afford a personal trainer. I have grown up in the television generation where I was allowed to distract myself from important matters. I have a very pessamistic father and a mother whose willingness to push me when I was younger was weak due to a tragedy that occurred back before I was born when she was a teacher. I am 35 years old now and feeling the effects of losing many years of opportuntiy to realize my full potential. Many lessons that most people got early in life, and take for granted now, I never learned. Now I have now idea where to turn for help to turn this around without having to put myself under a mountain of debt. Can anyone give me some advice as to where I could turn?

[Jake2008]

I have given some thought to your predicament, for lack of a better word, and I'm wondering about a few things.

If I've got this right, you are unhappy in your job, you have health problems, you see your parents as being pessimistic and not pushing you enough when you were younger, and you are missing not having learned valuable lessons when you were younger which has resulted in many missed opportunities over your 35 years.

What have you tried. What's worked, what hasn't. Why do you think you are stuck in this place.

You say others have offered suggestions, but you cannot afford them. What have they suggested. Do you have a wife, children, do you live on your own? What contributes to you not changing jobs, seeing a doctor, getting counselling.

There are a lot of free community resourses out there for everything from resume writing to job search training, to employment counselling. I don't know why you are stuck when there are opportunities out there.

I went back to school when I was 49 years old. I am very physically active without spending a penny- walking, bike riding, skating.

What stops you.

[Nestorian]

I am not really sure how to pose this but I will try. I am feeling like I am living in a virtual hell. I am very lost and confused about where my life is going. I work in a job I can't get engaged with, my health is failing, and I can't afford all the various things that people think I need to help. I can't afford gym memberships to get in shape, I certainly can't afford a personal trainer. I have grown up in the television generation where I was allowed to distract myself from important matters. I have a very pessamistic father and a mother whose willingness to push me when I was younger was weak due to a tragedy that occured back before I was born when she was a teacher. I am 35 years old now and feeling the effects of losing many years of opportuntiy to realize my full potential. Many lessons that most people got early in life, and take for granted now, I never learned. Now I have now idea where to turn for help to turn this around without having to put myself under a mountain of debt. Can anyone give me some advice as to where I could turn?

I can't say I have bin in your position, but I can understand it. I suggest a few things, do research, read self help books (the two I suggest are: Talking to yourself & The brain that changes it's self.), talk to a counseler, Find a way to budget your money.

To be honest, I got something of the opera show web sit about budgeting... You may want to go there and try that. But first! Take a look at what you have, house, vehicles, bills, cell phone payments, credit card payments, Grocieries, Going out for supper/coffee/ lunch/ movies/ renting movies &games/ etc. What can you cut right now?

Make a realistice goal to cut back on things and then once you get there, then cut back on more things. Make that budget and stick to it. Till you are making head way in your money issues.

Exersising doesn't need to be super expensive, start with walking first, then running, hiking, dong push ups slow counting 1,2 as you go down then 1,2 as you go up. Sit ups or crunches, or planks I think they are called. Let me tell you I'm getting a pretty good pack. Also if you have a local YMCA thing with a gym go there.

Also, you might consider looking up Everybody is free to wear sun screen, and Last words of Buddha. That may help you find yourself.

IF you want more info, we need more details, but really you may want to consider going to the counseler, they will have more info then any of us here.

Peace be with you.

[Choux]

You need a framework for your life...

I recommend a 12 Step Program. There are all kinds of self help groups related to AA; check with a clergyman in your town or the yellow pages. There is no charge for all this wonderful h elp.

The best exercise is walking. All you have to do is set aside time 3-4 days a week for an hour of speedwalking. No charge.

Good Luck to you, :)