[natalie1987]

4 months ago I asked my boyfriend to move back into his mams thinking that if we didn't spend as much time together we'd appreciate each other more, but he took it as me kicking him out and told me he didn't want me anymore and wanted to be single because he's having so much fun with friends that haven't spoken too him in 3 years.
I'm finding it so hard to move on and what makes it harder is the fact he's moved on so easily and is having a fantastic time out every night and having friends practically knock down his door to hang out with him while I'm the exact opposite.
He's confusing me though because on New Years Eve I was going to the pics with someone I work with (His Friend also) just as friends nothing more and he got so angry saying he should have text him first to make sure it was OK as they were friends and it would be the "proper" thing to do, I asked him what would happen if one of his other friends asked me out and he just said they wouldn't because they know I'm "off limits" I'm so confused what does that mean? But whatever he does is none of my business? Just happens later on in the day the guy cancels on me.
Can any guy here shed some light on his way of thinking he doesn't want me but people have to ask permission?
I'm trying so hard to move on but I guess I just don't know how to.
His Mother was another problem she has some sort of control over him I always felt second best to her, I always encouraged while she just put him down but no matter what I said her word would be paramount.

[natalie1987]

Guess no one can answer my question

[MiSSsy111222]

This must be hard on you because it was not your intentions to break the relationship. But I think this was meant to be, and everything happens for a reason. I think he is enjoying his ew found freedom, you should to.

You don't need permission from him to go out with another man. Its has nothing to do with him anymore.

I think you should try and keep busy, he has moved on, I know its hard but you should try to.

[odilians10]

Are you guys still friends?

[GOODDAY]

It's not about the fact that you need permission to go out with a guy. It's the fact that it's one of his friends.

A lot of guys have a "untold saying" that says you don't date one of your friend's exes.

[Justwantfair]

I agree that you should not be dating any of this guys friends, it isn't proper.

You need to find things to do on your own, sitting at home is only making you that much more upset. Start making some friends of your own that don't know him or know of him. Start slow work your way into getting out by yourself. You need a life that is your own. When you begin to date again, don't be willing to give up your own life and friends.

[natalie1987]

I wasn't dating his friend he's my friend too I only hanging out with him, and we tried being friends it didn't really work because his other friends were much more important and he ran after them a lot.

[neverme]

He may or may not really be moving on. If he is then you have to say goodbye to the relationship and concentrate on yourself, not all the friends you do or don't have and not the relationships he may be having. Go n/c for a while and learn to be single again. I'm going through the same thing and I'm a week n/c and I do feel better.

It can only go up when you feel that down, you no?

[Nestorian]

Hmmmm, try not to assume that other guys would understand your guys way of thinking, two different people, who've more than likely not met. He is insecure, and may think his friend/s and you will get too close or have a one night stand. He sounds very insecure, and like hs is suffering. It may not look it, but he probably is.

Try branching out, meet new people, join some kind of group. Where are your friends, ask them to hang, I can understand how hard that is some times. I'm not really the people kind of guy. I like small gatherings too. But bit the bullet and go. The trick to moving on is not to move on, but to find something else to consentrat on other then your relationship.

Peace and kindness be with you.

[natalie1987]

He is insecure, and may think his friend/s and you will get too close or have a one night stand.

Yes he did say if he found out we went together (which we haven't because I don't see him like that) he would kill him, not literally I hope.
He knows I'm not that sort of person, he's just confusing me. I think what he wants me to do is sit around the house moping about him while he has his fling with his friends maybe he's like this because he knows where I am all the time oh I don't know his way of thinking he was so kind and loving before we split up he worshipped the ground I walked on and talked about me none stop to everyone that would listen that's probably we I don't understand how he's changed so drastically.
Thanks for everyone's advice so far I really appreciate it.

[cjeep23]

Im sorry but if you ask a guy to move out what is he supposed to think. Let me tell you something the true test of a relationship is whether you can live together. If you can't coexist living in the same house the relationship will never work. If it was that important of a relationship you would have tried to work through the problems you were having. Sorry if you don't like my answer but you did this to yourself.

[talaniman]

I imagine he felt rejected when you asked him to move, and can you blame him? This was your decision not one you both agreed on. As for hanging with his friends, I think any guy who feels he got kicked to the curb, would be mad about you hanging with his friends. That's like a slap in the face.

No communications- no relationship.

[natalie1987]

I suppose yous are right but we had agreed on it a month earlier and he seemed Ok about it, you see we were living with my mam as well I mentioned her in a previous post what she was like and our relationship had become strained because of it, Its not her fault, but I always fet there was 4 in the relationship Me and my mother and him and his mother.
I know I only have myself to blame but I thought asking him to move home was the best thing to do at the time I know now that it wasn't.

[Justwantfair]

You can't ever ask someone to go backwards in a relationship and then expect that it will be better going forwards.

If you are asking him to go backwards in the relationship, you are telling him that you are done trying and that the relationship is over for you. That being the case, you need to work on moving on and letting go. Establish yourself and then work on having a relationship with someone else.

[Romefalls19]

When my friends found out that my ex and I broke up, they cut off ties with her. It's kind of a show of solidarity between guys(I can't speak for girls as I'm not one so don't take this as sexist) My ex would try to get in touch with my friends through myspace or Facebook and they would tell me. I still remember my one good friend texting me saying "(my ex) just sent me a friend request, I'm denying her because we were boys first. I don't want you thinking I have her back or side in this." Granted I would never think that of my friend but it gave me a sense of relief knowing I had my friends who were strictly my friends.

I can see his point with you being off limits, as in general guy code, a friends ex is off limits unless it's been an extended period or other circumstances. Being asked to move out is a huge slap in the face, it's basically saying you don't think the problem is fixable, so I can see why he would want to break up.

[natalie1987]

Yeah I guess you's are all right it doesn't help my Mam bringing him up 24-7 and blaming him for her going on anti-depressents and stuff. I guess the best thing I can do is just forget about him.

[talaniman]

Talaniman Secret- You never forget, you just get more interested in other things until time allows you to cope with your loss.

G/f 's from 40 years ago, still haunt me from time to time, and they haven't aged a day, so go figure.

You never forget, but you do learn to cope.

[natalie1987]

Yeah trying to do what I thought at the time was right I guess I broke his heart so I can kind of understand a little why he been a bit nasty and dismissive, I've started by deleting his number and not contacting him.
Thanks for everyone's advice.