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mrssmith011409 · Jan 24, 2009, 03:17 PM

My 15 month old daughter is in the custody of her father. She had been living with me full time and going with him maybe once a month for visitation. He told me that he filed for joint custody. When I told him it wasn't necessary he told me that he would have it dismissed if I took him off child support. I agreed and allowed him to get her for his scheduled visitation and he went proceeded with the custody hearing. Because I didn't show up to the hearing the judge granted him full custody. Now he won't allow me to see my daughter and limits our phone conversations.
There has been no issues concerning my parenting, no social services cases. We have always been in a stable environment. I am married to a man I have been involved with for 5 years and who has been raising my oldest child and my 15 month old as his own.
He is an active duty servicemember. And my daughter is listed as his dependent.
I filed a motion to rehear the case the day after the judge gave him custody and I was wondering what are the odds that I won't get my daughter back...
Also there is a question of paternity.

~help~

Fr_Chuck · Jan 24, 2009, 04:15 PM

Well first you believed all sorts of lies, first you can't just "take him off child support" that is not your right to do. ONly the court can do that.

Next you check with the court yourself always.

But it is possible and most likely that you will end up with Joint custody, ( shared)
Also another issue, even if you get custody and he gets visits, if your new hubby is in the service, your ex can stop you from moving since that will stop him from having his visits.

The issue of paternity should have been the first motion you filed.

I would say it is obvous you don't have an attorney, that is what you need. Without one, esp if he has one, your

mrssmith011409 · Jan 24, 2009, 04:21 PM

How can I go about getting primary physical custody? That is what I want. Fr, I just want my baby back that is all. I don't care about the money or anything else... he can see her I just want to have my baby back.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 24, 2009, 04:24 PM

You will have to get it though court, he tricked and lied to you about everything and it appears got a court order by default since you did not show up.

So it will require attorney and court at this point in your appeal of the past case

ScottGem · Jan 24, 2009, 04:24 PM

Get an attorney. You will have to explain why you didn't show up at the hearing. If it appears it was from trickery by him, they you should get custody back. But you stand a better chance with an attorney.

cdad · Jan 24, 2009, 05:38 PM

Originally Posted by mrssmith011409

my 15 month old daughter is in the custody of her father. she had been living with me full time and going with him maybe once a month for visitation. he told me that he filed for joint custody. when i told him it wasnt necessary he told me that he would have it dismissed if i took him off of child support. i agreed and allowed him to get her for his scheduled visitation and he went proceeded with the custody hearing. because i didnt show up to the hearing the judge granted him full custody. now he wont allow me to see my daughter and limits our phone conversations.
there has been no issues concerning my parenting, no social services cases. we have always been in a stable enviornment. i am married to a man i have been involved with for 5 years and who has been raising my oldest child and my 15 month old as his own.
he is an active duty servicemember. and my daughter is listed as his dependent.
i filed a motion to rehear the case the day after the judge gave him custody and i was wondering what are the odds that i wont get my daughter back....
also there is a question of paternity.

~help~

What is your current husband filing on your daughter ? She may not qualify as his dependent unless there were an adoption.

mrssmith011409 · Jan 24, 2009, 05:48 PM

Please I know you don't know me but just pray that I get my baby back. If I have not done anything else in my life right, I take care of my kids and I love them. I believed in my daughter's father and now my baby is gone. Please just pray for me if you have a chance. Thank you.

ScottGem · Jan 24, 2009, 06:15 PM

If it makes you feel better I'm sure many of us will pray for you. But there is a saying that God helps those who help themselves. And what you need is to put more faith in getting your case prepared properly

JudyKayTee · Jan 25, 2009, 07:16 AM

Originally Posted by mrssmith011409

please i know yall dont know me but just pray that i get my baby back. If i have not done anything else in my life right, i take care of my kids and i love them. I believed in my daughter's father and now my baby is gone. Please just pray for me if you have a chance. Thank you.

If you want the child back you have to go to Court to get the child back - and you need to get paternity established.

You also need to settle the tax exemption issue because of the child's father also claims her you will be facing the wrath of IRS.

You need an Attorney - the longer this drags on the worse and more complicated it will get.

mrssmith011409 · Jan 25, 2009, 10:31 AM

Well I have an attorney and as far as the tax issue.. there was a child support in effect last year plus as I stated I have had my daughter in my custody since she was born. This is the longest she has ever been from me. So he would not meet the margin of time to claim her on his taxes anyway.

JudyKayTee · Jan 25, 2009, 10:37 AM

Originally Posted by mrssmith011409

well i have an attorney and as far as the tax issue..there was a child support in effect last year plus as i stated i have had my daughter in my custody since she was born. this is the longest she has ever been from me. so he would not meet the margin of time to claim her on his taxes anyway.

If there is an order which states that the father is allowed to take the exemption - and I don't know that there is - IRS will not set that Order aside for the reasons explained here: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/taxes/c...en-305476.html

Hasn't your Attorney address the issues you have questioned here concerning custody and paternity?

I also don't understand how you got a support order without paternity testing unless the father agreed to it. Obviously if someone lied about paternity there are consequences.

mrssmith011409 · Mar 21, 2009, 11:42 AM

Just to let you all know.. I regained sole custody of my daughter on Feb 25 2009. Her father neglected to get her back after my second visitation weekend which was the weekend before our court date and agreed to just sign custody back to me. GOD IS GOOD! :)

ScottGem · Mar 21, 2009, 01:42 PM

Originally Posted by mrssmith011409

just to let you all know..i regained sole custody of my daughter on Feb 25 2009.

That's good to hear and thanks for letting us know.

I suspect that once the father knew you had an attorney and were not going to be blackmailed, he knew he would lose so decided to give her back.

confusedinmd · Oct 11, 2010, 02:24 PM

A service member can claim a stepchild as a dependent in matters of medical care and military benefits. This is different then claiming them as a dependent on taxes for instance.