[tabbarat]

For the last time... I only slept with 2 tamales... and that was when we were I na grey area... after she told me that she was talkking to her ex of 10yrs again... I NEVER slept with anyone when things were good between us... I had chances, and met some girls, but I would feel guilty even kissing them

I was only seeing tamales because she wasn't giving me sex... but since we started having sex, I haven't even thought about sleeping with someone else... if you remember, I said I took the girl I met at the concert back HOME... alone

We weren't sleeping together AND she broke up with me..,. so I slept with girls... we were on a break/broken up... but not since the past 2 months

But when things were good between us/and we were seeing each other and having a great time and making out/having sex... she was always my number one... no lying/no tamales

Again.. I said I got pissed that she lied... and not that she was with him

I knew she was there to see him... she told me she was also... I said OK.. no problem... but don't lie and say your here to end it at 1.30 am

I called her when I saw her.. she didn't answer.. obviously because she is pretending to be asleep... but when I messaged her saying I saw her.. she calls back... a big lie and game

When did I EVER do smthg like that?

Why do I feel like I was cheated on, but I never made her feel like that

Maybe I met/flirted with other girls... but not to the point of having a relationship with them, going on dates, going to their hotel, lying, etc... NEVER

Of course it was "open" and we're both free... but I never lied...

In fact, if you remember when she asked me if I slept with someone, I told her yes... when I asked her if she was sleepping with this watch guy, she didn't deny it (didnt say yes though)

Maybe I was vague sometimes... and I had some games here and there... but I never lied and said "im tired, but then go to a girls hotel"

Flirting and dancing with a new girl, in no way compares to her pretending to be asleep, and then lying when I catch her and saying she is there to end it

I even told her "just tell me the truth..i know why u are here...just tell me the truth and i will always respect u for that".. I was very calm... wasnt angry at all yesterday when talking to her

And about me keeping a door open: its just if she realizes she can't be without me.. maybe this ordeal will shake her up and set her priorities straight... maybe her missing me will make her realize that she wants to be with me... maybe this is the "shake up" everyone was talking about that we needed to set us on the right path

If not... then fcuk it... I feel OK... a bit sad and "cheated on" but relaxed and ready to go back to the tabbarat of before 7 mnths ago...

[tabbarat]

Also.. she hasn't replied yet...

It is obviously because she doesn't know what to say... if she didn't care, she would at least write back "ok, its too bad, wish u the best too...hope it could have been different, etc."

But no reply means that she is still speechless about me catching her red-handed

Whatever..

[Mom of 2]

First, you don't know what she is thinking or doing when she is not with you. Stop saying that she is thinking about it- she may or may NOT be doing this.

Also, you can't say that you never made her feel a certain way because those are her feelings and you don't know what she is feeling because those feelings are hers, NOT YOURS.

HOWEVER... I need to say congratulations for FINALLY seeing the light. I am so proud of you.

A bigger however is that I really don't believe that you ended it. I think you are going to answer your phone or she is going to text you and you are going to reply. I won't believe that you will stick to your guns until you actually do. I am personally putting a challenge to you as I bet you are going to back peddle and believe whatever she says because that is what you want to hear.

In regards to both parties, both of you were players. However, both of you had a right to be with other people because there was no committed relationship. BUT both of you lied to each other. Everyone knows what lying is, but sometimes people don't realize that leaving out information is a FORM of lying. Both of you are guilty of both. You both omitted things and both of you lied to each other at least once to each other.

I don't want to beat you up when you really have come so far and if you REALLY mean what you say, that you have ended it. You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself. However, if you get back with this girl, I don't know what to say. I guess you would be a glutton for punishment.

In regards to Asking's comments, I TOTALLY agree with what you said. I also think that he had a double standard. Let's just hope he has learned SOMETHING from all of this.

Who wants to bet that he is going to take her back?

[tabbarat]

I agree that we both played games... yes... but when did I ever let it get to a point of a relationship with someone else?? And lying! And cancelling plans with me to see someone else at 1.30 am...

Flirting, and seeing other people, and not being committed is one thing... but being in a relationship with someone else is a bigger thing... so sorry, I don't compare the two

I feel cheated on, but I never made her feel like that... or she would have told me... and I know she would have

About taking her back... if she is ready for smthg serious, then so am I... its nothing new.. u knew this from day 1... ur problem with me is that I stuck around someone who didn't want to be serious... well, I'm not going to do that anymore... I hope she realizes that all games should stop

But if she doesn't, then its OK too

[tabbarat]

Just to elaborate... yes, I met girls, and flirted, talked to them etc... but nothing serious... for her to lie to me and see him at 1.30 in a hotel means that there is smthg bigger

Again, I don't care that she was with HIM... what I care about is lying...

In lebanon we have a saying... dont be afraid of someone who is vague or omits some information... its the one that can lie straight to your face that you should watch out for

[tabbarat]

And a question... if she feels like she did nothing wrong or that its normal because I lied to etc... then why didn't she write smthg back?

Not writing anything back for 12 hrs means that some serious thinking is taking place

[High Max]

I don't know the status of the situation right now, but I see the thread here is still alive. Tabbarat, I give you a medal for being the most persistent guy I've ever seen. :P What a trooper this guy is!

[tabbarat]

Haha! Thanks... stay tuned ;)

[talaniman]

You are way off base, especially since you have been presuming, and assuming, and rationalizing your way through this whole thing.

You ignored every red flag, and ran headlong into that proverbial brick wall, over and over again. Now you have a headache that your blaming her for.

That's like being bitten by a snake, and being mad at the snake, because that's what they do. Did you notice the fangs?

You are stubborn, but not true to yourself. That's your biggest problem. I tell everyone you can't change someone's mind, or make them do what you want. She didn't want what you wanted so we have conflict, and confusion. Amazing how that always happens. Easy call there.

Honest communications, and listening could have given you a chance, but now let me leave you with this:


No trust= No relationship, but recognize you didn't have a relationship to begin with, and after all of this drama, still won't.

Give it a break! A long one!

[tabbarat]

Of course no trust is no relationship... and I am giving it a break... I wrote that message explaining everything... that I'm sick of games and of lying and sharing her... if she realizes she can't be without me and wants to move forward, we have smthg to talk about... but if she just wants to get back because she misses me, then of course not

I think the fact that she hasn't replied to my message means she is seriously doing some thinking about what she wants... sure she is probably shy/ashamed that I caught her at 1.30 am and probably lying, but she is using that noggin of hers... if she wasn't and didn't care, she would have quickly replied and said "ok, do what makes u happy"

I'm taking a break... no move from me... I left with my head high, giving her a great birthday, and with a strong message... what she decides is her choice...

I'm going to party tonight

[face_reality]

of course no trust is no relationship...and i am giving it a break...i wrote that message explaining everything...that im sick of games and of lying and sharing her...if she realizes she can't be without me and wants to move forward, we have smthg to talk about....but if she just wants to get back bc she misses me, then of course not

i think the fact that she hasnt replied to my message means she is seriously doing some thinking about what she wants....sure she is probably shy/ashamed that i caught her at 1.30 am and probably lying, but she is using that noggin of hers...if she wasnt and didnt care, she would have quickly replied and said "ok, do what makes u happy"

im taking a break...no move from me...i left with my head high, giving her a great birthday, and with a strong message...what she decides is her choice...

im going to party tonight

Everyone is telling you to stop the maddess but you don't listen.

"i think the fact that she hasnt replied to my message means she is seriously doing some thinking about what she wants" -- YOU DON'T KNOW THAT

"sure she is probably shy/ashamed that i caught her at 1.30 am and probably lying, but she is using that noggin of hers... " -- YOU DON'T KNOW THIS EITHER.

"im taking a break...no move from me...i left with my head high, giving her a great birthday, and with a strong message...what she decides is her choice..." - - NO YOU DID NOT LEAVE WITH HEAD HIGH, YOU WERE BEGGING HER.

LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY FOR YOU, THIS GIRL HAS NO RESPECT FOR YOU.
NO RESPECT=NO LOVE.

[asking]

"i think the fact that she hasnt replied to my message means she is seriously doing some thinking about what she wants" -- YOU DON'T KNOW THAT

"sure she is probably shy/ashamed that i caught her at 1.30 am and probably lying, but she is using that noggin of hers... " -- YOU DON'T KNOW THIS EITHER.

THIS GIRL HAS NO RESPECT FOR YOU NO RESPECT=NO LOVE.

FR, I agree with your first two statements, but I have to say that you don't know either what this woman is thinking or feeling. None of us really does.

[tabbarat]

I'm interested to hear why you guys think she hasn't replied yet? I think its because she is shy, ashamed, caught red-handed, and doesn't know what to say, and she is thinking about what to say/do...

I feel if she didn't care she would have contacted and said "ok, as u wish, take care"

It has been 24 hrs...

Let me hear your explanations.. im all ears

And I agree with asking, NO ONE can know what she is thinking... but I do know her pretty well, and I am the one involved, so I probably have the closest answer

[TrueFaith]

I think she couldn't care less.

That's what people do. She is banging that other guy and is all kinds of happy about it

And just sees you as a hurt puppy.

Dude :) forget about it

Come on you was doing so well!

[tabbarat]

I am.. I had fun with my friends today... I really am OK... I feel fine and was dancing and talking to this girl all night in the club and got her number

But you keep making it seem that she is a heartless bit*ch... that she didn't reply because she doesn't care... I know her man... if she didn't care she would have written back smthg normal

I know that what this girl was scared of the most was losing me... she didn't want to commit or be serious, but she also didn't want to lose me... now that she has, its probably shaking her up

We used to see and talk to each other everyday for the past 7 mnths! Sometimes for 10 hrs a day... its not easy

Maybe she still is banging that other guy and didn't end it as she claims... but I know that me FINALLY ending it with her, when she thought she hd me in her life for good, definitely shook her up

Anyway, I am not contacting her at all... forever even... its her move... whatever is the outcome, I'm OK with... tmrw night another party... no work till Thursday!

[TrueFaith]

I make her out to be heartless?

Oh no no no no. Heartless is not a word I would use for the two of you.

WEll lets not think what she is thinking or feeling

And as you know it is her move.

So best advice I can give you

Stop thinking about what she thinks and feels
And get on with your life.

[asking]

i am..i had fun with my friends today...i really am ok...i feel fine and was dancing an

but u keep making it seem that she is a heartless bit*ch...that she didnt reply bc she doesnt care...i

I agree with you on that. Nothing you've said makes either of you sound heartless or cold. It's clear that there is real fondness on both sides. But there's also a lot of confusion and apparently anger too.

[friend4u178]

im interested to hear why u guys think she hasnt replied yet?

Who cares??

Honestly Tab this just shows that you'd jump again at the slightest hint of her showing interest again , I can see it and I'm sure the others can as well.

Stand up and be a man my friend and be honest with yourself , don't let your emotions cloud your judgement and just forget this girl.

Even with the slightest chance that she wanted to be with you , and you have admitted yourself it would never work out , what's the point.

[Ash123]

This thread has run longer than M*A*S*H.

Though it is certainly the hottest soap opera on AMHD, it is hard to take it seriously anymore. As it has become more of a daily therapy session than a help session. Like a soap opera, the endings always end up the same no matter how many plot twists. :-)

There was serious advice given months ago and it was accurate and provided a clear insight. This was never meant to be - and by not going to NC as advised, you merely became a bridge to the next guy rather than a river she had to cross or not. She has been honest (mostly) and so have you, but this thing will never have the ending you desire no matter how cool you play it. You fell in LOVE. It happens. But if a woman wants you will KNOW it. Any mixed signals are to be only taken as one thing: STOP.

You saying it's HER MOVE is not honest.
It's always been her move and she chose not to be serious.
Sorry bud. Time to move on.

[Mom of 2]

This thread continues because he is doing a lot of rationalizing. If you are SOOO confident that you know this girl so well, then why are you having problems? Again, you don't know what another person is feeling or thinking. Stop trying to figure out what she is thinking and then rationalizing why she did not respond. Just because you would have done something does not mean that the other person would do the same thing. NO ONE can predict why a person decides to do something. So, when you are asking us to tell you what she could have been thinking by not responding, we don't know and we will never really know. Focus on yourself and what you are going to do and stop obsessing over what you think she is doing and thinking. The only person you have control over is yourself.