Knowing this person is sooooo wrong for you, and yet I am still in so much pain…WHY?
I have been with this man on and off for 3years it has been nothing but heartache for me. I tried to make it work for all the wrong reasons, believing what could never be too. I taken him back even after he betrayed me by cheating I caught him in so many lies, he has no respect for my feelings I know it is not right. I am so good at giving advice, but I suck at taking my own. I have also been in therapy for 4 years prior to this because I always give my everything to men who abuse it. The more they crap on me, the more I try! I even left therapy in the middle of us dating because I knew he was not good for me, but I wanted to live in fantasyland and going to therapy did not allow me to do so! I made the mistake of taking him back to many times and every time we fight, I brake up with him. Right after the tornado, I feel fabulous, free, and happy like I can breathe again but then 2 or 3 days later, I crumple! I tried getting him back by texting him. I tried so hard to be the understanding one, I give in I am so stupid! All he did was ignore my texts I feel he is trying (and succeeding) to make me suffer I guess cause I broke up with him again (with good reason) and according to him, he do not deserve that I guess! This is what kills me, him not responding, WHY?
Then I called and asked just to hear him say it is over and to move on, he said it, so cold too! I said o.k. and hung up I got up, took all the pictures I had and some of his stuff and put it all in a bag. I went to his house and left it outside! I called him to say where I left his things and he just hung up on me! I should have never ever called or texted! Now I feel like a bigger fool! I know the rejection is killing me more so then anything else. I really just want to stay strong, and I will NOT have any contact anymore because it made me feel worse. I just hope he is suffering and the day he realizes what he threw away and calls I can be strong enough not to answer!
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