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Kitten78 · Nov 18, 2008, 10:09 AM

I got a new phone and do not have his number in it. Which is good because so many times of they day I want to tell him what a jerk he is.

Maybe it's because in my last relationship my ex and I broke up and got back together all the time that I expect that he to come back to me as well?

kctiger · Nov 18, 2008, 10:12 AM

People break up for a reason. It isn't healthy to break up constantly and then get back together. That just prolongs the period between you being single and finding someone that truly makes you happy.

Kitten78 · Nov 18, 2008, 01:20 PM

Im so tempted to text him...

"I gave you my heart and you broke it. You F**cking A**hole"

And then just delte him completely out of my life.

kctiger · Nov 18, 2008, 01:22 PM

Don't... that would just be a classless move on your part. He wants to know you are hurting, that he has that power over you. Don't give him the satisfaction. The best way to get revenge is to move on and be successful and happy without him..

ZoeMarie · Nov 18, 2008, 01:24 PM

Originally Posted by kctiger

Don't...that would just be a classless move on your part. He wants to know you are hurting, that he has that power over you. Don't give him the satisfaction. The best way to get revenge is to move on and be succesful and happy without him..

I have to spread the rep, but EXACTLY!

Justwantfair · Nov 18, 2008, 01:41 PM

What you really need to try is to find out if there are any codependancy support group in your area. It is a program similar to AA but for people dealing with codependancy. You can find support, peace of mind, and distraction there. You may even find yourself with some new local friends.

Kitten78 · Nov 18, 2008, 02:00 PM

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

What you really need to try is to find out if there are any codependancy support group in your area. It is a program similar to AA but for people dealing with codependancy. You can find support, peace of mind, and distraction there. You may even find yourself with some new local friends.

Hmmmm...
I am a pretty level headed girl. I am just confused and hurt and looking for some insite.
I think I can do with out the support group. :p

kctiger · Nov 18, 2008, 02:01 PM

We are your support group! I am here for you

ZoeMarie · Nov 18, 2008, 02:04 PM

Me too :)

Kitten78 · Nov 18, 2008, 02:06 PM

Thank You!

And I didn't send the text...

Even though it seems like it would feel sooo good to do...

Justwantfair · Nov 18, 2008, 02:08 PM

Well as wonderful as everyone online is, it should not be taken as offensive to recommend face to face support and it should also be noted that many of the people that attend support groups like codependancy support groups are completely level headed and it's insulting to put that characterization on anyone who does attend. I think that you would have found it comforting to be around others experiencing the same situation at the same time on a face to face level. Most are just as level headed as anyone else just going through times that they find themselves obsessing with situation outside their control. Too bad you had to look at it so negatively.

kctiger · Nov 18, 2008, 02:08 PM

You would feel good for like five minutes, then back to feeling like crap. Believe me, it is better to be the bigger person.

Kitten78 · Nov 18, 2008, 02:15 PM

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

Well as wonderful as everyone online is, it should not be taken as offensive to recommend face to face support and it should also be noted that many of the people that attend support groups like codependancy support groups are completely level headed and it's insulting to put that characterization on anyone who does attend. I think that you would have found it comforting to be around others experiencing the same situation at the same time on a face to face level. Most are just as level headed as anyone else just going through times that they find themselves obsessing with situation outside their control. Too bad you had to look at it so negatively.

I didn't mean to be offensive or take anything negatively. I just know myself well enough to know that a support group is not for me.

Just because I have posted my question on this board dosen't mean I am obsessing...
I am just trying to work it out in my head. I still get up everyday and go to work, and go out with my girlfriends, and hit the gym. I still function even though I cry.

When I think about him I come here... and I am not here 24/7.

Justwantfair · Nov 18, 2008, 02:21 PM

Well I have been there and it was a success for me. It was my suggestion from experience. I was obsessing and functioning as well, when it consumes your thoughts you are obsessing if you ask me and it just sounded to me like I have been where you are.

TrueFaith · Nov 18, 2008, 02:42 PM

Justwantfair we all have our own way of dealing with issues.

Kitten. You are obsessed with him and reading the text over and over again..

This is obsessive.
You not wanting to change you relationship status because then it might really be over.
Obsessive.

So OK you are obsessive deal with it.. nothing to be feel down about. Just don't lie to yourself

He seems to have a lot of issues in his life and is not ready for work that goes into a Relationship.
And he is taking the easy way out.

So Deal with this.. go on with your life as you are doing. And try to stop thinking about him.

Stop re thinking things and wondering what's ifs and buts.. because that will get you no where.

Find out what makes you happy and do more of that stuff.
Go out with some friends
Or play an online game.

Kitten78 · Nov 18, 2008, 04:22 PM

I don't have the text in my phone.
I just see it here when I post...

But no exucuses if I still read it.

I just need a couple more days and then I will brave up and do what I need to do.

Kitten78 · Nov 18, 2008, 05:35 PM

Ok so this is said with humor... :)

If it's over can I finally go off these damn Birth Control pills?

kctiger · Nov 18, 2008, 05:36 PM

No comment... :D

Kitten78 · Nov 19, 2008, 02:03 PM

His status is divorced...

And before I saw that I sent him a text this morning saying...

"you broke my heart and I am so mad
but i know the reason i am so mad is because i love you
so i need you to do something for me...

if its truly over, if you no longer believe in us...
we have no chance??
I need you to tell me that"

Now I feel ridiculous

Justwantfair · Nov 19, 2008, 02:09 PM

Good luck, at least now you know for sure where you stand with him. Hopefully this is just what you needed to hear so that you can start to heal and move on.