[talaniman]

Okay lets blow the lid off his secret.

Tab needs attention, and wants to be loved.

Nothing wrong with that! Just be honest about it.

[LoppyLolly]

All right, I'm 20 and I'm female, so I feel that I have a good word to put in here.
Although I'm in a different part in my life, it doesn't change the fact that I'm young enough to understand her motives/ways of thinking.
Number ONE: DON'T go after her. It is obvious that she is going to do what she wants to, and it's obvious that she doesn't feel that it is over with him. It would be hard to accept being with someone else just like ::snap:: after 10 years.
Number TWO: DO NOT make the mistake of being at her every call. NO NO NO. NOT attractive, kind of like "...How to lose a girl in 9 days...." if you continue with that attitude. And even if her and this other guy do break it off, she will NOT BE emotionally ready to jump right into another relationship NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS!
Hope this helps.
God Bless

[asking]

DO NOT make the mistake of being at her every call. NO NO NO. NOT attractive, kinda like "...How to lose a girl in 9 days...." if you continue with that attitude.

So I think you are saying that if you contact your boyfriend, you want him to be unavailable some proportion of the time.

I'm interested to know (1) why you want to be able to call him but have him say he's too busy to see you or talk to you and (2) how often you would want that to happen. Let's say if you call him 5 times a week, how often would you want to get some kind of rejection?

Finally, (3) if he calls you a similar number of times, about how often should you be unavailable?

Just curious.

[tabbarat]

Yes, guys! The secret is out... I only continue writing here so I can see the number of posts and pages grow! :P we are actually now happily married with 2 kids!

Enken said it best when he said this is more of a journal entry than me asking for advice... this is true for the most part... sometimes I do want advice; the latest being on how I can sleep with her for the love of God?? I got my own plan in motion, but was just looking for suggestions

I still disagree about her having me on a leash and calling the shots... she calls me/msgs me/makes plans with me/makes out with me as much as I do... the affection is equal

True, she knows that I really like her and still agree to be in the picture, but if you remember, sometimes I go out to clubs without her and she gets pissed... remember the time she "stalked" me and surprised me outside the club at 2am!

We BOTH want each others affection equally...

It is simply that she doesn't want to let go of her past completely YET and thus is not ready to have sex... and I'm not ready to leave her alone because I still care for her, but since I'm not getting sex and am technically still single, I look for tamales

So we both are there for each other until smthg changes

And just to reiterate, I am not always available... she knows I talk with other girls, etc.. we actually fought several times when I told her I was going to party without her

Trust me.. I don't have the personality of a weak, needy guy... I do play games sometimes, that's true... but I NEVER stay when I'm not wanted... as long as she still cares for me and gives me attention, I say "why not?" and stick it out

[asking]

Yeah. You never struck me as weak and needy either.

How can you sleep with her? Find out what's holding her back. I mean I know it is the other guy. But what about that? Is it that she wants to be with him? Or is it something more abstract, like she had enough good times that moving forward is scary and sex symbolizes a definite break. I'm just making that up. But maybe you should draw her out about what is really making her hesitate and getting her to say it (whatever it is) out loud will take away some of its potency. Obviously, don't preface that by saying what your motives are. :)

[Chery]

yes, guys! the secret is out...i only continue writing here so i can see the number of posts and pages grow! :P we are actually now happily married with 2 kids! (1)

enken said it best when he said this is more of a journal entry than me asking for advice...this is true for the most part...sometimes i do want advice; the latest being on how i can sleep with her for the love of God?!?! i got my own plan in motion, but was just looking for suggestions

i still disagree about her having me on a leash and calling the shots....she calls me/msgs me/makes plans with me/makes out with me as much as i do...the affection is equal

true, she knows that i really like her and still agree to be in the picture, but if u remember, sometimes i go out to clubs without her and she gets pissed...remember the time she "stalked" me and surprised me outside the club at 2am!

we BOTH want each others affection equally...

it is simply that she doesnt want to let go of her past completely YET and thus is not ready to have sex (2)...and im not ready to leave her alone bc i still care for her, but since im not getting sex and am technically still single, i look for tamales

so we both are there for each other until smthg changes

and just to reiterate, i am not always available...she knows i talk with other girls, etc..we actually fought several times when i told her i was gonna party without her

trust me..i dont have the personality of a weak, needy guy...i do play games sometimes, thats true...but i NEVER stay when im not wanted...as long as she still cares for me and gives me attention, i say "why not?" and stick it out

So, what kind of attention does she give you.

(1) are you shi**ing us on this, or are they her kids?
(2) evidently, as there is no sex in this...

You better get this thread in book format and printed as a best-seller, or I will. I sure could use the money to leave in a will for my grandson. So, how about 2% - does that sound OK?

[tabbarat]

Hahahah... just joking.. no kids... I only said that because talaniman said I'm only writing here for attention :)

What do you mean what kind of attention? Short of the no sex, it is exactly like we are a couple... see each other a lot, make out, talk about problems, get alomg, are best friends, the whole nine yards... the emotions are there, the physical is not (fully)

For you chery, 5% :)

I prefer movies though... I think brad pitt should play me ;) hehehe

Take care

[Chery]

hahahah...just joking..no kids...i only said that bc talaniman said im only writing here for attention :)

what do u mean what kind of attention? short of the no sex, it is exactly like we are a couple...see each other a lot, make out, talk about problems, get alomg, are best friends, the whole nine yards...the emotions are there, the physical is not (fully)

for u chery, 5% :)

i prefer movies though...i think brad pitt should play me ;) hehehe

take care

Thanks for the raise in percentage dear. Who do you think should play her role? What color hair do we need? You take care too, and I hope your friendship ends up with more benefits for you too.

[tabbarat]

Thanks dear... typical ukrainian/russian/european look... she has blonde hair and blue eyes.. about 170 cm.. 55 kg... 36-26-38 ;)... maybe meg ryan? Lol

[friend4u178]

thanks dear...typical ukrainian/russian/european look...she has blonde hair and blue eyes..about 170 cm..55 kg...36-26-38 ;)...maybe meg ryan? lol

I have the perfect actress for you Tab... hope you approve LMAO ;)

[talaniman]

I only said that because talaniman said I'm only writing here for attention :)

Why else would you keep things going?? Its not being just stubborn in your ways, but you really do fear being alone.

[slapshot_oi]

I tried posting a reply but I just kept erasing it. I usually love a good argument to pass the time even if it's based around circular-logic; I can't do this one anymore.

On a side-note, congratulations Obama! This is f***in' awesome!

[Dapimpuhate]

.. not to sound mean or negative.. but that's not the only reason she had contact with him... because the stress of her job? -blinks-... so if she's with you... but if anything stressful comes along she's going to run right back to him and tell him all her problems?. 10 years is a long time.. but he's an ex for a reason... OR she's an ex for a reason... I just think that.. u should move on and let that one go... sounds like too much trouble than what its worth... on your part and on hers...

[brandibaby23]

OK first off wouldn't it be real entertaining to know that her ex is bawfing a new girl but still answers her calls when she calls him? You need to hire a PI and send after her ex.

And I have tried moving on after a breakup from an Ex of a long time, and let me tell you the only thing she will be thinking of his HIM while she's doing you. Probably even go to the bathroom and cry after wards are you READY for that kind of rejection?

Let me tell you one more thing I KNOW from experience she will NEVER NEVER NEVER get over him while they are still communicating!! You are just kept around to keep her from feeling like and thinking of him EVERY SECOND of the day! I KNOW THIS TOO. And yea she can say she likes you and all that blah blah blah but it is just words, any girl can do it any guy can do it! There is NO WAY OF KNOWING what someone really thinks of you. Sex is a good indicator but even then some people are able to cope with "Flings"

I broke up with my ex of 9 years and met someone new I tried to convince myself and him that I liked him by kissing and crap but at night when I went home all I thought about was the ex. But I kept going back with the new guy who gave me attention and "HELPED" me feel better throughout the days. MIND YOU I WAS THE ONE WHO DID THE BREAKING UP!

[tabbarat]

Wow, brandi! She also did the breaking up after 10 yrs! Seems our stories are similar... but she did admit to me that she is not over the ex and needs time.. its not like she is lying to me or keeping me in the dark... she does care for me and hopes she can get over her past and move forward with me (she keeps telling me stories of how bad he was (he abused her a couple times and had a drug problem))... HOWEVER, she also tells me that she still loves him because she was with him half her life

So we both know the deal and are so far enjoying the "open relationship"

Until then, GO OBAMA! I really hope he does smthg great, and was elected for his policies; not because of the color of his skin or because he is not a republican

We in the middle east are happy we are going to see change too

[TrueFaith]

This post is never going to end is it.

[friend4u178]

All threads get closed at 1500 posts... lol :)

[tabbarat]

1500? So we still got time... enjoy, ladies and gentlemen :)

[friend4u178]

1500?! so we still got time...enjoy, ladies and gentlemen :)

Lets just hope there's some progress by then Tab :)

[Romefalls19]

Doubt there will be Friend, but hopefuly he will start a new one. I would like a nice bed time story to tell my grandchildren