[samanthaswz]

I am in love with a guy who I just realised that he was a gay.It hurts when he lied me off that he is no more gay but actually not because he was trying to conceive his feeling.
He told me that he is lost whether he is a straight or a gay. He said that he will never fall in love with a female .Maybe it is not a right time for him.But he treats me likewise a couple will do like calling me every night,fetching m,e college every weekdays and even asked me out for a movie and to the mall. But someone told me off that he is in love with me,But I couldn't feel about it. So desperate now.
Is he really in love with me or he is really a gay?:confused:

[mishelly3]

Its sounds like he has found the greatest of friend in you and at this time in all of his confusion that's all he needs is your love and support not to add to all of his confusion. It sounds like that man is so lost and he trying to find himself, but he is lucky enough to find a good Friend in you. So if I were you let nature take its course and don't push him you can force some one to have a relationship with you. Just be there for him while he trying to figure things out..

[linnealand]

hello there. I'm trying to decipher your predicament here as much as possible.

it sounds like you're saying this: you're in love with a man. This man is telling you that he is confused about his sexuality. In all likelihood, he's gay, but he isn't ready to fully admit it. He said he will never fall in love a woman. He calls you to talk every night. You go out sometimes. He has even invited you to see a movie with him, and he asked you to go to the mall. Am I getting everything right?

it looks like you're in a situation that might be more common than you think. Please pardon me for everything I'm about to say; I know how stereotypical it's going to sound (so in preface, yes, I know that not everyone is like this), but try to hang on with me just the same.

gay guys can make for incredible friends. They love to talk about things that you love to talk about, they often dress better than their heterosexual counterparts, they are well groomed, cute, funny, sensitive, sweet, loving, flirty... everything a girl could ask for and more. But if a man is gay, there isn't anything you can do to make him love you in a way that is more than platonic.

maybe he likes knowing that you have feelings for him. Maybe he's comforted and flattered by that idea. At the same time, I'm sure he does care about you in many ways, and perhaps he feels like he has taken the responsibility off his shoulders by telling you outright that he will never be able to be your boyfriend because he can never love a woman. You are a woman, so the equation ends with the realization that he can never love you... at least in that way. So, for your sake, do not hold your breath while waiting to see if he will change his mind.

do you think that you can be his friend if you can't be his girlfriend? Because perhaps the best thing that you can do as his friend is to support him in his struggle to accept himself as he is. Enjoy his company, and let him enjoy yours.

p. s. just so you know, the more appropriate way to refer to a homosexual man or woman would just be to call them "gay," rather than "a gay."

:)

[Choux]

I think if your goal in life is to get married and have children, you better disengage emotionally from this guy and look for a heterosexual boyfriend.

From what I can tell from your description, you two are great friends... he is giving you a hint that it will never be a sexual relationship.

It is always good to have wonderful friends. Don't expect too much from him, girl. No need to break up your friendship--just cool off the fantasies about having a sex life with him. :)

Very best wishes to you, :)

[samanthaswz]

Thanks for all the comments..
I guess I know what to do know..
Get the rid off..
At least we can be FRIENDS :)
Appreciate u guys comments!!

[liz28]

He already express to you how he feels and his confusion about his sexuality. The only thing you can do is respect his feelings and control your as well. Friends are hard to come by these days and if anything you got a friend for life in him. He is going through a lot of personal things right now and a battle within his self. It is good that you know the truth about him instead of you finding out later while your in a relationship with him and your feelings would have been deeper.

It sounds like he already knows what he want but have a hard time coming out. Maybe he should take to someone about this, like a counselor or something, and who knows you might be able to help him come out. He might love you but not in a romatic way.

[samanthaswz]

Liz28.. yea.. I see that.. thanks for your comment.. too..
If not I am stuck in the middle... in the air...
Still waiting fir sth.. now at least I really know how to handle it.. our friendship that exist..
Being a friend is always better than being a lover.. He told me so before.Indeed.

[samanthaswz]

I have posted a question based on the title "Miserable about gay" a few days ago..
The he phoned me up.. I was too glad to see those positive comments, and I have accidentally told him about what I asked online.. He sounded nothing, but I have a strong feeling that he was kind of MAD at me.. again,our friendship is at stake[I guessed]
Today,he still drove me to college but he didn't even miscall me like he usually does when he is about to reach my hostel.Why was he reacting so? And during lunch he went back home ,I with couple of bestie dined at the hawker centre.. during our meals,he phone the other 2 of my friends but not me.. [seriously,it pissed me off,because he usually phone me or first]
Then,the male friend of mine knew about it,he asked him in a very indirect way,he told me that manson did phone me.I was like really?because I didn't detect any vibration of my phone..
And so HE LIED!!

Could he mad about it?:confused::(
*sobs*

[rocky63]

I know your hurting but think what can occur , he may be receiving gay sex right now do you really want to be with a man who likes that

[linnealand]

I know your hurting but think what can occur , he may be recieving gay sex right now do you really want to be with a man who likes that

My curiosity is getting the better of me, but what did you mean when you said, "do you really want to be with a man who likes that"?

[smoothy]

my curiosity is getting the better of me, but what did you mean when you said, "do you really want to be with a man who likes that"?

I'll take a stab at the answer.

In other words "do you want to be with a man who perfers Kielbasa over taco's."

[linnealand]

I'll take a stab at the answer.

In other words "do you want to be with a man who perfers Kielbasa over taco's."

Thank you, smoothy. That made it clear... maybe too clear... :)

Anyway, I just wanted to make sure he wasn't saying that gay people don't make for good company because their favorite part of the sandwich is the meat. But, yes, I wouldn't want to give my bun to someone who doesn't like buns.

[rocky63]

If you are hetrosexual you would possibly have to deal with him having gay sex in the future.