[Sweet_Guy23]

Wow...

[Sweet_Guy23]

You know before me and her got together I thought I was ok, and that I loved myself like I was suppose to. I was ok and cool before I met her you know? I guess this whole situation was me looking in a mirror...seeing some things about me that I never saw before...

To add to that... I guess you will know really who you are until you've been a situation that tests you... metaphorically...

I honest thought I love myself I was suppose to, but I didn't act that all...

[kctiger]

Me and you both. I thought I knew myself and was totally confident and happy with just me. Found the "first love" and when we broke up two months ago I found myself questioning my own purpose/goodness and character. That happens to everyone. Slowly but surely I am able to look in the mirror and tell myself with full conviction "I like me." Soon, I will be saying "I love me!" Just progression and experience. I am an old man too (26), so I am a late bloomer as far as this goes, but I am picking myself up and keep on moving. Good to see you are learning as well.

[SimpleguyJoe]

Ok yours is a common problem


your first realtionship.

All butterflys and rainbows.. etc .. etc

then it ends and its all hell.

heres the good news. you will never feel the same way! about any other girlfriend again.

Every girl you date. you love in a different way.
the next girl you will date. could make you feel so confidant and secuer that you will just be so relaxed.

And you wasnt attached to your girlfriend.. ok
we all get attached to our girls

You made HER LIFE.. YOUR LIFE..

Big Big mistake. Grilfriends are part of your life... They are not your life..

you must have your own way and not follow or be mixed up in theres.. ( thats girfriends)

you date them to have fun.. not to be so in there lives you can't see where yours ends and theres begins.

you will shock your self to see how much you have learnt once the next girl comes along.

just remember your mistakes and dont make the same ones again.

also be proud of your self man you sound like your guilty of your emotions.
dont be. enjoy them thast what makes you.. you.

Just remember take it easy. even if she is the special girl. dont put them up on an ICON.. just act normal and keep your own goals and life in check

Do not lose yourself in a realtionship.
its an easy thing to do

best of luck

Very right. I also made the mistake of breaking about everything you said not to do. Makes it a lot worse >.> I even wrote like an hour long thing I was going to post and have everyone look over and tell me what I did wrong, things to avoid etc etc. but It was WAY to long so I never did.

Also kudos to you truefaith. Had to spread the rep though.

[Sweet_Guy23]

I thought I knew myself and was totally confident and happy with just me. Found the "first love" and when we broke up two months ago I found myself questioning my own purpose/goodness and character. That happens to everyone.

Does it really happens to everyone?? I know... dumb question but I feel like I the only one.

You're right. I questioned my character, happiness, self-worth, goodness, started to think I wasn't going to meet no one as good as she was... I was a mess, Im doing better, but sometimes I find myself feeling low.

[kctiger]

You feel low for awhile. I got to be honest, this is the best thing that has happened to ME. I have quit smoking, live a much healthier lifestyle, and focus more on myself than I ever have. I have the greatest friends in the world, all of whom have been through this more than once. They too have helped me out sooo much. Yes, EVERYONE experiences this. I think it is awesome to know you are capable of so much love and affection. That is the mark of a truly good person. Kudos to you!

[kctiger]

To also clarify, I have been on NC for only 12 days. I keep a count... at any rate, I feel low a lot too, so the storm doesn't pass with the snap of a finger. Just know that eventually, when the storm does pass and the clouds start to break, you will find beauty in things you never really thought you would again. I am not there yet, but I am looking forward to that my friend!

[Sweet_Guy23]

You feel low for awhile. I gotta be honest, this is the best thing that has happened to ME. I have quit smoking, live a much healthier lifestyle, and focus more on myself than I ever have. I have the greatest friends in the world, all of whom have been through this more than once. They too have helped me out sooo much. Yes, EVERYONE experiences this. I think it is awesome to know you are capable of so much love and affection. That is the mark of a truly good person. Kudos to you!

Yeah. Today is one of those low days. But you said in due time I will be OK. And this whole situation will be behind me. Can't wait for that day. I'm not the only one...

Yeah I am capable of love and affection, it just has to be with the right person.

[WakkieRob]

I'm no expert for sure but you sound like a sweet guy and this probably sounds like something your mum would say but if you don't find someone else someone else will find you OK!

GOODLUCK mate

[Sweet_Guy23]

Lol... good one

[kctiger]

You did love the right person but it just didn't work out. Just because you were able to love and the relationship didn't last forever does not mean it wasn't the right person. Had you never allowed yourself to fall in love you would have never found out in the first place. Don't go looking for the "right person" because sometimes you just never know. We don't live in Hollywood. Not everyone falls in love on sight, moves to the house with a white picket fence and lives happily ever after. No one I know at least... would be cool if that is what you are into. Point is, this wasn't a failed relationship, it just wasn't meant to be. So what. MOST of the time you cannot control when you fall in love, or fall out of love, it just happens. I will say I have friends that do not allow themselves to fall in love with another, due to past instances, and they are missing out on so much life has to offer.

[WakkieRob]

I had this girl at school once called Faith and she used to hit me in the balls all the time as it was some crazy fetish she might have enjoyed it but I certainly didn't. Some woman really knows where to hurt you that's for sure. Unfortunately it didn't stop me making babies. Lol :')

If you don't laugh your just cry…

[Bonnie46]

You won't necessarily be able to hold back or not fall hard the next time, but remember - each time this happens, you learn from your experience.

*newsflash*: You may get hurt several times.

Your world will be turned into an upside down hell with pain and heart ache, for every break-up you experience with different people - but if just keep picking yourself up each time, and try again - sooner or later, someone really good, really great in fact - will come into your life (keep in mind, if you are only in your late teens or early twenties, this may take a few YEARS). When it's right, it won't hurt this time, and everything will fall into place.

Meet as many new people as you can, and just keep dating different people. Each person will indirectly teach you something new about yourself. (what type of person you can and cannot live with)

Keep your chin up. The pain and anxiety and lack of sleep, and inability to concentrate and all the other horrible symptoms of a break-up are normal. It takes time, but you will move forward, and you'll be okay.

Hang in there.

[Sweet_Guy23]

You won't necessarily be able to hold back or not fall hard the next time, but remember - each time this happens, you learn from your experience.

*newsflash*: You may get hurt several times.

Your world will be turned into an upside down hell with pain and heart ache, for every break-up you experience with different people - but if just keep picking yourself up each time, and try again - sooner or later, someone really good, really great in fact - will come into your life (keep in mind, if you are only in your late teens or early twenties, this may take a few YEARS). When it's right, it won't hurt this time, and everything will fall into place.

Meet as many new people as you can, and just keep dating different people. Each person will indirectly teach you something new about yourself. (what type of person you can and cannot live with)

Keep your chin up. The pain and anxiety and lack of sleep, and inability to concentrate and all the other horrible symptoms of a break-up are normal. it takes time, but you will move forward, and you'll be okay.

hang in there.

I may get hurt several times? No! This past time was enough for me... lol But I get what you are saying.

When it's right, it won't hurt this time, and everything will fall into place.

Everything will fall in place... thats good to know...

The pain and anxiety and lack of sleep, and inability to concentrate and all the other horrible symptoms of a break-up are normal.

These are normal feelings.. What.. Well I can guarantee she's not losing any sleep over me, or has any symptoms at all...

[SimpleguyJoe]

You don't always know for sure. Sometimes people try to play it off like it does not hurt. But they are only lying to themselves.

[scorpio80]

I recently broke up with a partner who made me feel the same. Except mine was 2 and a half yrs. We actually got back together again and just a week ago broke up. Except I broke it off this time as I wanted things to be serious and he didn't.. now I'm sad I broke it off and I miss him and he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore because he realised that he doesn't want me anymore. I have been really upset and sad but I'm trying to remind myself of why I broke this up..

And then I wondered if I was trying to rush him into it and should have let things slowly happen. But that's not me I am not patient with these things! Anyway I guess things happen for a reason and I'm just hanging out for the day I can wake up and not be hurt anymore!

[scorpio80]

And the self doubt thing definatley happens to everyone. You wonder if I had the personality of someone else would this not have happened? Is it me what's wrong with me etc.. It is a good time for self reflection and evry time we have broken up I achieve so much more. But I think the biggest lesson I learnt is not to allow your happiness and being to become dependent on the person your in the relationship with.

I guess this is something we all have to learn the hard way.

[WakkieRob]

But I think the biggest lesson I learnt is not to allow your happiness and being to become dependent on the person your in the relationship with.

I disagree, I think if you have a good relationship you are both dependent on each other because you love one another!

[talaniman]

I disagree, I think if you have a good relationship you are both dependent on each other because you love one another!

I have to disagree, as a good relationship depends on the partners sharing their happiness. Depending on them, takes away your responsibility to yourself, and that can be a recipe to disaster.

[Sweet_Guy23]

Depending on them, takes away your responsibility to yourself, and that can be a recipe to disaster.

My situation can atest to that! Never depend on someone for your happiness.