[candywoowoo]

Please can someone give me some advice. I have been married for a year and love my husband dearly but he has started to verbally abuse me. I know I can be irritating (I am a woman after all!) but when we argue he shouts balistically at me, out of control. He calls me names 'idiot' 'mental case' ' am I stupid' 'my head if ed' 'ive ruined his life' etc. He shouts so much. I normally end up on the floor crying uncontrobally but then he shouts at me to stop crying. I get so low I feel like ripping my eyes out in front of him as that is the only way I will stop crying. He has never touched me but he does punch the walls and cupboards, sometimes by the side of my head. I stay quiet as I am so upset and scared of saying the wrong thing but this just infuriates him even more. If I try and hug him and try and calm him down and forget it he pushed me away. If I try to leave he slams the door so I can't go and threathens to self harm if I do. I can't get away. I ask to be left alone for 5 minutes to just calm down and then we can sort it but he cannot handle that. His father verbally abused his mother and hima dn his sister. He hates it and when he calms down sometimes he crys and says he is just like his father. He remembers everything he does. And he feels guilty but after time he thinks I was the one in the wrong. Maybe I am? I do not want to leave him as he is my best friend and I love him dearly. When things are good there so good and I want to help him not give up on him. Please any advice anyone can give me id really appriciate it. I feel so low, can't stop crying and have thought of ending it all. Please help. Thanks

[tickle]

Before he destroys your existence you have to convince him he needs help (when he is in a calm mood). Does he drink alcohol during or before these episodes? Is he having money problems ?

Do you two have children ?

[candywoowoo]

Before he destroys your existence you have to convince him he needs help (when he is in a calm mood). Does he drink alcohol during or before these episodes? Is he having money problems ?

Do you two have children ?

No we do not have any children and he very rarely drinks. He does smoke cannibis once a week. But that's it. Thanks for your reply

[WakkieRob]

Yes stop him or he will get worse and probably start hitting you and then its to late because he won't be able to stop. Cannibis is number 1 for paranoia and depending on how much he takes will determine if he can hold a conversation with you. EDP Exeter Drug Project online website has info but best to take him into 1 ASAP. The trouble is it will get harder before it gets easier and it takes time to come to terms with it for him.
I was a alcoholic and it took me years to come around and stress was the main course. Go on holiday together and let the stress go before asking him or find out what makes him happy and do this more often its hard I know but be brave in the name of love. Love you sweetheart take care :-)

[Choux]

Abuse is a total dealbreaker. No reason to waste your youth with an abuser... it is only going to escalate.

You made a mistake... get a divorce and move to a different neighborhood and start over... get some therapy so you don't attract any more abusers.

Best wishes,:)