[Marrisa36]

I guess, word got out that I had done well on this college math exam, and everyone was talking about it, and they kept asking me if I had told my (former) math teacher about all of this. This teacher was a young guy, he was 24, and we spent a lot of time together, really because I was just so bad in math, and I was always needing help... I really just struggled like you can't imagine and then It all just came together at the end of the year. But, we got to know each other and stuff.. a lot of people tell me he has a thing for me, or that's how it seems. Now that I am graduated and we are not in the same school anymore, people are always like... just wait... he is going to ask you out one day.

I realized that he started doing strange things, like telling other kids(as a joke), that they should not talk to me, even make eye contact with me.. or one time he said in class one day, that he loved me and that I will always have a special place in his heart. He would make these little remarks like, once I saw him in the hallway and it was crowded and he came out of one of the classes and told this kid, "hey...fix yourself up, look decent.. because there is a beautiful girl in the hallway, and he just brushed by me. He saw me before graduation, he told me I looked beautiful, and said that this year has been a year he won't forget, because he feels that he has become a better person, teacher, everything because I opened his eyes to giving people an opportunity to succeed.The year was full of moments like that. Now, I am starting to question how I feel about him, It's like he slowly seduced me all year?

I mean, he told me at the end of the year, that he did like me, and hoped that my future husband realizes how lucky he really is to have someone like me. ( how strange is that...iam not getting married any time soon?) I caught up with my teacher recently.. and it was at school and when he saw me, he told me, 'hey..before you leave, you have to check out my office..you haven't been up there yet.' So, He went to class and I went up to see what he was talking about, and he had this pic. of us that I gave him at the end of the year, framed. The picture kinda shocked me...I was like...huh? Its like the only thing he has up too..like he doesnt have any other things up in his office yet. He told me, he (w/out the use of my real name to his students), he used my whole."Struggling at the start of the year.changed my attitude.ended up passing his class story the other day. He was like."I used that in my First day of school speech that I gave all my classes....so I just thought you should know, I was talking about you to all my classes the first week of school."


But.. really, more recently.. I got this great grade on a College Math Test, and everyone was like.. Oh my god, he is not going to believe how well your doing this year, you have to tell him yourself.. everyone was like, we won't say anything, you tell him, personally.
Turns out the afternoon that I was came by, he had left school early.. so a teacher who he shares an office with gave me his E-Mail and said, go ahead.. just E-mail him the good news! So I sent him an E-mail and just said.. Hey, Your never going to believe what happened.. and I told him about the test grade.. and that I just can not believe that I am doing so well... and I guess all that hard work from last year is just paying off, because this semester so far, has been pretty good.

Then he responded back like two days later, and he was like.. " ohh iam sorry its taken me this long to respond. I missed you when you came to school the other day, becasuse I left early. Now, I wish I didnt do that, because I am sure you would have made me laugh, just the way your E-Mail did. He was like..I heard about your score from a lot of people actually. It just goes to show you what can happen when you work hard at something, you can really do well when you put your mind to it. I am so proud of you, and not just academically, that your doing well in school...but I am really proud of the woman your becoming. I just want you to always remember that anything done with determination and hard work can be achievied, and that Anything is possible. Every time I look at the photo of you and I, here in the office...it just makes me smile".

So, has all of this stuff last year, and it seems to have kind of kept going this year, even though Iam not in the same school anymore.. does this all sound crazzy and all in my head? I never thought of this guy as anything but my teacher, and I always have had good relationships with my teachers, but it seems that as time went by and Graduation came up and stuff... my feelings changed towards him and now I am just so confused!

[hannah_nicole]

Sounds a bit odd to me. You didn't realise something was out of teacher student relations when he is calling you beautiful, telling you he loves you and speaking about your lucky future husband? Did you fuel any of this? What sort things have you said back to him when he has made these comments? And what is your age? Thanks.

[redwee74]

Stay away. A teacher is a professional and should act like one. He stepped over a line with you and should not. This guy is a creep. Remember this is just my opinion.

[Marrisa36]

Sounds a bit odd to me. You didnt realise something was out of teacher student relations when he is calling you beautiful, telling you he loves you and speaking about your lucky future husband? Did you fuel any of this? What sort things have you said back to him when he has made these comments? And what is your age? Thanks.

Well, I am going to be 19.. and really... I didn't really make note of everything he had done, until it was to late to like... freak out. I never responded to any of his actions during the year. I guess you can say.. I really never looked at him like that, he was just my teacher, my friend.. and that was it but then suddenly... as my Senior year came to an end, I started to feel things that I didn't feel before and then I started thinking back, and it all made sense.. like I realized what some of the things he did and said might have meant, you know. But, in terms of time during the year, I really never felt uncomfortable, or anything with him, everything was fine. And there are times, I feel kind of stupid.. becasue sometimes even my friends would joke about us ending up together somewhere down the line... and the whole year, they would always be making remarks about us and what was even stranger, was I even had some other 'Faculty' members that would tell me, " oh, well...lucky for you he likes you, cause he does he likes you', or ' ohh you know he loves you', stuff like that. It was kind of like...everyone saw "something", except for me. Part of me, can't believe I was that blind.

I really dont see him as a bad person, but at the same time, part of me always wonders, " did he say and do all of this stuff, just because I was around all the time or did he mean any of it?" Its like... Iam a torn between thinking.. he is a good person, and friend.. with thinking he is got ulterior motives for everything and the whole year was just a joke. There are some times, I think... maybe I have just been a women, played the fool, and Its all in my head... but on the flip side.. there's always a small part of me, that thinks... maybe.. just maybe... everything happened for a reason... I don't know... And the truth is, we never really got along.. at the start of the year... we bumped heads a lot! But then as the year went on, I guess you can say I grew up a little.. I mean, I was always a mature person.. but I really learned so much about myself... and I started to change the way I was approaching his class, and he made tons of changes too.. and it was like we both kind of grew on each other. We sort of made each other change, and lucky for both of us, they were mostly changes for the better.. and I like to think we are better people because of some of the stuff that we went through.

I don't know if any of that makes sense...

[talaniman]

Crushes are common, but since nothing happened really, so let it go, and never forget your own boundaries.

Could you be mistaking gratitude for helping with good grades something more?

Let it go!

[JBeaucaire]

How old are you, how old is he now?

[Marrisa36]

I am going to be 19, and he is going to be 25.

[JBeaucaire]

Oh my. OK. Well, that means he was subliminally flirting with you when it was culturally inappropriate. That's a concern.

Meanwhile, you're legal now, so if considering a romantic liaison with a man surrounded by young ladies and not afraid to flirt with them is attractive to you, go for it.

[thadevilsadvocate]

He was obviously new to teaching, not that this excuses him from making comments to a student, that he shouldn't have even thought of saying, but then again your ages are very similar, and if you were too forget the student-teacher situation, then this would never even be a big deal. You are no longer his student, and he is no longer your teacher, and therefore you should deal with things in that manner. It is one thing if he was 40 and you were 19, but this is a different situation. Sure he broke some guidelines by saying the things he said, but that is no longer the situation. So, IMO think of your present situation as though you are just a 19 year old girl and he is a 25 year old guy. I would talk to him about it, and even considering starting as scratch from this point on, and disregarding that you were ever his student, and that he was ever your teacher. See how things go from there.

[Marrisa36]

Yea, that's actually the approach I was thining of maybe taking. A lot of people tell me that, unlike in most situations, the guy would usually be the one to make the first move, but some people have told me, that I may have to be the one to initiate the converstaion here. Some people have told me, " you know, he has done a lot of chasing..like he does so many things to show you he cares and you never gave anything kind of sign or anything in return to him. Maybe you two should just sit and really talk about what your feelings are."

I guess now that I think back, If I would have maybe been abit more receptive to some of his actions, maybe he would express how he feels now, much easier. I don't know. But its like I said... during the year, I just was not looking at our friendship like that.. but as the year came to an end the way I looked at him, started to change. I really thought over the summer... everything ( the way I felt).. would just go away.. but then, they didn't go away and I just thought.. well maybe it's that we were just used to seeing each other every day... so it will go away.. and then when I was visiting my H.S. this year and I ran into him, and the thing with the photo being framed happened and then the E-Mail, and just everything else.. and I am kind of like... All of this has to be happening for a reason, but he has not really "Approached" me for anything and I didn't know if I should do anything, but I guess I am going to have to talk to him about everything. I'd rather know what he feels then just keep "guessing" about everything.

[talaniman]

Have you considered leaving him alone instead of trying to see what could come of this?

I say that because since your not his student, he isn't pursuing, and he certainly would be if he was interested now, don't you think.

I advise caution in your situation.

[Marrisa36]

I am really sorry for bothering you guys on here all the time, but I noticed something this past weekend, I was at a homecoming game and was walking the track with a friend and I and all of a sudden, I hear someone say " ohh so whats this? You can't say hello to me anymore?" And I like turned around and it was him and he was like " hey...what you doing?" and he gave me a hug and I was like.. I am not doing anything, just here for the game and stuff", and he was like ohh, well these are my friends..and there was like a guy and I guess the guy's girlfriend or wife, and they had a kid with them. And he was like..yeah, this is Marrisa, she is my former student. And they were all like..."ohh, nice to meet you." Then he was like.. alright ladies.. I guess I will see you later.

He didn't even acknowledge my friend and he had her in a class last year too. And she was like.. I was going to say... um, I was in your class last year too... she was like... but whatever. She was like... Dont you think its kind of weird.. he introduces anyone he is with to you, all the time. Like I saw him at school one day... and he was with a girl and he was like... Ohh this is my brother's fiancé.. and I was like.. ohh.. well nice to meet you. Lol

I didn't really notice it, until the other day at the game, I mean... my friend was RIGHT next to me... to the point that I was like... and this is my friend.. blah,blah... because he didn't even bring her up. He asked how she was doing and then he was like.. alright well I'll see you ladies later. I mean, I understand being polite when you are with other people and you run into someone you know, its fine to introduce everyone, but EVERYONE... being the key word there.