[AmExp]

Well thank you... I wish men would understand that... Also, I have been told that I look unapproachable... (b**chy) and that I wouldn't give a guy the time of day... stuck on myself. I don't find myself to be that way at all!. How can we remedy this problem?

[Dragonfly1234]

Don't take this the wrong way... you seem like a smart, fun girl but there is one thing that I can't help but point out; you seem to think that a lot of things revolve solely around you. Now, of course this thread is about you so it's a little hard not to talk about yourself but despite that, I get the sense that there is a bit of maturity lacking in that aspect. I don't even know if telling you this will serve any kind of purpose and I wouldn't even mention it if it wasn't for the fact that I suspect this little 'issue' is probably at the root of some your problems.

I don't know you and I don't know anything about you and I may be way off here but if I'm not and you are in fact a little too focused on yourself for your own good, you would find that a lot things in your life would work out a lot better if you had a different perspective and approached challenges from a different stand point than the one you have now.

On the other hand, I may have the wrong impression given that this thread is becoming more about ranting than anything else. And if that's the case and it makes you feel better, then rant away, that's what we're here for...

[AmExp]

Hmmm... do you want to give an example of what you are talking about in particular? Simply because you did make the most valid statement of all the others... this post is about me... and trying remedy some of the problems I am having when it comes to relationships with men. I also feel like why should I have to change for someone else? Take it or leave it... I just cannot find a happy medium and for that reason this whole issue is getting out of hand. WOMP WOMP!

[Dare81]

I think you really need to move on.Q

[AmExp]

Thank you, we got that... we are working on other aspects now. Anyone, Bueller? Moving on...

[Dare81]

It sure does not seem like you are moving on. Texting your ex like physo is not part of moving on.

[AmExp]

I was not texting my ex like a psycho. If you are not going to give constructive criticism then please move on. No one is forcing you to read this post and you will not berate me.

[Dragonfly1234]

Hmmm.....do you want to give an example of what you are talking about in particular? Simply because you did make the most valid statement of all the others...this post is about me... and trying remedy some of the problems I am having when it comes to relationships with men. I also feel like why should I have to change for someone else? Take it or leave it...I just cannot find a happy medium and for that reason this whole issue is getting out of hand. WOMP WOMP!

First off, you don't have to change for anyone but yourself, assuming you want to improve yourself, which as you know, we all need to do once in a while.

Perfect example: I point out something about you and you immediately want to go more into detail, you want me to tell you more about... you.

When I was about 14 (I'm 27), my brother in law said to me at one point "you seem to enjoy using the word "I" a lot". I didn't like him saying that. I was a bit annoyed by that comment but I still remember it to this day because after he told me that, I started noticing it a lot more. I noticed that I liked things to be about me and I liked whenever I had attention. Today, at 27, I still like attention but I've learned to enjoy it with maturity. This meaning that in general, I don't seek it and I don't let it influence my decisions. I toned it down considerably because I knew why my brother in law thought it necessary to mention it; I didn't want a flaw like that dictating and ultimately hindering important aspects of my life.

Having maturity with regards to this is realising that being humble is so much more gratifying than the ups and downs that come with trying to have the spot light all the time. And believe it or not but modesty can often resolve problematic situations.

[Dare81]

I was not texting my ex like a psycho. If you are not going to give constructive criticism then please move on. No one is forcing you to read this post and you will not berate me.

I was not trying to berate you. If that is how you felt I am sorry.
Good luck with everything else

[AmExp]

I thank you for your opinion Dragonfly, but I want to also clarify that I am a humble person. Not that I have a laundry list of accolades and accomplishments, but my parents do and I have learned from them when to be humble. I am asking for you to help me because I am having a hard time understanding what my issues are. I am seeking advice and help from "older" people who have more life experience. I must admit, I have had an easy life, so, I would like a wake up call before I get busy in "the real world".

[AmExp]

I have thought A LOT about everyone's comments. THANK YOU ALL! If you have anything else in mind, then please keep the CONSTRUCTIVE comments coming. Gracias amigos!

[talaniman]

I am seeking advice and help from "older" people who have more life experience. I must admit, I have had an easy life, so, I would like a wake up call before I get busy in "the real world".

I have to admire your courage for asking this question, and your attitude for being willing to listen. A wise man once said its great to learn from your mistakes, its wiser to learn from the mistakes of others- (No I didn't say that, but its true.)

The most important thing we do for ourselves is to know about who we really are with no BS, and love ourselves, despite our mistakes. Then we seldom fall for the BS of others. Stay humble.

[AmExp]

Thank you for the advice... and you are right. :)

[MsJulia]

AmExp... I hope it's becoming easier for you to get over this jerk... as time goes by! :)

[AmExp]

Well thank you Ms. Julia! Yes, it is! I am pleasantly surprised!! I got a lot of help from the fabulous people ( some not so fabulous) of this forum! Many of you have given me a new insight which I am thankful for. Cheers!

[myheart0345]

that is exactly what is going on with me. He gets mad when I get all weird because he doesn't call back or it takes him hours to call me back.. I'm trying hard not to call him but when I do and he doesn't pick up I try even harder not to freak out.. he will want to talk to you more when you don't freak out.. as soon as you freak out it just reminds him of how much he doesn't want you around.. I hope everything works out for you =)

[AmExp]

Thanks myheart. I have gone 3 days since the infamous "I miss you text" and I am much better than I thought I would! YAYA! Good luck to you as well.

[redwee74]

AmExp, just remember to always remember others. Think about them before yourself and the rest will come. I have tried doing this for many years, and sometimes I get mud in my face but when I wake up and look in the mirror I am happy with what I see. Just remember the finer things in life, financially should come from work not someone who will provide them for you. Just look for someone who likes you for you and the same from you. Don't worry about their car or house just worry about what kind of person they are. Physical attraction has to be there but don't put all your eggs in that basket. If you want someone who looks good on your arm then you are not ready for a serious relationship. I have been there and done that. It always blows up on me. Now I look for someone who is more my kind on the life issues and personality front. Someone I can build the better life with not have it already made for me. We call those gold diggers and by the way you are asking for help I don't believe that you are one of those. Just look for happiness first and everything else will follow.
Good luck and God bless.

[AmExp]

Thanks redwee! Update: So I broke th NC and I ended up sending a nasty message... I mean a VERY nasty message. I was frustrated with him and some other things. I basically told him "I heard he likes running around with skanky pill heads. That's his business but he should want to elevate himself to classier people. Just a thought." That was mean on many levels but this guy is a hole and I could not keep that bottled inside of me anymore. I told him what I thought. So what. OH well. All in all our conversation ended with him saying, "Please don't call me anymore." and the last thing I said was, "You were never on my level anyway." It is what it is. Also, a friend of mine told me he is playing me and trying to make me want him more. Is that true?

[Dragonfly1234]

Also, a friend of mine told me he is playing me and trying to make me want him more. Is that true?

Does it really matter?