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    follow please's Avatar
    follow please Posts: 64, Reputation: -1
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    #21

    Sep 29, 2008, 08:30 PM

    Yes this is definitely and purely your decision. But ill tell you my point of view, because this site is for advice and expression. Ill have to say abortion, I have a hippie view of the world, but before abortion it is only the POTENTIAL for life. The points I can make: well, if you decide to go through with pregnancy be prepared for extreme pain physically and mentally. Be prepared to possibly be cut open to get the baby out, be prepared to never go to college or university and get a good education and job in the future that you will need to support your child, be prepared to completely ruin your body (it will never be the same again), be prepared to feel at fault if your child suffers and awful life... just be prepared to have an emotional hiroshima dropped on you. I strongly suggest an abortion before it is too late, giving away a child you housed for 9 months and witnessed how beautiful life can be, is just too hard... im sorry but this is life ruining situation. I hope you make the right decision, I wish you luck with your future endeavours and possibly raising your child.

    Follow Please
    Live Love L E A R N
    follow please's Avatar
    follow please Posts: 64, Reputation: -1
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    #22

    Oct 2, 2008, 02:12 PM

    I meant the whole ordeal, not just the abortion. This is her choice people, she's on here for advice, and this is mine. I can't tell her what she should and should not do, I'm only pointing out my way of thinking about it. Life is beautiful, and there are many ways of screwing it up, whether it be by letting it flourish, or smothering it. We live in a sick world, there's too much opinion to be tossed around, I don't mean to offend ANYONE, I'm trying to help the poor girl
    follow please's Avatar
    follow please Posts: 64, Reputation: -1
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    #23

    Oct 2, 2008, 02:14 PM
    I guess what I'm getting at is, you shouldn't be on this site asking people. You should be talking to your loved ones about what to do and what's best for you
    ANB428's Avatar
    ANB428 Posts: 450, Reputation: 42
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    #24

    Oct 2, 2008, 02:53 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by follow please View Post
    be prepared to never go to college or university and get a good education and job in the future that you will need to support your child,


    Live Love L E A R N

    This is totally not true. I got pregnant at 18 and I kept my daughter and yea I struggle every month, but I go to college full-time and work two jobs. I work for a government contractor for the Army Defense (so I have a good job) and I am still getting my education. Oh and my mom lives over 900 miles away from me and my father is dead. I have been doing this for three years without any help from the father or my parents. I started school two years ago. So, it is possible, but it is VERY hard!! If I can do it, you can. So before you listen to all of these other people's opinions you should pray to God and see what he wants for you. God does everything for a reason. There are many pros and cons for abortion, adoption and keeping the baby. If you have an abortion you will not have to deal with raising a child alone at a young age, but could you live with that decision? You can give the baby up for adoption to a loving family, but can you deal with the fact that one day the child may come to you and ask you why you gave it up and why you didn't care enough to keep it? And last is to have the baby, but are you ready to give up all of your wants for your child's needs? I never get to spend any money on myself because I am always paying bills or using the money for my daughter's clothes or food, but she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. This decision is totally yours and although there are many people who will give you advice, you are the only one who knows what is best for you. I do believe in abortions, adoption, and keeping the child. I hope that you make the best decision for your life. Good luck!! Don't let other people tell you what to do or not to do because this is YOUR life, not theirs!!
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #25

    Oct 2, 2008, 03:31 PM

    Follow me how dare you say such things. Having a baby at any age is hard and of course having one as a teen is hard but it's up to the person on how they handle things.

    I had my daughter at a young age but still got an education. Most colleges have nurseries in them but a lot of young people are making babies, mostly community colleges though. I finish college and had a job through it all and supported my child. At 18 I had a place of my own for her and me. My body isn't ruin and I didn't have to cut open at birth. Also, my daughter life nor my life is awful.

    I think your view is screwed up and I really didn't see your post as advice. It was horrible. I didn't know hippies think this way.

    To the OP you need to tell your parents and thoroughly think about all your choices before making one. There no easy path and any road you take is going be hard. I hope you have family and friends to help you along the way with any decisions you make. Keep us updated and remember life is a journey.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #26

    Oct 2, 2008, 05:48 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by liz28 View Post
    Follow me how dare you say such things. Having a baby at any age is hard and of course having one as a teen is hard but it's up to the person on how they handle things.

    I had my daughter at a young age but still got an education. Most colleges have nurseries in them but alot of young people are making babies, mostly community colleges though. I finish college and had a job through it all and supported my child. At 18 I had a place of my own for her and me. My body isn't ruin and I didn't have to cut open at birth. Also, my daughter life nor my life is awful.

    I think your view is screwed up and I really didn't see your post as advice. It was horrible. I didn't know hippies think this way.

    To the OP you need to tell your parents and throughly think about all your choices before making one. There no easy path and any road you take is going be hard. I hope you have family and friends to help you along the way with any decisions you make. Keep us updated and remember life is a journey.


    You've posted that you're divorced - where was your husband through all of this?

    I see it less about child care while a single parent is in college and more about paying tuition and living expenses and supporting the child - and being awake enough to attend classes and do well.

    There are exceptions, of course, but the statistics on single parents and poverty and children born to single parents and poverty, the number of single mothers who go on to have other children out of wedlock, are staggering.

    But otherwise I agree - life is what you make it and there is no easy choice. There are single mothers on these boards who have made good lives for themselves and their children and I certainly have friends who (with their child) have succeeded and thrived. One of my best friends put herself through college and law school while waitressing and raising her child alone - so it does happen.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #27

    Oct 2, 2008, 05:58 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    You've posted that you're divorced - where was your husband through all of this?

    I see it less about child care while a single parent is in college and more about paying tuition and living expenses and supporting the child - and being awake enough to attend classes and do well.

    There are exceptions, of course, but the statistics on single parents and poverty and children born to single parents and poverty, the number of single mothers who go on to have other children out of wedlock, are staggering.

    But otherwise I agree - life is what you make it and there is no easy choice. There are single mothers on these boards who have made good lives for themselves and their children and I certainly have friends who (with their child) have succeeded and thrived. One of my best friends put herself through college and law school while waitressing and raising her child alone - so it does happen.
    I never said anywhere on any threads about me being divorce nor ever being married. I think before you post something you should've your information straight because you got me confused with someone else. Never even claimed to be married in any of my threads.

    I never said having a child is only about child care but it isn't minor. Without child care you can't go to school let alone get a job. I had a child and went to college plus graduated. I stated some colleges offer child care but they do have a age limit and it's mostly community colleges. I mention nothing about tution nor sleepless nights or studying but when you have a child while going to school you go through it. I went through it and many females have.
    ANB428's Avatar
    ANB428 Posts: 450, Reputation: 42
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    #28

    Oct 3, 2008, 07:18 AM
    [QUOTE=JudyKayTee;1302958]

    I see it less about child care while a single parent is in college and more about paying tuition and living expenses and supporting the child - and being awake enough to attend classes and do well.

    QUOTE]

    Well, there are many grants out there available for single mothers that will pay for their classes. It is hard though to support yourself and go to school full-time. The grants don't cover your daycare and living expenses, they only cover your tuition and books. You can get loans as well, but seeing how the economy is right now it could be hard. It is possible though to go to school and work and raise a child. I have been doing it for two years now. I do have many sleepless nights and bust my butt though!
    Bural21's Avatar
    Bural21 Posts: 190, Reputation: 18
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    #29

    Oct 4, 2008, 07:57 PM

    If you have plans for going onto college and so-on, I would recommend finding a family who would like a child but can't produce one of their own. Not only are you not killing a life, but you're meeting the potential parents face-to-face so you know the child you produced will live with a wonderful family that will take care of the child.
    livin_life's Avatar
    livin_life Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #30

    Oct 4, 2008, 11:56 PM

    I know what you are going through personally, exact situation. I got an abortion, but this ultimately up to you and what matter most. You can weigh the pros and cons.

    Keeping It:
    1. It will change your life forever, its not just a "baby" this is a child you will have to care for the rest of your life.
    2. Your friends, family, and strangers will judge you. So be prepared
    3. It is going to be the hardest/greatest thing you will ever have to do. Remember you are going to have to have to raise this child financially as well as emotional. You will have to sacrifice going out, friends, having fun, school, career plans, etc.

    Adoption:
    1. You will have to endure the pain of going through the pregnancy, and then giving up this child you have bonded with for the past 9 months.
    2. Your friends, family, and strangers will judge you as well
    3. Dealing with pain that you have given your child, and the child's pain of why they were given up for adoption
    4. Or you can be happy knowing that you provided a better life for your child


    Abortion:
    1. It can be painful to deal with the fact that you have deceased this baby
    2. Your life plans can continue as planned, no sacrifices will have to be made, enjoying the best years of your life your 20s!
    3. Nobody has to know. If you turn 18 before you are 3 months pregnant you can do this on your own

    If you want help or extra advice on abortion in particular I can help you with this matter. I know it's a very emotional time for you and we're all here to help you no matter what you may choose to do.
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
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    #31

    Oct 5, 2008, 07:50 AM

    So as to not be thought ill of by others, killing an innocent bystander is ok.
    So as not to have to feel unwanted pain, killing an innocent bystander is ok.
    So as to not be inconvenienced or feel bad, killing an innocent bystander is ok.

    In the case of abortion, there is by definition no greater defenseless innocent bystander than an unborn child. As long as the only thing important in life is avoiding pain, guilt or shame, killing innocents is OK?

    In no other part of our culture is this thought to be the case. I continue to find it odd that in this case, we do. In all other parts of culture and education we attempt to teach sacrifice, selflessness, and the responsibility of all to protect the weakest among us who cannot protect themselves.

    But not for our own children. I just find it odd.

    I'm absolutely 100% about choice. Everyone gets a choice. I just can't believe we think the choices are "kill the baby or not"? The choice should be "raise the baby myself or not?"

    Just my humble opinion, folks.

    ========
    If killing innocent bystanders is OK to avoid the things noted above, what if you were the innocent bystander?
    kirriky's Avatar
    kirriky Posts: 80, Reputation: 26
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    #32

    Oct 6, 2008, 04:00 AM
    I'm surprised to see how anti-abortion this forum is. Everyone who has mentioned abortion has gotten replies like "how dare you say that", "abortion should not be an option"... Abortion is a reality and a women's right in many countries, and in this situation is one of the options for the girl. It's not about killing the baby - early on it's zygote, a fetus that might or might not be carried to full term. It's about waiting a few years to give your child a better life. This baby is going to be born fatherless, to a teen who didn't want it and is unsure of whether to keep it, who'll have little money to support it and might resent it for "ruining" her life.. What good is it going to do to anyone?
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
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    #33

    Oct 6, 2008, 07:42 AM

    What good is it going to do to anyone?
    The unwanted baby will be the UNIVERSE to the couple that adopts it. That baby will THE MOST WANTED and adored child on the planet.

    Everything you said is correct about the affects on the mother and the life it "might" have as a result if kept, but you just essentially MADE the argument for adoption. Thanks for that.

    And again, like most people I debate this topic with, you fail to answer any of my questions regarding the "rights" of the innocent bystander. Instead, you discount them completely in the name of inconvenience. That's very telling to me.

    You would get sent to JAIL for spanking a child in some districts... but killing it altogether, that's fine.
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #34

    Oct 6, 2008, 01:54 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Miiiiia View Post
    i´m 17 years and i´m pregnant. what should i do? the father is a guy i met in when i was in spain, and i have no contact with him now. should i keep the baby or have an abortion? please help me!

    I wish you well in whatever decision you make. As you can see, there are different options and many opinions. You will have to decide what is best for you and for your pregnancy. Consider how your decision now will potentially effect how you feel about it in 3 years, 5 years, 10 years when your life will be very different from how it is today.
    hjpan's Avatar
    hjpan Posts: 902, Reputation: 29
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    #35

    Oct 6, 2008, 02:11 PM

    Knocked up....

    Yep~ should've kept your legs closed...

    There's nothing to say.

    Adopt.
    Abort.
    Keep.


    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #36

    Oct 6, 2008, 02:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by hjpan View Post
    Knocked up....

    Yep~ should've kept your legs closed...

    There's nothing to say.

    Adopt.
    Abort.
    Keep.



    Totally crude and obscene and right in keeping with all of your other posts. Again, no wonder why you've been suspended from another board - for life.
    Chessca's Avatar
    Chessca Posts: 5, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #37

    Oct 6, 2008, 03:31 PM

    I know this sounds mean because its up to you what you do but personally I'd have an abortion.
    You've got plenty of time left to have kids if you want them and you can have kids with someone you really love as well.
    Get your best mates at your side, (yet again this sounds bad) don't tell your parents, and go out and enjoy your teenage hood because it won't last forever!
    Well done with the guy in spain by the way, wer you pissed or was he really cute lol??

    Get an abortion, good luck CHESSCA XXXX
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
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    #38

    Oct 6, 2008, 04:48 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by hjpan View Post
    Knocked up....

    Yep~ should've kept your legs closed...

    There's nothing to say.

    Adopt.
    Abort.
    Keep.


    You are rude, crude and stupid on top of all that. Your avatar says it all. Drinking straight from the bottle. No wonder you say such trash - you're zonked out of your skull on booze.
    hjpan's Avatar
    hjpan Posts: 902, Reputation: 29
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    #39

    Oct 6, 2008, 06:38 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by twinkiedooter View Post
    You are rude, crude and stupid on top of all that. Your avatar says it all. Drinking straight from the bottle. No wonder you say such trash - you're zonked out of your skull on booze.
    Good one on judging one and assuming about me.

    1. I hardly drank. I only drink when I socialize as you can see that the pic was a house party with me drinking.
    2. I am not rude, crude, and stupid. My post is like everyone else: adopt, abort, or keep.
    3. I don't say such trash. Only those who accept the facts will know what I'm trying to say.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #40

    Oct 6, 2008, 06:42 PM
    This thread was posted by the OP a month ago, and the OP has not returned, as well as the bashing going on here... This thread has been officially closed.

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